Breaking: Reefer Madness at NYU!
NYU's student paper, the Washington Square News, has a stunning exposé today in which they pull the veil off of higher education and reveal — wait for it — that college kids smoke pot. (Commence shocked head-shaking.) The problem is so darn rampant, in fact, so that one dorm hallway in particular has been dubbed the "Pot Palace," where students break dorm rules (so unbelievably disrespectful) just to get high. To get into the suite best known for the potheads within, you must execute a secret knock to the tune of Super Mario Brothers, and from there the door opens into a world you probably know very well. Some shocking clichés:
• During the interview, the anonymous students are hitting the bong, watching Star Wars, "giggling whenever Chewbacca lets out a feral growl."
• Birkenstocks are present.
• "'Last week, I did everyone's dishes for a nitrous balloon and an eighth of pot.'"
• They videotape themselves when they're fucked-up, then watch the footage while getting high again.
• "The five suitemates often smoke pot and drink alcohol 'just to get through the day.'"
• "Mark, a thickly browed CAS junior, said he regrets selling his government bonds — about $3,000 worth — just to buy more pot."
• "'Pot is too big of a part of my life for me to quit just because NYU tells me to.'"
Alas, the article contains no anecdotes about the time they gang-banged their old dealer, NYU's Pot Princess — but they've got it on videotape if you want to watch.
