How do you get half of the Hamptons to hate you instantly? Destroying the 3,000-year-old sand dunes on your property is a good way to start. Billionaire fund manager Ron Baron now stands accused of razing part of the beachfront property he purchased in May 2007 when he spent a record $103 million for 40 acres of prime East Hampton real estate. Baron has since constructed a 30,000-square-foot mansion on a nearby parcel, but it was the recent destruction of the historic dunes near his house that now has environmental groups up in arms.

Mayor Bloomberg wants to discourage people from using plastic bags when they shop at grocery stores. So he's proposing a 6-cent tax on every bag, a fee that city officials argue could generate as much as $16 million a year. Just wait until the mayor goes food shopping for the first time in years to show off the reusable bags he's suggesting the public use. He won't believe how much milk costs these days! [NYT]

Advertising agencies of the world, I send you this request with the greatest urgency: Please stop reanimating dead people to be in your ads. We've seen Fred Astaire selling vacuums, John Wayne selling beer, and scary Orville Redenbacher selling his popcorn from beyond the grave. It's got to stop, because who knows what terrifying undead army is massing against us on The Other Side to take revenge for the commercialization of their legacies? Now the very dead John F. Kennedy, looking like some sort of monster out of DOOM, has taken to the airwaves to harangue the public on behalf of Greenpeace, his long-decayed vocal chords screeching out a chilling simulacrum of his Massachusetts twang. Watch environmentalists flirting with the undertaker, after the jump:

If you've made a committment to live a greener lifestyle, but you just don't know where to begin, perhaps you can take a cue from MTV's new ad campaign: The spot for water conservation features man, women and kids urinating in public throughout London. The ad campaign is only airing in Europe at the moment, but we look forward to a US version in the near future, if only to watch Bill O'Reilly turn it into a talking point about how America's youth has gone amok. The video is after the jump.

Oh, good: at the same time that parents nationwide find that their savings have evaporated, their children are becoming increasingly strident about harassing them to buy solar panels, hybrid cars, and organic produce. Not only that, but apparently our tax dollars are funding public schools that turn out an army of little Green giants ready to scream over watered lawns and plastic bags. You can almost see their parents smiling tightly through gritted teeth: "That's...good, very good." But as soon as a reporter calls, the adults are ready with an entire litany of annoying complaints:

Portfolio's Jeff Bercovici hears that former VP and current elitist environmentalist Al Gore is planning to buy Plenty, the environmentally-themed do-gooder magazine. Gore's on the cover of the current issue. No official confirmation yet, although Plenty's owner told Bercovici only "that wouldn't be quite accurate." So, sounds true. Did Gore miss all the smart people saying the "green" advertising boom is over? Is he itching to be a mogul past the point of good sense? Gore already has the youth-oriented Current TV network, which isn't doing incredibly well, business-wise. And his post-White House fame has allowed him to move in highfalutin circles—I'm sure he has more friends in venture capital than in farming these days. Plenty might not be the wisest investment, judging only by the general state of the print magazine industry. So this doesn't seem like mogul envy on Gore's part. He's apparently a true believer, and sees environmental media investments as part of his mission. If he makes money on them we'll really be impressed. [Anybody have inside info about Gore's plans? Email us.] [Mixed Media]

Mayor Bloomberg has revealed that he plans to explore putting wind turbines on top of bridges and skyscrapers in order to develop sources of renewable energy in the city. Bloomberg outlined the plan during a speech in Las Vegas on Tuesday night: "He later evoked the image of the Statue of Liberty's torch, saying he imagined it one day "powered by an ocean wind farm." If the city needs an entire wind farm just to power the bulb in Lady Liberty's outstretched arm, that doesn't bode too well, if you ask us. In any event, since Bloomberg said that both private and public businesses will be asked to participate, we look forward to seeing a windmill planted atop the Bloomberg building in Midtown. Although we should probably also take note of the Times' cautionary closing: "Mr. Bloomberg is known for introducing ambitious proposals that later collapse, as did his congestion-pricing plan for Manhattan." Especially as he only has 500 days to get it done.

