There's a rumor that "Justin Bieber", a Smith performance art major's well-received senior thesis, will host a rebooted version of MTV's hidden-camera series Punk'd. So he'll be the new Ashton Kutcher. Meaning he'll marry the new Demi Moore, Demi Moore.

Lindsay Lohan: Free again. How much does it cost to have the Situation hang out with you? Oksana and Mel exchange dueling extortion claims. But, seriously, guys. Lindsay Lohan's out of jail! Saturday Gossip Roundup can't believe it either.

What will it take to start Travolta's version of the Tiger Woods' mistress parade? T.I. gets arrested for drug possession. Lindsay Lohan fights to stop her father from selling pages from her old diary. Thursday gossip kisses and tells.

This is schadenfreude at its finest! Check out this video of Demi Moore "dancing" on stage with Snoop Dogg and husband Ashton Kutcher, during a recent Las Vegas concert. If Moore had a day job, she should stick to it.

Why did Lourdes Leon wear a marijuana-themed wristband? Lindsay Lohan may go free tomorrow. Taylor Momsen rather regrets her latest teen angst interview. Cuba Gooding Jr. parties with Johnny Weir. Tuesday gossip makes bold statements.

Sex and the City 2's press tour devolves into a nightmare of TMI. Spencer won't let Heidi use the internet. Freak airplane accident kills two Travolta dogs. Food Network hobo murder plot was actually a murder-suicide. Tuesday's gossip intrigues.

Within hours of confirmation of their relationships, the seeds of discontent were sown—or fertilized, in Kristen's womb. Sean Penn gets probation. Kendra sex tape screenshots. Heidi Montag held captive in her own home. Here's your Thursday gossip.

Eight kids takes a toll. Elin Nordegren flees to Sweden and wants to stay there. Heather Locklear's hit and run, Cuban Gooding Jr.'s boozy ramble, Naomi Campbell's blood diamond. Thursday's gossip roundup is too busy to get nasty.

He was only using her for her fame. Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have a flirt-off. Ashton and Demi party with New York's Foursquare fanatics. Sandra Bullock pulls a Tiger Woods. Tuesday's gossip roundup checks in and out.

[Celebrated actress Demi Moore being celebrated at the Today Show early this morn; image via INF]

She has to costar in a movie with Miley Cyrus first, though. Did Amy Winehouse's boobs spring another leak? Jersey Shore gets banned from clubs. Wizard of Oz's coroner munchkin dies. Saturday's gossip roundup defies belief.

As the wife of a man she refers to as "The King of Twitter," Demi Moore knows a thing or two about social media. You know who doesn't? Jay Leno. Luckily for Jay, she was willing to help educate him.

"Mother-daughter stripper pole" is a phrase you don't hear often for a reason. Gwyneth Paltrow spends time with another male musician. Howard Stern makes fun of Gabourey Sidibe. Vigilante sorority closes in on Roethlisberger. Wednesday gossip crosses the line.

Carey Mulligan won't let Shia drink. Russell Simmons lets slip he's got a huge dick. Mo'Nique acts like a diva. Mariah Carey acts like her spanx has cut off circulation to her brain. Sunday gossip has Oscars fever.

Did Brangelina's presence make the Saints win, or was it Kim Kardashian's tight end? Beyonce falls during a concert, Dr. Murray makes a creepy visit to Jacko's tomb, Carrie Prejean gets engaged. Monday gossip is done preserving its purity.

Paparazzi pictures of 300 stud Gerard Butler looking all fat in Barbados have everyone in a tizzy. Finally it seems male celebrities will be held to the same impossible body standards as their female counterparts. Thank God.

For a former child star, Soleil Moon Frye has done some very impressive networking. Her celebrity buddies in Hollywood have kept the 1980s actress in the media spotlight. But she's also insinuated herself atop the Silicon Valley power structure.

• You know that New York's crime rate is at an all-time low (or it's just a really slow news week) when NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly injects himself into any investigation involving Jon Gosselin that doesn't include the reality TV trainwreck's murder. Kelly says the NYPD has yet to determine whether someone really ransacked Jon Gosselin's Upper West Side apartment last weekend, or if it was just a big publicity stunt carried out by Gosselin and/or girlfriend Hailey Glassman. But the investigation continues, he says, so rest assured a few more of your tax dollars will be spent getting to the bottom of things. [NYDN]
• The call that Charlie Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller, made to 911 on Christmas Day has been released. According to a one report, the couple's argument—in which Sheen allegedly pulled out a knife and said he'd kill her, thus landing him in the clink—was all over a Christmas present. [People, Us, E!]
• You knew Michael Lohan wasn't the world's best father or ex-husband. But he sounds like a pretty horrific fiancé, too. In newly filed court documents, Michael Lohan's ex, Erin Muller, says Lindsay Lohan's dad repeatedly abused her during their relationship, once beat her up for having a male friend on Facebook, and even kicked her "in the vagina" on one occasion. [TMZ]

Someone dares invoke the earth-shattering wrath of Demi Moore by calling the ageless aged? Indeed! PageSix got porn-y. Sheriff TMZ's busting Maria Shriver and Lil' Wayne. Courtney Love, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin: still suck. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

• Jake Gyllenhaal just split up with Reese Witherspoon. Has he already moved on with Anne Hathaway? That's what the National Enquirer is suggesting. So it could be true, but it could also be totally made up. [ShowbizSpy]
• In other Anne Hathaway news, it turns out the guy who crashed his bike into the car she was sitting in earlier this week was a paparazzo. [AP]
• Demi Moore posted a pic of herself to Twitter—it was an outtake from a recent Harper's Bazaar photo shoot—and fellow Twitter users unleashed their wrath, suggesting the photos had been Photoshopped and telling her she looked old. "I'm 47. How am I supposed to look?" she responded. This actually makes us feel a bit bad for Demi, which isn't something that happens very often. [Us]
• "Snooki" (Nicole Polizzi) from MTV's Jersey Shore has been fired from her receptionist job for taking time off to go to LA to promote the show. (She's not too broken up about it. She got to hang out with Kristin Cavallari while she was there, so it was totally worth it.) In other Snooki news, the guy who punched her in the face on the show, a scene MTV censored, says he's sorry. [NYDN, Us]