In The End, Val Kilmer Would Pinch A Loaf, And Order Would Be Restored To A Tense Set
The peace of a quiet Echo Park household was shattered early this morning, when a harried representative of a local movie shoot came bearing news of an emergency unfolding on the the nearby set of Columbus Day: Val Kilmer, the frantic crew member would reveal, had no place to poop. Reports TMZ:
The residents were supposed to move their cars off the street. The wife of a TMZ staffer was at home, taking care of her one-year-old child when she heard banging at the front door. A woman named Kelli Lassen told the staffer's wife, "You need to move your f**king car because we need to park the toilets for the Val Kilmer movie." Nice.
We contacted Lassen, who at first denied saying it, then said she was reacting to a man in a nearby apartment who wouldn't move his car. She said she called that man a "f**king asshole" and then acknowledged she got hot with the staffer's wife.
Lassen apologized for her outburst, but added, "Val Kilmer can't even use the bathroom."
To her credit, the movie's Prophet of Impending Port-a-Potty Doom apologized for the incident, but it's ultimately difficult to blame her for her shortness with the TMZ staffer's wife; one can only imagine the enormous pressure she was under to oversee the installation of the mobile commodes before the notoriously difficult Kilmer could discover the failure to establish a comfortable place in which he could move his bowels, as they could've lost an entire day of shooting as the actor sulked around the set, complaining to anyone within earshot, "I can't create under these conditions! Who's a guy got to blow around here to take a fucking dump?"