Al Gore's incredibly expensive campaign to solve the climate crisis by enriching the advertising industry is still going strong! The Gore-backed WeCanSolveIt.org is running a new ad, and it unfortunately embodies the traits of its sponsor: off-putting earnestness and a befuddling message in support of a worthy cause. This one features various Americans staring creepily into the camera while slogans flash, informing politicians that we "demand" that they "use the wind" to stop global warming or something. A tenth of Gore's $300 million budget spent directly on lobbying would accomplish much more than these ads ever will. Environmentalists have all the good weed-is this as creative as they can get? Watch the Gore-like spot after the jump:

Business owners in New York have finally figured out how to draw attention to their business while simultaneously preventing graffiti and Poster Boy-style ad remixes: walls that grow plants. One yoga place on the Upper East Side has done this "living wall" thing, and it draws attention to the business, looks environmentally friendly, and leaves the entire wall impervious to vandalism as an added bonus. Until the bastards come with the hedge trimmers. What then? [Fine Blog via Curbed]

The magazine industry cares about the environment. They promise. For example, did you know that magazines can be recycled? Just put them right there in the recycling bins and feel the satisfaction! The industry is even running a campaign to urge you all to "Please Recycle This Magazine" after you read it (though I choose to recycle Entertainment Weekly before I read it). But are the biggest publishing companies themselves living up to these lofty recycling standards? One possibly soon-to-be-fired Conde Nast insider says hell no! Conde Nast Portfolio media blogger Jeff Bercovici says in a post about the green campaign:

The "direct mail marketing" industry, also known as the people who bring you junk mail, is "going green." In related news, the hot dog industry will be going vegetarian. It seems patently ridiculous that a coalition of junk mailers is going to end pollution, but don't worry-they're not going to strain themselves too hard. "You don't want to scare companies away from joining because they fear some stringent regulation," explains one member. The general public is mired in environmental apathy these days, too. But maybe that's a good thing, considering what the alternative to "direct mail" is:

Well, it's been a year or two since the corporate world started its "green" advertising revolution, and it's worked. The problem is solved! The problem being the fickle consumer's desire to hear companies talk about how "green" they are. "After 18 months, levels of concern on any issue tend to drop off," explains one marketing wizard. Now we can all sit back and feel good about what we've accomplished! The earth is still destined for environmental ruin, but at least we'll be subjected to less marketing bastardization like this:

Here's something new you'll be seeing around town soon enough: "eco-friendly" car-washing carts. After what must have been years of research, environmentalists have determined that the car washes you're used to—the one where you drive through a battery of mops, bristles, and sudsy foam while you (or your children) scream in delight—consumes a ton of a water. Which is bad. Because then there's less of it to waste watering gigantic lawns or filling up Olympic-size swimming pools that no one swims in!

Discovery is launching a new cable network called "Planet Green" that will offer round-the-clock "green" programming. The standard assumption is that his network signals a further mainstreaming of environmentalism, and therefore will somehow be good for the environment. This assumption is incorrect. Rather, it signals that environmentalism—a brand of activism that actually means something—has been transformed into "green," a vague lifestyle term that means nothing. What revolutionary do-good messengers will Planet Green bring to the public? General Motors, Tommy Lee, and "earth-conscious celebrities":

Celebrities: a bunch of hypocrites! They all pay lip service to environmental issues like global warming. But most of them are heavy private jet users. They also engage in a smorgasboard of other environmental sins, from investing in oil companies (Madonna) to wasting water by demanding 120 bath towels at each appearance (Barbra Streisand) to various other transgressions you can read about here. But it's primarily the globetrotting use of gas-guzzling private planes that make their frequent entreaties to save the earth seem empty. So we're polling you, our readers, who have some of the most finely tuned hypocrisy detectors in the world: Which of these six "green" stars is the biggest environmental hypocrite? Cast your vote after the jump.