Avid Weiner-watchers in the press jumped on a Friday evening report that police in New Castle, Del. were investigating the online communication between Rep. Anthony Weiner (D - N.Y.) and a 17-year-old high school junior.

Elena Kagan's act of civic responsibility last week has been overshadowed already: Joe Biden is showing up for local jury selection, too, in Delaware today. Hopefully he makes the jury and shouts "That guy is SO guilty!" throughout the trial.

John Wheeler, the defense contractor who served in three Republican presidential administrations and was found dead in a landfill on New Year's Eve, was acting crazy before his death — and may have tried to burn his neighbor's house down.

Christine O'Donnell will file amendments to all the campaign finance reports her campaign filed during the 2009-2010 election cycle, a lawyer for the failed Delaware Republican Senate candidate wrote in a letter to the Federal Election Commission.

The body of John Wheeler, a Vietnam veteran and presidential aide to Ronald Reagan and both Bushes, "was found dead in a landfill a few miles from his New Castle, Delaware home this weekend." Police have ruled it a homicide.

This supposed FBI probe into Christine O'Donnell's campaign finances is the best thing that ever happened to her! It gets her back on teevee, see, to describe the cabal of George Soros and Joe Biden loyalists working to destroy her.

The Feds are coming down hard on ol' Christine O'Donnell, the failed Delaware Senate candidate. The FBI has allegedly opened a criminal probe into the dingbat witch over whether she used campaign funds for personal expenses. Why so sexist, FBI?

You lose the Delaware Senate race. Christine O'Donnell—the Delaware Republican Senate candidate who declared, "I am you"—lost to Democrat Chris Coons. Thank God this is the last time we'll ever see or hear about Christine O'Donnell, ever.

Christine O'Donnell produced a fancy 30-minute campaign ad. Unfortunately, she forgot to buy air time in advance, and can't seem to get it on TV. Now she's tweeting angrily about how Delaware public access television is out to get her.

Think Christine O'Donnell's Delaware Senate campaign is scared of the media amplifying her every word for delicious mockery? Because apparently her campaign manager threatened to "crush" a Delaware radio station in court if they, uh, posted an interview tape online.

"Debate Madness Week" continued this morning with another battle between Delaware's Christine O'Donnell and Chris Coons. Coons only had to recite the damn First Amendment to O'Donnell, to prove that religious freedom is established within it. O'Donnell still looked skeptical!

Tonight, the entire world was riveted by the latest chapter in a disaster that has unfolded in front of cable news cameras for weeks. Christine O'Donnell's candidacy! Tonight O'Donnell and her Democratic Delaware Senate opponent debated live on CNN.

A gossipy new Christine O'Donnell profile investigates the men in her life—from the lawyer who bought her a house and frequently spent the night ("the walls upstairs are very thin") to her new male roommate: a Christian rocker.

Christine O'Donnell, Delaware's constantly masturbating hobbit-witch and Senate candidate, has an attack ad out! It calls her opponent "The Taxman," zing. It also channels one of this summer's top viral videos, the "Bed Intruder Song." What the hell?

While Christine O'Donnell continues to reassure us that she's not a witch, her friends are creating new campaign ads for her—like this one, a faux movie trailer vilifying her opponent as the "Tax Man," and referencing Antoine Dodson.

Why are the Democrats facing 13 tough Senate races this November? Who, exactly, are the Republican candidates challenging mainstays like Harry Reid? Well, some of them are psychotic, and, last night, Jon Stewart explained. That—and a Delaware bonus!—inside.

Somehow Christine O'Donnell, constantly masturbating hobbit-witch and Delaware Senate candidate, is sliding further, as two new polls show her trailing by 17 and 19 percentage points. It's probably related to the month-long national mockery of her, which has been fun.

So Christine O'Donnell told voters in her first campaign ad that "I'm You." Snappy slogan! How could her opponent's supporters respond to that? With this, obviously: "You Are Not Me." Now Delaware's Senate race is just a strange identity crisis.

Christine O'Donnell's first TV ad just hit the web, and it's a doozy. The first line of it? "I'm not a witch." Seriously! O'Donnell then goes on to say, "I'm you," and, "None of us are perfect." HAH. Watch inside.

Constantly masturbating hobbit-witch Christine O'Donnell, Delaware Senate candidate, knows all too much about China, and she doesn't trust them one lick. During a primary debate for her 2006 Senate run, for example, she warned: "They've got something up their sleeve."