Paul Sorvino, the director of The Trouble with Cali, which just shot in Scranton "Home of The Office" PA, is in the hot seat for cost overruns on the production. A 95-page general ledger provided to the Lackawanna County commissioners, said the crew spent "$400 to pay for traffic violations, $3,500 for credit card late fees, nearly $39,000 for meals, and more than $575 for alchoholic 'office refreshments,'" and that Sorvino "received thousands of dollars more than he previously said they would." Sorvino countered that the tickets and other payments were unforeseen expenses and nothing out of the ordinary, and that his $16,889.93 salary and additional $10,144 in reimbursements were nothing compared to the "$200,000 of my own money" he already invested into the movie. We throw this one out to the budgeting experts among us—does any of this seem fishy? [thetimes-tribune]

We've made little secret of our fascination with the star loaf-making process—when celebrity magazines turn to top-secret, cutting-edge technology called "Photoshop" to combine the best features of the world's biggest stars into one, blended überstar. The UK's Daily Mail has gone positively star loaf crazy, throwing together three of the top female personalities, and five of the world's most famous men, to create the bombshell pictured above and her dreamboat companion. Before peeking—can you name all eight? [Daily Mail]

· If the concept of the two names Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher (Tyrashton?) melding into a single, reality-TV -producing force for ABC would drive you to incontinence with excitement, well, maybe you should take a bathroom break before reading this story. [THR]
· Quarterlife, the drama from the creators of thirtysomething that started as a pilot at ABC, then got resuscitated for MySpace, and finally was resurrected on NBC, tanked last night, posting a 1.6 rating/4 share. The series about "twentysomethings coming of age in the digital generation" was doomed to be outdated before it ever reached a wide audience, already replaced with far more timely takes on the same material, like ABC's mid-season replacement, Tumblr Road. [Variety]

Because we here at Defamer are always willing to do our part to dispel myths, hoaxes, and pretty obviously arranged comedy bits on late night TV, we now reach deep into the "Yo Defamer — WTF???" submission box hanging outside HQ, and fish out an index card dropped by one of our confounded readers:

There's been a veritable outbreak, as of late, of leaked sex tapes and nude pics from a cornucopia of celebs. The released-without-consent sex tape is now officially a rite of passage for every young starlet and aging once-famous dude. And the Lohan/Monroe nude-photo extravaganza has proved what young female celebs have always told themselves: it's OK to be naked as long as it's classy or serious. What does it all mean? Is the sex tape/naked pic a career-starter or career-killer? And, more importantly, do we want? We explain the rules!

Week Two of American Idol competition trotted out the boy competitors once more before the Randy/Paula/Simon firing squad, with the ascendancy of teen idol prodigy David Archuleta a seemingly foregone conclusion: Producers left his interpretation of "Imagine" to the end of the broadcast, knowing no one in their right minds would tune out before hearing him sing. He nailed it, and probably the entire season while he was at it, sending a blubbery Paula Abdul on a fruitless quest for the words to express how this 17-year-old wunderkind had restored her faith in humanity. (It came off as something about wanting to rip his head off and hang the bloody trophy from her rear view mirror, though we think her heart was in the right place.) To keep things interesting, however, we thought we'd focus instead on the minor scandals erupting around some of the other contestants. Last year around this time, Antonella Barba toilet photos rocked a nation. This year, so far, the scandals are relegated to the men:

One would think that, by now, there would be no more room on the OMG BRITNEY DID ANOTHER CRAZY THING belt. However, this week's Star cover story proves that there is still plenty of space on said belt for another notch or thirty. The rag claims that Britney is pregnant once again with none other than paparazzo-turned-paramour Adnan Ghalib's baby. Yawn! Their evidence? A few pictures of Britney's bloated belly and a sketchy (at best) quote from a member of Ghalib's press-hungry posse who exults that Adnan will "be made for life" if the story proves to be true. Don't hold your breath, homes; we've been down this path a handful of times over the last two months.

