This morning’s New York Times had two front-page stories about politics that were really one story. One was about the fact that Republicans who identify as evangelical Christians are rallying behind the aggressively impious figure of Donald Trump. The other was about how Hillary Clinton’s campaign is desperately trying to get ready for a prolonged state-by-state nominating contest against Bernie Sanders.

Donald Trump, a presidential candidate whose campaign has been a little too much even for former KKK grand wizard David Duke, received some perhaps unwelcome support this month in the form of a pro-Trump robocall from an openly white nationalist group. After a considerable amount of prodding, CNN’s Erin Burnett got the candidate to go on record disavowing the group’s endorsement last week, but according to its leader, there’s really no hard feelings at all.

On Sunday afternoon, Donald Trump took to his Facebook page to tease the “very special guest” attending his rally in Iowa later today. So after some quick eliminating of nearly everyone because who in their right mind would possibly align themselves with Trump, the internet settled on its most likely answer: frequent subject of McCain night terrors Sarah Palin.

Today at 10:30 a.m., in the year of Lord 2016, Donald John Trump, Sr. will take to the stage at weaponized Christianity training institute Liberty University to give a speech about... something. Presumably Martin Luther King, Jr. will be involved, as will one of Donald Trump’s favorite books, the Bible. And of course, freedom.

Today, about 11:30 a.m. Eastern, members of British Parliament are going to take to the floor and do something a lot of Americans have likely been dreaming of: Discuss whether or not to formally ban Donald Trump from the country for hate speech.

In response to a question from CNN’s Jake Tapper about his stated desire to deport millions of undocumented immigrants, Donald Trump suggested that similar policies adopted by the Eisenhower administration were not “shameful” but “very effective.”

Tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m., man who has definitely read the Bible Donald Trump will be speaking at televangelist Jerry Falwell’s own, personal Christian Kingdom: Liberty University. On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. It’s going to be an absolute disaster. And we can’t wait.

Here is the 1999 interview, brought to you by the Cruz campaign, in which Donald Trump elucidates what Ted Cruz now is referring to as “New York values.” He deflects a question about same-sex marriage, tacitly supports gays serving in the military, and declares himself “very pro-choice.”

Former Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele thinks Donald Trump is going to get the party’s nomination. Michael Steele also thought people didn’t like him because he was “streetwise,” but there it is just the same.

To any reasonable observer, including and especially its own residents, New York City is a swirling vortex of greed, debauchery and sin. Over the past few days, Tea Party hero and Texas Senator Ted Cruz has correctly, if awkwardly and ham-fistedly, noted the hard reality of “New York values” in the course of criticizing his opponent (and perhaps the most famous New Yorker on the planet), Donald Trump. A spokesperson for a Cruz-supporting SuperPAC recently told reporters, “New York is home to many wonderful people and places, but the emphasis is more on money than morality, on self-aggrandizement than humility.” And during Thursday night’s GOP debate, Cruz added, “Everybody understands that the values in New York City are socially liberal and pro-abortion and pro-gay marriage. And focus on money and the media.”

During an otherwise unremarkable response to a question about Second Amendment rights at tonight’s debate, Donald Trump revealed one major flaw in his plan to be President: He has absolutely no idea how the government works.

Yesterday’s Donald Trump rally in Pensacola, Fla. featured all the hits: Crazy depraved old people in bad hats, mutual masturbation to the thought of a very large wall, and Trump himself publicly berating somebody for a minor perceived mistake. But it also featured what stands as a new classic in the Trump canon: a troupe of young girls clumsily performing a rather horrible pop song written in his honor.

Nikki Haley, who not-so-subtly addressed Trump’s call to ban all Muslim immigrants during last night’s State of the Union response, has responded to criticism from Trump by holding fast to her position. And also by apparently forgetting that slavery, Jim Crow laws, and the Trail of Tears (along with the rest of a not at all insignificant portion of American history) ever happened.

If Donald Trump wins the presidency, he will have a job for four years. If not, he may not have a job ever again.

Donald Trump, a drunk court jester who’s been roving the country doing racist Chris Farley impersonations for packed stadiums, was a little off earlier today. And as has happened to struggling comedians since time immemorial, Donald Trump got heckled.

Recently, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has been raising the question of his rival Ted Cruz’s eligibility to be president, implying that, because he was born in Canada, he is not a “natural-born citizen.” He is, of course, but that hardly seems to matter.

In Iowa this weekend, Talking Points Memo reports, registered voters began receiving robocalls in which Jared Taylor, spokesman for the white supremacist group that Dylann Roof cites as inspiration in his racist manifesto, implores citizens of the state to vote for Donald Trump.

Tyrant idolizer and drug lord pal Donald Trump has lots of influence these days, and he’s taken to wielding it with the delicacy of a flame thrower.

Earlier this evening, Rolling Stone published a bizarre, 11,000-word article detailing occasional Friends extra Sean Penn’s seven-hour encounter with the then-at-large drug lord El Chapo. And of course the two discuss (who else but) Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, a man who could be called equally as fascist as many a dictator who came before him, has a new hero—or, rather, a new supreme leader.