It's been a while since we've checked in with Julia Diaco, the "pot princess" who skated on 25 years in prison for selling marijuana from her NYU dorm room by pleading out and getting probation. As it turns out, she's not just an entrepreneur: She also sings. Much like her fellow Rumson residents Jon Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen, Julia (or, as she's now known, J-Dia) wants to make her mark on the music industry. We've gone to her MySpace page to sample her wares and will just say this: Someone needs to make her pee in a cup but quick. She may not be selling pot anymore, but if these tracks are any indication, she is clearly on the pipe.

• NB to Scarlett Johansson: You're ours, bitch. You're just pretty property of the paparazzi. If you continue to fight it, you'll only continue to embarrass yourself. [Gilded Moose]
• Uh, breaking? Britney Spears did not have a press conference today to address pregnancy rumors. So, you know, back to rampant and unfounded speculation. [BlogNYC]
• One man dared to follow Tom Cruise all over town yesterday. That man is to be respected, but only from afar. Get too close, and he seems kind of scary. [Confessions of a Celebrity Stalker]
• Now that Mexico has legalized marijuana, cocaine, and heroin, you'll have a much easier time deciding on a vacation locale. [NY Sun]
• When it comes to Kaavya Viswanathan satire, Forbes' Karl Shmavonian gives Mediabistro's Laurel Touby a run for her money. [Forbes]
• Our dark master emerges from his gilded loft! Oh, the sunlight, how it stings! [Blogebrity]
• In the Times' write-up of the Costume Institute Gala, there's but one line you need to read to understand it all: "'Can you believe they're giving us pies?' a British model said when a lamb pie was put in front of her." [NYT]
• Herve Villachez, just because we feel like it. [Pimpadelic Wonderland via Vidiot]

• How can you not love Nicole Richie? The saintly thing can't help but share every last sprinkle of blow she's got. [Defamer]
• The reservation line for Mr. Chow's Tribeca outpost is up and running; even if you're nobody, you can snag a table for Saturday's opening. [Eater]
• After reading an interview in which Barbara Corcoran talks about overcoming dyslexia to become the wicked queen of the housing bubble, we have to wonder: Is the Corcobeast the Tom Cruise of real estate? [Bankrate]
• At this point, what hasn't Kaavya Viswanathan plagiarized? [Crimson]
• Providence, R.I., actually manages to outdo Williamsburg in the retarded irony department. [You Tube]
• Scientology digs its claws into Janeane Garofolo. Is no one safe? [Scoop]
• Memoirist Augusten Burroughs likens the James Frey boondoggle to Milli Vanilli. Wrong! Milli Vanilli is far superior, simply by virtue of their hair. [Book Standard]
• The Smoking Gun pulls through with documents from Sopranos actor John Ventimiglia's arrest, complete with an impressive six counts of being totally fucked up. [TSG]

There's really something magical about being cast on the Sopranos. Not only can it make your acting career (don't kid yourself into thinking you otherwise have chops, Sigler), but it can kickstart your real-life criminal calling. Lillo Brancato Jr., who played Matt Bevilaqua, was charged with murder; Robert Iler, who plays A.J. Soprano, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor larceny; Vincent Pastore, better known as Big Pussy, was arrested for beating his girlfriend; and Tony Sirico, who plays Paulie Walnuts, has 28 arrests to his name (all from before his thespian pursuits).

• Denise Richards' divorce from Charlie Sheen is shaping up to be the sort of celebrity tempest that could make Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger look weak. Now Sheen's friends are talking to the press — the more nasty opinions, the merrier! [Page Six]
• And while Denise Richards seeks solace in the arms of Richie Sambora, Heather Locklear opts for wound-licking courtesy of David Spade. [Us Weekly]
• When Rosie O'Donnell heads to The View, we'll be praying that she'll accuse Star Jones of pooping soup on-air. That's Emmy material. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Pete Doherty generously shares his needle with a fan. Who happens to be unconscious. If she ever wakes up, she'll no doubt appreciate the gesture. [Sun UK]
• Is Jessica Simpson's flack Rob Shuter planting nasty quotage about Nick Lachey? Is water wet? [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Daniel Baldwin is arrested for cocaine, making him the little-known but totally fun brother. [CourtTV]
• Let's make sure we get this right: We're not to cast our eyes upon George Clooney, but we are supposed to listen to his pleas for Darfur? Doesn't work that way, George. Let us stalk you, and we'll happily fight genocide. [ITV]

