A fan broke into the English soccer team's locker room, presumably to boo them face-to-face.

Here's a story about a man who got his balls waxed for charity in an English pub. When they pulled off the wax, six layers of skin came off and he almost lost his balls. Thanks, The Sun! (pic shutterstock)

Last night, Stephen Colbert opened the Report with a funny-as-hell segment about the United States' strained relationship with England due to BP's oil spill—and he brought up the World Cup match as often as possible, natch. Video inside.

Former British conservative prime minister Margaret Thatcher is old and sick and barely does anything anymore. But now Sarah Palin wants a photo-op, so Thatcher may just drag herself out of bed yet, to be polite.

America doesn't suck at soccer! A technically outmatched U.S. team tied England 1-1 today amidst the droning vuvuzelas, thanks to a fluke mishandling of Clint Dempsey's shot by English goalkeeper Robert Green. Ha ha. Next match: Against Slovenia this Friday.

We are less than one half-hour away from the most Important Soccer Match of All Time: America vs. England in the first round of the World Cup! Let's get ready to hate England!

The World Cup soccer games started today in South Africa and the whole world (minus America) is all excited. We've already looked at the sexy players, but what about those crazy football fans? They sure are... something!

What is happening in our inexplicably awful and violent world today? Well there was another stabbing rampage in China, of course—this one on a train. It was unspeakably nightmarish! That was just for starters.

[The only difference between you and Queen Elizabeth II is she gets caught picking her nose. Oh, and she and all her jewels rode in a horse-drawn carriage to open Parliament today and you didn't. So there. Image via Getty]

Apparently iconic eighties musician Adam Ant has been sectioned under Britain's Mental Health Act, kind of like the time the hospital put a mental health hold on Britney Spears. The news comes after Adam Ant's curse-strewn stage rant against Christians.

Why does England always gets the great new shows? Seven Wonders of the World is a new sounding board for Karl to go on tirades about things that don't make sense to him. Lucky for us, that encompasses a lot.

Conservative David Cameron is England's new prime minister. But he had to form a coalition government, with Liberal Democrat Nick Clegg serving as deputy Prime Minister. This means Clegg and Cameron are gay together, like in Brokeback Mountain!

Tonight, Jon Stewart aired his final "Clustershag to 10 Downing" segment related to the British prime minister election and subsequent transfer of power, and reveled in the hilariously brutal details of outgoing PM Gordon Brown's final, humiliating moments. Video inside.

Tonight, Jon Stewart continued his satirical look at the election of Britain's next Prime Minister and commented on the "hung parliament," before bringing in John Oliver to try to explain why things had ended up how they had. Video inside.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown says he'll step down as leader of the Labour Party, meaning his leadership of the British government is also likely over. His party will build a "progressive coalition government" with Nick Clegg's Liberal Democrats. [NYT]

Well, Great Britain ("America 1.0") finally held its election last night, and it looks like they'll wind up with a hung Parliament, which means Thomas Jane will be made Prime Minister. Just kidding! But seriously, who won?

Exit polls show that Tories have made huge gains in Britain's elections. Whatever that means!

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart gave a hilarious overview of the current ~scandal~ rocking the campaign for Britain's next prime minister—"Bigotgate," as the UK media are calling it—and turned something mundane into something enthralling. Video inside.

[As part of Great Britain's get out of the vote effort, the London Zoo's meerkats have been given mock ballots and a red post office box to demonstrate how easy it is to vote. Image via Splash.]

It's pretty easy to knock Britain for having a boring political scene, compared to Ukraine at least. The Guardian called on its readers to submit their own political posters and the results are dry, funny, and even gross. Let's look.