Why had no one thought to ask death-soaked bubonic replicant Donald Trump, America's foremost lover of declaring bankruptcy, about the debt ceiling until now? In retrospect, it was irresponsible to form a single opinion about the issue of raising America's borrowing limit before soliciting the advice of this prominent capitalist cartoon character, from television. What is to be done, Mr. Trump?

Trump has finally addressed the issue in one of his delightful "From The Desk Of Donald Trump" videos where he just shouts nonsense into the camera for a couple of minutes. He tells Republicans not to agree to any deal that doesn't repeal ObamaCare (?) and to let Obama suffer the consequences of default, which would cost him reelection. Sure, Trump gives Republicans permission to "tap" the issue along for a few months at a time. "YOU CAN TAP IT ALONG, YOU CAN MAKE IT GO LONGER, THAT'S OKAY," he says. But in a year or so, Republicans should go for the default if they don't get everything they want. Doesn't the patriotism just bring a tear to your eye?

It sucks that Donald Trump still isn't pretending to run for president. Jump back in, please!