• Us Weekly announces that Britney Spears is pregnant again. You sleep with K-Fed once, fine. We all make mistakes. But to let that thing into your pants twice? That's cause for a public stoning. Meanwhile: sculptors, please get started on your new pieces. [Us Weekly]
• Nick Lachey feels the sting of Jann Wenner's cruel editorship: after sitting down for an interview thinking it would be for the cover of Rolling Stone, he was surprised to find himself on the cover of Us instead. That's what he gets for not talking more shit about his creepy former father-in-law. [Page Six]
• Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher continues to solicit pity in her new memoir. At any rate, we pity her for actually writing the thing. [R&M]
• West Winger wunderwriter Aaron Sorkin takes his crack-smoking past and turns it into art. Naturally, Matthew Perry has a co-starring role. [Page Six]
• Yesterday we declared Denise Richards to be one of the dumbest rocks to ever rest in the celebrity garden, but maybe we misjudged. By playing nice with the paparazzi, Richards maintains the upper hand in the celebrity weekly war. [Lowdown]
• Rather than put in 240 hours of community service for drunk driving, Lost star Michelle Rodriguez opts for 5 days in the slammer. Bitch is hardcore. [TMZ]

When he's not too busy with the day-to-day grind of composing commercially successful electronica or rolling around in a giant pile of ceylon kennilworth tea leaves, Moby prefers to retreat to his mountaintop cabin in Putnam County, where he relaxes with a few close friends and enjoys the serenity of an ecstasy-fueled groovefest. Or so the above photos, taken from one NYU girl's Facebook, would seem to suggest. More support to that theory here (kind of NSFW).

Tell us, queerly eyed fashion guru Carson Kressley, whatever should we wear to a benefit for the Boys & Girls Club, an organization devoted to providing a safe place for kids to have safe, supervised fun and companionship, so as to keep them away from the temptations of gangs and drugs? A t-shirt with an enormous, sequined pot leaf? Brilliant. Thanks!

• After her baby Sean was effectively dropped on his head, Britney Spears looks to sue the makers of the high chair the child had been in. If only she could sue the makers of retarded white trash, too. Then all her problems would be accounted for. [Scoop]
• Oh, yeah — Brooke Shields also had her baby yesterday. Just to spite Tom Cruise, Baby Grier (that's a girl's name, apparently) is already on antidepressants. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Spikey-haired producer Brian Grazer has filed for legal separation from his wife Gigi — but not divorce. Pussy too scared to take it all the way? [TMZ]
• An elevator at the Gansevoort hotel was overcrowded, causing a free-fall that stopped between the fourth and fifth floors and forced everyone to pry their way out. That's what happens when you have 18 drunken Eurotrashers in a confined space. [Page Six]
• Eminem is devasted after the death of his friend, D-12 rapper Proof. The death should be an uplifting occasion — now Proof has street cred in heaven. Meanwhile, his ex-wife has taken to emailing Star magazine. No wonder he's suicidal. [Gatecrasher]
• Angelina Jolie, lesbian sex, exotic dancers, heroin, death — just another day in 1995. [Page Six]

Turns out it's not just us. amNew York reports today on a study showing that New York has risen to be the 11th worst city in the country for allergy suffers, up from 88th last year. Worse, because of what some allergy guru is describing as a mild winter (are we the only ones who remember a blizzard or two?), allergy season has started earlier than ever this year. The good news — in so many ways — is that you don't live in Hartford, apparently the worst allergy city in the country. And also this, a helpful tip from Gawker: Claritin continues to work wonders, and Duane Reade- or Rite Aid- or CVS-brand Loratadine works every bit as well for a fraction of the money. Which reminds us we really need to go take one, so our hands stop itching.

• People magazine scores the first baby pics of Barron Trump, to be revealed in next week's issue. Barron, however, is no baby Brangelina — he only fetched mid-six figures. Not even a month old and already a failure. [Page Six]
• Elle's international creative director Gilles Bensimon may be slowly pushed out the door, leaving EIC Roberta Myers in charge of delegating fabulousness. [Lowdown (3rd item)]
• 23-year-old Denise Vasi's family thinks her boyfriend Russell Simmons, at 50 years of age, is too old for her. It's always nice to see basic math skills in action. [R&M]
• After a mere five days, fairy-throated boxed Mike Tyson leaves a Phoenix rehab clinic where he was being treated for cocaine addiction — and the entire staff exhales. [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise says he has a "spectacular" sex life with Katie Holmes. We can't imagine. Seriously, not even capable of conjuring the visuals on this one. [IMDb]

Here's a little something to make your head explode, courtesy of pretty Jim Shi at The Daily:

