· As a disappointing™ Sundance limps towards the finish line, buyers are proving immune to the charms of Big Name Stars like Robert DeNiro and Tom Hanks, whose films (What Just Happened and The Great Buck Howard) have "held all of the appeal of three-day-old fish." [Variety]
· Sundance? More like Stunned'dance, quips the Reporter as the sound of a rimshot slowly fades into the eerie quiet of Park City's Main Street. Are we right, ladies? [THR]
· Universal signs Atonement's Joe Wright, red-hot from seven Oscar nominations (though not one for directing; thanks, Jason Reitman!) to a two-picture deal. [Variety]
[After the jump: Marvel and the WGA make nice on an interim basis; Disney tries to squeeze even more money out of the Toy Story franchise.]

Breaking news: A fire has erupted on the top floors of the Monte Carlo in Vegas. "The three-alarm fire, which began just before 11 a.m., was spreading from the center section of the hotel across the roof line. Flames and plumes of black smoke could be seen on what appeared to a west-facing rooftop of the resort." The building has been evacuated, and no injuries have been reported. Insert lazy joke about it being the most flaming thing in Vegas since Siegfried & Roy ruled The Mirage, and let's call it a day. [LAT]

Attached, Gawker videographer Alexander Goldberg and Defamer videographer Molly McAleer explore the murky limits of bad taste while discussing the coverage (of the coverage of the coverage) of Heath Ledger's death. You will be edified. There will be tears. [Previously]

Hey, you remember those Annie Leibovitz Disney Dream Portraits featuring your favorite stars in classic scenes from Disney animated movies? Well, there's a whole new batch of them, including JLo and March Anthony as Princess Jasmine and Aladdin, Jessica Biehl as Pocahontas, Tiny Fey as Tinker Bell, and Judah Friedlander as the Walrus from Alice in Wonderland! OK, maybe not that last one. [Just Jared]

The critics have spoken: Rambo is the nauseatingly brutal, 2.59-gruesome-kills-per-minute, Burmese-missionary-eviscerating, desperation-comeback-vehicle thrill-ride of the late-January moviegoing season! "Stunningly, unrelenting violent," declares the Dallas Morning News! "[A]n adrenaline pump and purveyor of raw carnage[!!!]," raves the Philadelphia Inquirer.

We must admit, for a reality show we initially wrote off as being pointless and shamelessly derivative, Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel has us by the throats. We'll watch some episodes two, three, 17 times. It's also the rare reality show we insist on watching alone. Go figure! With that surfer/D.J. creep Dominic sent packing by America last night, mumbling something about how ill-fitting shoes have cost him his shot at male supermodel greatness, we could finally get down to brass tacks:

This morning in official denials of inaccurate reports emerging in the wake of Heath Ledger's untimely death: "Absolutely at no time are we going to be interviewing her. We never had any plans to interview her. At this point we are just waiting for the Medical Examiner's report," says the NYPD in response to a story that they intended to lock Mary-Kate Olsen in an interrogation room lit only by a single, flickering lightbulb until she revealed all the secrets of her phone calls with the 911-bypassing masseuse who discovered the actor's body. "[A] complete crock of s[hit]," hisses the oft-embattled publicist for Mel Gibson, annoyed about an item spuriously claiming that Gibson is anti-gay-cowboy, and "turned cold" towards Ledger for ignoring his allegedly terrible career advice about turning down Brokeback Mountain. [People, Rush & Molloy]

Lionsgate, the plucky indie studio who mined the untold box office potential of film franchises featuring a creepy marionette on a tricycle and an equally creepy actor in grandma drag, has forged its own side deal with the WGA:

Late yesterday, we expressed some healthy skepticism about x17online's claim that an "inside source" had exclusively—exclusively!—revealed to them that Angelina Jolie, in her latest extravagant act of generosity to a world desperately in need of the salvation that only her womb can provide, had decided to become pregnant with twins, providing Chosen One Shiloh with the much-needed back-up the genetically perfect, anointed toddler will need to carry out her future missions of mercy across the globe.

Many of our readers are probably too young to remember this, but there was a time, at the turn of '90s, when rapidly calcifying action star Sylvester Stallone and trap-jawed she-ninja Janice Dickinson were very much in love. It all ended badly, with a Versace catwalkside showdown after Sly learned the paternity of their supposed love child belonged to another man, leaving a shattered Dickinson sobbing into an oversized shoulder pad as she realized he was never coming back. Earlier this month, the modeling agency owner joined Fox News's Red Eye, where she said, "He juiced me. I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye - steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone], 'Hey, it's not that good 'cause you get really big, you know what I mean?" Stallone addressed the allegations on Howard Stern's show yesterday:

· The only way that Casey Affleck could've been more adorable on Oprah would have been to do his interview while completely covered in newborn kittens wearing tiny cowboy hats.
· Actress Dani Miura tells LAist about what it's like to work as To Catch A Predator's pedophile-bait.
· Real therapists lament the media's obsession with inaccurately diagnosing Britney Spears' mental problems when a simple, effective "batshit insane" would get the job done without sullying their field.
· The Daily Show and Colbert Report's writers went to Washington to fill in Congress on this whole strike deal: "'I ask you,' one writer noted, 'which is more important to a movie — a script, or half of Reese Witherspoon?'" The studio suits thought for a second. 'Which half?'"

