While our reports of on-set mishaps are generally limited to the greater Los Angeles area, we are happy to field such dispatches from our far-flung operatives whenever the export of Hollywood's movie magic disrupts their workdays. A pair of Chicago-based tipsters have let us know about a fire that broke out on the Windy City location shoot of upcoming Batman sequel The Dark Knight:
We turn to CNN.com's cherished Story Highlights box to get us up to speed on exactly where we stand in the public celebrity-parenting clinic currently being offered by Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger: The actress, says her rep, did not release the voicemail (which they'll also have you know was not sealed under a court order, as previously claimed by Baldwin), a strategic denial that clearly sets up embattled daughter Ireland for the eventual fall. (Under the the duress of cross-examination in their next custody hearing, we expect her to crumble and reveal she chose TMZ for the leaks because she loves looking at video of Scarlett Johansson falling down.) To our knowledge, Baldwin has yet to issue a counter-statement detailing the parental alienation he feels as a result of this latest Basinger volley.
The MTV Movie Awards (The Oscars of the 17-22 Demographic™) has wisely contracted director Brett Ratner, the accomplished cinematic parodist whose feature-length works are uproarious, pitch-perfect send-ups of blockbuster-producing genres like the buddy film and the summer superhero flick, to publicize a just-announced contest soliciting user-generated spoofs of their favorite Hollywood fare using a variety of pre-cleared clips and music. To get prospective entrants in the spirit of the competition, Ratner has provided his own satirical short, in which he and longtime, English-challenged collaborator Jackie Chan simulate a pitch meeting for X-Men 4, a flight of comedic fancy rendered surprisingly poignant when one remembers that it was Ratner's hilarious X:Men: The Last Stand installment that brought the beloved franchise to an abrupt end.
· Karl Rove hates the environment so much that he refuses to be touched by Sheryl Crow. We bet the license plate on his Hummer says "SUCK IT."
· What does 'The Bachelor' say about women? How about, "I am an attention whore willing to pretend I'd consider marrying someone I just met in exchange for some fleeting, ultimately worthless TV exposure?"
· If you're a fan of Laguna Beach, these photos are disturbing. If not, they're just some pictures of a couple of jackasses with a revolver and a bottle of vodka.
· Never has the purchase of three dozen Fun Rubber Duck Duckie Ducks seemed so chilling.
It's been a full decade since 90's sitcom staple Ellen did the nearly unthinkable, outing its star and protagonist to the world as co-stars Joely Fisher and a husky, pre-laser-depilated Jeremy Piven were left to pick up the lesbian-punchline pieces. The groundbreaking two-parter co-starred Laura Dern as Ellen's romantic interest. Sadly, their climactic liplock would also turn out to be the kiss of career death:
A little more than a year ago, two bored assistants with a credit card, a great idea, and a crazy dream that every attractive assistant in town should be assigned a numerical ranking so low that he or she'd begin to question the looks that got him or her a job in the first place, launched Hollywood's Hottest Assistants, a site that momentarily brought the workday output of the call-rolling class to an absolute standstill. In yesterday's LAT, one of HHA.com's founding troublemakers reminisces about his creation's meteoric rise and fall:
· Music round-up: Iggy Pop and the Stooges at the Wiltern, The Oohlahs at the Troubadour; Rosie Thomas at the Hotel Café; Wires on Fire at the Silverlake Lounge.
· The Academy's "Great to be Nominated" series of Best Picture also-ran screenings celebrates the 30th anniversary of Star Wars tonight, including a post-screening panel with George Lucas, who'll be happy to detail his plans to give Luke Skywalker a CGI handlebar mustache on an upcoming special edition DVD because he was never really satisfied with his original vision of the hero's facial hair. [via flavorpill]
· The Museum of Radio and TV hosts an advance showing of Ken Burns' World War II doc The War, allowing you to get a sneak preview of the exhaustive history lesson that won't be available on PBS for months.
An operative on the Fox lot just dropped us a few pictures of the Earth Day celebration he was beckoned to on his lunch break touting his proud, environmentally responsible employer's efforts to "go green." Apparently, the notice about today's event didn't reach the owner of this Hummer parked in front of an executive office building, as he had yet to joy-ride his defiant monument to fuel-inefficient luxury through the festival, crushing its eco-pansy booths about hybrid vehicles and conservation beneath its tires at the time these photos were taken.