Step Up, the "you got your hip-hop chocolate in my classically trained ballet peanut butter!" teen dance movie, and its sequel, Step Up 2: The Streets, have both done brisk business at the box office, so its not surprising that another sequel should already be in the works. But while we feared that their choice to go the alphanumeric pun-title route would perhaps limit the third installment creatively (a lively spitballing session from our beloved commenters threw out such possibilities as Step Up 3 Men and a Little Lady and Step Up 3 Days of the Condor), never once did the most obvious possibility occur to us: Step Up 3-D!

· "If I could bottle the sexual tension between Bonnie Franklin and Schneider, I could solve the energy crisis." At least that's what Troy Dyer said while watching a One Day At A Time re-run in the seminal Gen X opus Reality Bites. We can only imagine how depressed he would've become at the sight of a menopausal Bonnie Franklin. Even worse would've been the look on his face after seeing the visage of the now irascible Schneider sans his trademark pencil-thin pornstache. Reunions ain't always what they're cracked up to be. However, we think he would've gotten a good chuckle from Arnold Drummond's surprise appearance on the set.
· The next time you make your way to Jupiter, Florida, be sure and stop at the Burt Reynolds Museum! We hear that the cryogenically frozen corpses of his Cannonball Run co-stars, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr, are worth the trip in and of themselves. [Burt Reynolds Museum]
· Everybody's favorite underage film critic, Sexman, is back with a brand new review of Jumper ("It sucked. It sucked major. Rambo 3 was better than that piece of shit.") This goes without saying, but if you are related to Hayden Christensen, you won't want to watch this. [YouTube]
· We stopped watching Fox's Moment Of Truth after two episodes, mainly because it failed to be as sadistically voyeuristic as we had been led to believe. Looks like we stopped watching too early! [Vulture]

Great news for aspiring actors residing in the greater Pittsburgh area who just so happen to also be inbred: A casting notice for Julianne Moore thriller Shelter seeks background players to play the famed deformed mountain folk of West Virginia. Or, as they put it, "Extraordinarily tall or short. Unusual body shapes, even physical abnormalities as long as there is normal mobility. Unusual facial features, especially eyes... 9-12-year-old Caucasian girl with an other-worldly look to her...Could be an albino or something along those lines — she's someone who is visually different and therefore has a closer contact to the gods and to magic. 'Regular-looking' children should not attend this open call.'" [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]

If you've not yet heard the tale of the Buffalo news crew Oscar night gaffe, it goes something like this: Shortly after Best Director was announced, a technical mess-up caused the audio of a conversation between a local ABC news team to be broadcast to the general public. It's the content of that exchange, warranting a statement of apology from the network, that is truly hilarious. But we'll allow you to discover that on your own, in the footage above. Once you're done watching, we invite you to provide your own dismissive, nine-word synopses of any of this year's nominees.

Paris Hilton is not going to just stand by idly while the likes of Lo Conrad and her posse of entitled Hills chickettes steal all of her thunder. The lazy-eyed heiress is returning to the reality television fold in a yet-to-be-named project from Ish Entertainment, the production company recently founded by former Vh1 reality show maestro Michael Hirschorn. The show will revolve around Paris Hilton's attempts to comb through a gaggle of camera-ready twentysomethings an attempt to find a new "best friend" (read: someone who she'll gladly appear with for a few reunion show photo opps and then promptly never call again). But wait, that's not all! In a move likely prompted by being repeatedly passed over by magazine editors in favor of her spawning friends, Paris is desperately trying to reignite her fading star (a la Sunshine) by, you guessed it, strutting around town with a new boytoy on her arm.

Industry drones filing into their offices this morning were greeted with not quite your run-of-the-mill THR cover, but rather the somewhat startling, full-color image above. It all comes courtesy of the Belvedere Vodka company, as envisioned by photographer Terry Richardson. And while it took us a good ten minutes to figure out the connection between a trades publication, smooth spirits, and a Mischa Barton-esque woman reapplying lipstick shortly after having made acquaintance with an unidentified man's crotch, it suddenly dawned on us: Now that the For Your Consideration season is over, the For Your Appreciation ads are right there to take its place.