• George Clooney eats hot dogs! Let's sabotage hot dogs! [Gallery of the Absurd]
• And another one bites the dust: Hachette says it'll shut ELLEgirl after the June/July issue, leaving it as a web- and wireless-only brand. [WWD]
• Folio: announces its list of the 40 most influential/ successful / annoying / evil people in magazine publishing. The Daily Show's Jon Stewart makes the list — it's a long fall from the Oscars, ain't it? [Folio:]
• Meanwhile, Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry begins his long climb up the special events ladder by hosting the Webby awards. [PR Newswire]
• Why we prefer the foreign press: They know we want to read about a dude who took 40,000 hits of ecstasy. [Guardian]
• Death Row Records head Suge Knight may have declared bankruptcy, but he's never too poor to pop a cap in your ass. [TMZ]
• Rosie O'Donnell is back in our good graces. According to her profile in New York, she shares our love for the Schtick Intuition. And last night on Leno, she called herself a 200-lb. lesbian. Good, clean fun — Rosie's back! [Fish Drink Water]
• Someone has stolen Jerry Garcia's toilet. Authorities believe the priceless porcelain may have been traded in for Big Gulp, Doritos, and two packs of Twinkies. [CNN]
• Ben Smith launches his Daily News political blog — complete with a sexy picture. Too bad he hasn't left the Observer yet. [Daily Politics]
• Drudge reports on Couric's move to CBS by reprinting the Mary Tyler Moore song. The Gay never lets us down. [Drudge]

• Though they announced their separation on Friday, Russell Simmons claims that things are rather cozy between him and Kimora, and there's still a chance for reconciliation. But don't tell that to Denise Vasi, the 23-year-old who's been dating Russell. [Lowdown]
• Howard Stern warns Katie that should she go to CBS, ratings will drop and CBS will find a way not to pay her. Then what? We can't see her legs on satellite radio. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman is rumored to have had her 11-year marriage to bouncy psycopath Tom Cruise annulled so that she can marry Keith Urban in a Catholic ceremony. Cue flack denials. [Scoop]
• For the public opening of his company, Diddy misses the bell at the NYSE. Can't expect a playa to get up before 12, yo. [Page Six]
• Now that he's off of cocaine, actor Kiefer Sutherland has redirected his focus towards cooking. Since he loved the ritual of preparing his stash for consumption, he now gets off on the crushing and cutting garlic cloves. [R&M (2nd item)]

• Because God is inexplicably protecting Maer Roshan, Radar still looms over us. Well, kind of. Maybe not. Maybe so, with Jesse Jackson's son in the mix. And whether or not the mag that Maer built comes alive, it sure is fun to speculate and send Roshan into a secretive frenzy.
• Our sick and psychotic Gawker Stalker Maps continue to destroy the world, prompting George Clooneyto don his Batman suit and unite his flacky friends against our satanic practices. The New York Press agrees that we're bad people and, moreover, just snarkity snark snark snarky.
• Naomi Campbell assaults her staff again — and this time, it's over a pair of jeans.
• Hell of a week for masthead changes: Wall Street Journal's Weekend Journal editor Amy Stevens saunters over to Conde; the Observer's Ben Smith relocates to the Daily News; more changes at Spin; and Newsweek executive editor Dorothy Kalins suspiciously heads upstairs.
• Breaking: Just like any student at any college, NYU kids like to party.
• Circulation desperation sets in, and free papers are everyfuckingwhere. And if they're free papers from the Post, you'll find them at the dump. Or China.
• It took way too long, but the Village Voice's doe-eyed young fabulist Nick Sylvester finally gets fired.

Wait, something was wrong with the old one, "Happiness in a Little Ziplock Baggie"?

NYU's student paper, the Washington Square News, has a stunning exposé today in which they pull the veil off of higher education and reveal — wait for it — that college kids smoke pot. (Commence shocked head-shaking.) The problem is so darn rampant, in fact, so that one dorm hallway in particular has been dubbed the "Pot Palace," where students break dorm rules (so unbelievably disrespectful) just to get high. To get into the suite best known for the potheads within, you must execute a secret knock to the tune of Super Mario Brothers, and from there the door opens into a world you probably know very well. Some shocking clichés:

Click to enlarge.

Not that a single one of you should be surprised, but the UK's Sun has declared that Whitney Houston is a bona fide crackhead by publishing pictures of the singer's bathroom after a bender. Why is it that the British publications always score the best controlled substance pics?

Spotted on Orchard Street last night. Because sometimes it's just too much work to call your friend's friend to get a new dealer's pager number.