“Fuck Verizon!”

If Hillary Clinton secures the Democratic nomination, who will be her vice president? I have no idea. Some people think: Tom Perez.

In a campaign that is increasingly being defined by the public’s weariness with inequality and aspects of free trade, the labor movement has settled on Hillary Clinton as its presumptive presidential preference. The labor movement is fucking up.

Memory is a funny thing, and it’s even funnier when you’re in the midst of a bitter fight for the highest political office in the country.

Democratic caucus results are starting to roll in, with Sen. Bernie Sanders leading in early results from Nebraska.

U.S. congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard resigned from her position as Vice Chairman of the Democratic National Committee on Sunday, announcing that she quit so that she can support Sen. Bernie Sanders as the Democratic nominee.

Young bad boy and soon-to-be savior to bros across the country, Bernie Sanders, was once arrested. Decades before the Age Of Social Media, it was caught on tape.

As the presidential election progresses, Wall Street grows increasingly fearful that the “radical” economic proposals of Bernie Sanders or Donald Trump could become a reality. They might want to worry about the “mainstream” candidates as well.

One of the most persistent and least useful arguments of this presidential campaign season is taking place among Democrats who (mostly) talk past one another about how economic inequality and racial inequality are or are not linked. Does someone have a good proposal? Let’s hear it.

Bill Clinton seems to think that he is, inexplicably, a “stand-in for the first black president,” as he so carefully explained this week.

A new batch of Hillary Clinton’s emails was unceremoniously dumped into the world on Saturday, totaling 1,000 pages and containing a group of ominously-classified “secret” messages.

It could be the script for the latest installment of National Lampoon’s Vacation: a kooky Henry Kissinger sips a frosty Mai Tai, a floppy bucket hat drooping low over his brow, scrolling through the google hits for the search term “am i a war criminal.” In walk the Clintons, dragging a pair of beaten-up suitcases. “Oh Henry, old pal! We’ve made it!”

With 3% of New Hampshire precincts reporting, boot-as-hat wearing crazy sorcerer man Vermin Supreme has 0.2% of the Democratic vote. Martin O’Malley, who ran a modern political campaign, currently has 0.3%.

RAYMOND, NEW HAMPSHIRE—“It’s horrible! It’s terrible!” shrieked the two men as they staggered through the crowded Tuckaway Tavern, waving a cross and a mirror. “He’s too close to power! It’s a curse from the devil!”

“Hillary Clinton Is Again Put on the Defensive Over Perceived Ties to Wall Street,” the New York Times frets today. Whatever could be going on here?

You may not like Bernie Sanders as a presidential candidate, but you’ve gotta admit, this man’s got some pretty expressive peepers.

Today, American voters can finally head to the polls to exercise their hallowed democratic right: the right to actively participate in destroying their own dreams of a better country.

Bernie Sanders, a man whose personal net worth is well below his millionaire and billionaire competitors, is, according to reports, rolling in it.

In the past politics has been called a game of chess, a dirty game, a blood sport. This year, we’ve decided to throw it all out the window; right now, presidential politics in the U.S. look a whole lot more like a giant, boring math equation.

On Saturday, The New York Times’ editorial board endorsed Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton for her party’s nomination, calling her “one of the most broadly and deeply qualified presidential candidates in modern history.” The board wrote: