One of President Michele Bachmann's plans for beefing up American energy independence would be to drill the Everglades. Again, that's "drill the Everglades," as a supposed means of extracting mass quantities of fossil fuels. This idea may be just terrible enough to disgust some of her fellow Tea Partiers.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is in the process of writing rules to protect manatees, the fat monsters who occasionally get lost and dominate media coverage for weeks, from boating and other "activities" that constantly kill them in Kings Bay, Florida. So, is the local Tea Party chapter okay with this? Ha ha, no, not at all.
Scientists—like, actual scientists, with real degrees and a belief in the scientific method—agree that people do not choose their sexual orientation. Someone should tell Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty! Because he seems to think that "the science in that regard is in dispute."
Al Gore is calling out President Obama for his lack of leadership on the environment, saying the White House has failed to "make the case for bold action on climate change."
At Coal Cares — a new initiative from Peabody Energy, the world's largest coal company — you can order cool inhalers for your asthmatic kids, so long as you live within 200 miles of a coal plant. I'm partial to The Bieber, but there's an inhaler here for every taste — even one studded in fake Swarovski crystals! If it all sounds too good (or too awful) to be true, that's because it is. The entire coalcares.org website is a fake, created by The Yes Men — those Swiftian agitators with a talent for mounting elaborate practical jokes. Peabody, however, is very real, and an army of their lobbyists are currently attempting to block what would be the EPA's "first-ever national standards for mercury, arsenic and other toxic air pollution from power plants" — legislation that could prevent 120,000 new cases of childhood asthma per year. As the Bieb might say, that's kinda lame. [coalcares.org, image via Coal Cares]
Geez, the federal government sure has made the last year so tough for struggling oil companies to get new offshore drilling leases. And if there's one sector that needs a helping hand these days, well, it's oil. But thanks to House Republicans those dark days will soon be over! Yesterday a bill was passed — creatively titled the Restarting American Offshore Leasing Now Act — by a vote of 266-to-149 to bring back offshore drilling auctions, which had been shelved in order to make sure safety and environmental concerns were addressed — a long, drawn out mess that was probably pretty annoying for oil companies.
Yellow Pages. I cannot throw those things in the recycle bin fast enough. And yet they keep coming! When was the last time you actually used one, and what did you use it for? As makeshift booster seats for your child's third birthday party? Under-sweater bulletproofing for driving through rough neighborhoods? All-purpose instruments of blunt force trauma? Hey, Yellow Pages: 1983 called. They would have called sooner, but they had to use a Yellow Pages to find your number! You get the point. I hate Yellow Pages. But I love Seattle, for being the first city in the country to actually take active measures to get rid of them.
If a government shutdown happens, it'll be because Republicans are demanding policy restrictions in addition to spending cuts before agreeing to fund the government through September. These policy restrictions would target abortion providers and seek to limit the reach of the Environmental Protection Agency.
The Rush Limbaugh show is a sick affair, always and forever, but this is something special. Tens of thousands are already dead in the country, which is still facing the possibility of catastrophic meltdown in multiple nuclear reactors at any minute. Here's how Limbaugh, the same man who has the power to make or break any Republican politician on a whim, handled a dumb caller's question:
Republicans rarely miss a chance to go out of their way to stick it to the hippies and their twee environmental issues when they take power. When Ronald Reagan became president, for example, he stripped off the modest cluster of solar panels Jimmy Carter had installed on the White House roof, just to make the point that America shouldn't see its long addiction to hydrocarbons as something worth changing. And now, as part of the Tea Party Revolution, House Republicans are getting rid of the biodegradable utensils and food and drink containers that Nancy Pelosi introduced in the House cafeteria, in favor of the more traditional and evil styrofoam.
"A lot of people talk about the romantic sound of pulling a cork," says wine-on-tap purveyor Hardy Wallace, as he shows NPR his bottle-free wine. The thought of "tasting" from a tap is just, dear lord, horrifying. But it's eco-friendly!
