Second Exclusive Claims Insider Knowledge Of Angelina Jolie's Super-Secret Twins Pregnancy
Late yesterday, we expressed some healthy skepticism about x17online's claim that an "inside source" had exclusively—exclusively!—revealed to them that Angelina Jolie, in her latest extravagant act of generosity to a world desperately in need of the salvation that only her womb can provide, had decided to become pregnant with twins, providing Chosen One Shiloh with the much-needed back-up the genetically perfect, anointed toddler will need to carry out her future missions of mercy across the globe.
Now, a second outlet has come forward with exclusive news about the status of Jolie's uterus, as a source "very close" to the actress tells the always-reliable Star about the double-blessing. Still, even with this parallel report of these impending biological additions to the already-overpopulated Jolie-Pitt clan (clearly, Brad has thumbed his nose at Larry King's concern that he's going a little overboard on the kid front), we urge infirm worshipers to put off their curative pilgrimages to the gates of the couple's estate until the story trickles upwards into the pages of People and Us Weekly, who'll likely receive official confirmation in exchange for promising to donate the proceeds generated by their blockbuster BRAD & ANG: WE'RE HAVING TWINS! cover story to the construction of a Pax Thien Wing for the Vietnamese orphanage that provided their last adoptee.