Say what you will about Kathleen Turner—she gives good memoir. We're still reeling from her anecdote about Anthony Perkins' habit of sneaking a little whiff of poppers before every shot (though it did shed some light on that scene in Psycho III, where, apropos of nothing, Norman Bates starts making out with a taxidermied racoon). But it's her claims about Nicolas Cage being a drunk driver and convicted dognapping felon that seem to have caused the biggest stir since excerpts of her upcoming autobiography were leaked. Today, a spokesperson issued us this heartfelt statement from the National Treasure star:

Though the 23 million or so viewers who stuck around after American Idol to check out the series premiere of The Moment of Truth surely provided all the validation he needed, Fox president of the Dark Alternative Programming Arts Mike Darnell has been reveling in the critical scorn heaped upon his lie-detecting masterwork, knowing from experience that such an outpouring of vitriol probably means he has a huge hit on his hands. Pausing briefly from the celebratory soak in his office's Cristal-filled Jacuzzi he'd been enjoying since the release of this morning's preliminary Nielsen numbers, Darnell spoke to TV Week about Truth, acknowledging complaints about the debut episode's sluggish pacing (they're working on it!), and pledging that future installments of the show will deliver all the deception-induced human misery a rubbernecking, TV-watching nation can handle:

Danny Glover was convicted for trespassing on a Niagara Falls Sheraton, after having taken part in a 2006 protest for UNITE HERE, a union dedicated to increasing "salaries and improve working conditions for hotel workers in the U.S. and Canada." With sentencing set for February 8, Glover only offered that he would "gladly self-immolate on behalf of my bellhop brothers and chambermaid sisters." [AP]

· Music round-up: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at The Keyclub; Sia at Amoeba, Ingrid Michaelson at the Troubadour.
· Poet (and recent first-time novelist) Susan Wheeler tonight joins UCLA professor Stephen Yenser's series of readings at the Hammer.
· Jessica Chafin and Jamie Denbo ("Ronna Glickman" and "Beverly Kahn," respectively ) host Ronna & Beverly's All Jew Revue at the UCB Theatre.

Reluctant as we are to fall headlong into the gurgling, powder-scented embrace of any celebrity baby news delivered to us Xclusively by the suspicious-item blogging arm of international paparazzi outfit X17, their report that globe-traipsing orphanologist Angelina Jolie is heavy with not one but two biological offspring (Brad Pitt's two-headed fish can swim!) seemed to us almost too exciting a possibly-true story not to pass along to our readers:

We finally got news today that husky-voiced and healthy-racked Scarlett Johansson's debut album will drop in May. The album will feature ten covers from the Tom Waits canon, in addition to one other song that we're REALLY hoping isn't "Just Like Honey." Unfortch for Camp ScarJo, the results of a recent United States Weekly poll seem to indicate the general public is even less interested in buying this record than they were about electing Fred Thompson to the presidency. Sounds like someone could use some of that James Carville magic right about now ... CAJUN STYLE! [US Magazine]

Though widely vilified by those sympathetic to the WGA cause, AMPTP president Nick Counter has been doing groundbreaking work on behalf of the endangered Mountain Gorillas of Central Africa, embarking on a tireless quest to save the the species from extinction that often places him in grave danger. Shadowy blogspot truth-teller Bachem Machuno (of onetime Agents Can Eat My Ass Out Like Hungry Bears fame) has returned from a long hiatus to share Counter's story with Hollywood, hoping to humanize a man often so often unfairly depicted as a crow-riding bogeyman: "Counter's strategy in the case of the Mountain Gorilla was straightforward: herd them into an enclosed area, and wait. Whether it took weeks, or months, or entire seasons. Let them starve and turn on each other; only then will the strongest and most capable of them survive and contribute to a strong gene pool going forward." [nickcounterfanclub.blogspot.com]

Tasked with tackling the latest developments in the Heath Ledger story, perhaps the most delicate Hot Topic they've ever been confronted with, the ladies of The View today acquitted themselves with the refreshing mix of humor, sensitivity and insight that has made their program the one we turn to first to help us digest the day's news.

We want to feel bad for Eddie Murphy's ex Tracey Edmonds after hearing about Murphy's "bossy and physically intimidating" behavior just before his recently canceled nuptials, but really? Any girl worth her hair extensions should know by now that Eddie isn't exactly the fuzzy wuzzy teddy bear type, all gung-ho about treating his women right. And by "his women," we certainly don't mean Mama Murphy, who the former funnyman insisted accompany the pair on their honeymoon. Um, a momma's boy and a domestic-abuse-case waiting to happen? Splitting was the wise choice, Tracey! Now all you've gotta do is hang tight until that other Tracy (Morgan) officially hits the market. [NY Post]