Many were confounded by the character of Zach on Heroes, the cheerleader's best friend who seemed to be inching out of the closet, but who abruptly disappeared from the series without ever uttering the magic words. After Elton then elicited an official statement from NBC saying he was "not gay," leaving the world scratching their heads at what straight guy would list Priscilla Queen of the Desert as his favorite movie on his fake MySpace page, to say nothing of accompanying the homecoming queen to prom without once ever trying to get all up in her taffeta. Talking to the PopGurls blog, co-EP Bryan Fuller explains the behind-the-scenes power struggle that led to the last minute straightwashing of the popular character:
· Warner Bros. is in talks with American Ferrara, Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel to reprise their roles in a much-clamored for sequel to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which will finally provide some answers to the many unanswered, peripatetic-jeans-related questions posed by the original. [Variety]
· But wait! Scandal! THR says that Ferrara, whose Ugly Betty stardom has made her outgrow her humble, traveling pants beginnings, is being forced back into the project by a sequel option. [THR]
· Warner Bros. buys the feature remake rights to the documentary Our Brand Is Crisis, about how James Carville's political consulting firm helped changed the course of the 2002 Bolivian presidential election, for George Clooney's Smoke House shingle to produce as one of the smallish directing and/or starring vehicles in which the actor likes to dabble between Ocean's 11 sequels. [Variety]
· ABC wins Sunday night despite Desperate Housewives hitting an all-time viewership low. Time to kill off Eva Longoria during sweeps? Probably couldn't hurt! [THR]
· Lindsay Lohan loses her job in the Dylan Thomas biopic The Best Time of Our Lives to Sienna Miller, whose inevitable tabloid misadventures will probably be somewhat less damaging to the production than Lohan's. [Variety]
Babysnatching do-gooder Madonna's recently returned to Malawi to tour the sites of her various philanthropic projects there, but also on the itinerary was a scheduled reunion between absconded toddler David Banda and his biological father, Yohane—a meeting, Yohane told a reporter from Us Magazine recently, that would never come to pass:
Given that the first two Spider-Man movies made Sony about $1.6 billion at the worldwide box office, it probably surprises no one to learn that the studio's relentless pursuit of another huge summer run may have resulted in the third installment becoming The Most! Expensive! Movie! Ever! Made! Still, even if the $350 million number (throw in marketing and promotion and we're at half a billion) passed along in Kim Masters' Radar story on Spider-Man 3's historic, budget-busting run are, is claimed by a flack, a "complete fabrication," the real amount is still big enough to choke even its free-spending producer:
When even Rich Little has to admit this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner could have used a marquee act with some edge ("It's a little bit of a hard room. Next year, they may go back to someone a little more biting," the cuddly, Carson-era impressionist said shortly after bombing to a packed D.C. Hilton ballroom), it fell, as we predicted, to People magazine's guest of honor Sanjaya Malakar to inject the proceedings with a little watercooler-worthy pizzazz. Looking dashing in a blue pinstriped suit and chunky highlights Valerie Plame would kill for, Malakar greeted his throngs of admirers (including a gushing Governor Eliot Spitzer), as lesser celebrity entities at the People table—Valerie Bertinelli, Zac Efron (ask your teenage daughter or new AOL chat room friend), Eddie Izzard, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and Project Runway's Tim Gunn—simply looked on in astonishment. Gunn describes the scene to his blogging boss Andy Cohen, in a post discomfortingly titled, "Sir Tim Does DC and Sanjaya!":
Our nightmarish vision of a post-agency-relocation Century City mall food court clotted with lunching, nattily attired drones left with no recourse by the dearth of local culinary options but a hastily devoured Fuddruckers baby-burger, it seems, has fully come to pass: Today's LAT looks at the turf war raging between new CC residents CAA and ICM, who have quickly made their presence felt on their neighborhood's lunchtime scene:
Dive right in to the weekend box office numbers, a refreshing break from the fresh hell represented by the beginning of yet another soul-crushing work week:
· Sanjaya: The moment of truth. The fallout. Mr. Malakar goes to Washington. This makes up for the Gere thing. The entourage-equipped Fox meeting!
· Missing family phone time really sticks in Alec Baldwin's craw. But he can explain.
· Larrylynn glows on the cover of OK!
· Richard Gere gets a mouthful of Bollybabe, infuriating the masses.
· Career masochist Leslie Sloane Zelnick ads Britney Spears to her roster.
· From here on out, "LaBeouf. Is." will precede every single-monicker action hero movie title.
· Sahara writes off $833,923 for Matthew McConaughey's hallucinatory "perks."
· Pope Jake the Hottie addresses his worshippers.
· Ed Norton is ready for some superhero money.
· "Make it a Campari and so-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-da."
· T.R. Knight still putting the pieces back together, while Isaiah Washington moves forward, one molested-priest project at a time.
· Some may call it nepotism. We just call it one hilariously foul-mouthed baby.
· Frank Darabont is pretty sure George Lucas has psychological problems.
· Phil Spector's prospective jury pool warned to leave their headshots at home, think the guy's guilty.
· The Birds: A message movie.
· Apprentice firee Kristin Lefebvre is headed to Playboy. We were kind of hoping they'd get Heidi, but we suppose this will do for now.
· Chuck Woolery has no choice but to drop the f-bomb. [via BWE]
· L.A.'s Dopest Attorney gets a development deal. Happy 420 Day!
· Courtney Love shakes a debilitating perfection addiction.
[Note: We moved the video after the jump because of its annoying tendency to autostart each time our home page was reloaded.] While Alec Baldwin has yet to publicly comment on the leak of yet another troubling phone call, we expect that he'll address this newest parenting controversy on his website shortly, explaining that everyone who knows him privately knows what he's endured over the last several years in his custody litigation, and knows that there are certain people who will go any any lengths to embarrass him, disrupt his relationship with Dora the Explorer, and prevent him from sharing in her many wonderful animated adventures.
