One of President Michele Bachmann's plans for beefing up American energy independence would be to drill the Everglades. Again, that's "drill the Everglades," as a supposed means of extracting mass quantities of fossil fuels. This idea may be just terrible enough to disgust some of her fellow Tea Partiers.

Here's how Bachmann explained her rather drill-heavy plan for a new energy century to the Associated Press this weekend:

The United States needs to be less dependent on foreign sources of energy and more dependent upon American resourcefulness. Whether that is in the Everglades, or whether that is in the eastern Gulf [of Mexico] region or whether that's in North Dakota, we need to go where the energy is.

As geologists have since pointed out, there really isn't much of the good stuff below THE DAMN EVERGLADES. University of South Florida Geologist Dr. Albert Hine believes that any oil reserves worth drilling near the state would be at least 100 miles off-coast, and caps off his argument with this beautifully crafted line: "I don't think Florida is the next big hydrocarbon mega-province."

Florida Congressman Allen West, Tea Party to the core, responded coldly to Bachmann's plan at a town hall this week: "I have to tell you that Michele Bachmann said something that was an incredible faux pas yesterday on possibly looking for energy resources in the Everglades. And when I see her next week, I'll straighten her out about that."

And while this isn't exactly a new feature of American politics, it's always interesting to see how bombastic "Drill baby drill!" politicians instantly become naturalist poets when it's their district's environment, their water, and their tourism dollars that have been queued for destruction:

The Everglades is one of the natural wonders of the world. . . . That's an incredible ecosystem and it's a wetland that is natural and pristine and that's something we have to preserve for our future generations.

Too lovely.

[Images via AP]