· Celebrate the film career of David Gordon Green (mind you, not Brian Austin Green) at the Egyptian with a screening of George Washington and Q&A discussion / wine reception with the man-boy himself moderated by renowned film consultant Peter Broderick. This night kicks-off a three night event with DGG at the Egyptian. Tomorrow offers All the Real Girls, and Thursday is the world premiere of Snow Angels. [via La City Beat]
· Music to your ears: The Helio Sequence at Spaceland, Jay Farrar at the Troubadour, Missy Higgins at the El Rey.
· Director David Slade (tentative), screenwriter Brian Nelson and writer Steve Niles will be signing copies of their Harnett-fights-vampires flick 30 Days of Night at Dark Delicacies.

Never one to wile away all of his leisure hours cavorting on a custom-made bed (forget round; this thing is encased in a giant, ceiling-mounted gyroscope), septuagenarian superproducer Robert Evans is forever on the hunt for new ways to extend his brand. His partnership with Oliver Peoples sunglasses is a perfect example: Bob brings the cool, they bring the technical savvy to produce a lens that can repel the UV rays of a tanning bed strong enough to incinerate a 40-50 lb. child, and voilà— a hip new accessories line is born. Evans threw a party in its honor at his Woodland estate, and W magazine was on hand to take in the atmosphere:

Rachel Zoe, you have been replaced...by a publicist. And it's not someone younger, less raisin-faced, or (if such a thing is possible) thinner. One Marilyn Heston has emerged, far from quietly, as the go-to-fashion-publicist when designers want to dress for rising stars like Anna Friel, Away From Her director Sarah Polley, she the resume to prove it. 'Member that tighter-than-tight dress Scarlett Johansson's breasts couldn't wait to pop out of when Isaac Mizrahi couldn't wait to grab them? Credit Heston. And those memories of a young Sienna Miller being hailed as fashion's newest darling? Credit Heston as well. And since we always like to keep our readers abreast of tomorrow's names you should know, here's one: Rodo. Nope, not what the kids are calling Frodo these days, but next year's Jimmy Choo. Ya heard it here first. [NY Times]

Finding themselves without a red carpet home after their deal with TV Guide Network went south, Joan and Melissa Rivers are still pressing forward with their catty Oscar fashion quips on a site called Stylelist.com. And they're not letting their Siberian spot in cyberspace stop them from dishing out their trademark red carpet digs, which span the range from who "should be locked away" (Julie Christie) to who they believe spent "hours covered in leeches to get that pale" (Anne Hathaway). But that's not the half of it. After the jump, find out who Joan thinks looks like they were "gift-wrapped at Macy's" and who "ain't gonna score tonight."

Leaders of the writers strike declared a "huge victory" over the suits when they won a larger share of revenues from internet video. Oh yes? One of those suits, Les Moonves of CBS, says the TV network learned during the stoppage that it didn't need nearly as many expensive scripts and pilots. Explaining healthy earnings, he says: "I think there's been a lot of wasted spending...You don't need to spend $5 million on a pilot." So let's get this straight: writers traded in the traditional pilot season, the audition for their boldest ideas, for a cut of non-existent internet revenues. But don't be too harsh in judging their business acumen: this is why they're writers.

A belated notice of passing: Ben Chapman, a 6'5" former Marine best known for playing the title character in The Creature From the Black Lagoon, died Thursday of congestive heart failure in a Honolulu hospital. "The Creature suit was a one-piece outfit that zipped down the back with dorsal fins, hands that were gloves, feet that were like boots," he once told the Honolulu Observer, offering an uncannily similar description to the remains Janice Dickinson leaves behind after every skin-shedding. [LAT via WOW Report]

That Cirque Lodge in Utah sure sounds like one helluva wonder drug. After spending several weeks there attending to what TMZ claimed was a"substance abuse" problem, Eva checked out on February 7th (the same day Kiki Dunst checked in!), but was recently seen joyriding through the weekend party circuit. (Lest you forget, Ms. Mendes was once a Campari model.) But Eva's not the only Cirque alum who hasn't quite kicked whatever habit they went in there with; illustrious fellow Cirque-ers include David Hasselhoff, Mary-Kate Olsen, Richie Sambora and our favorite topless "art" model, Lindsay Lohan. So how well did each of these stellar examples of tip top health fare after leaving the Lodge, sober certificate in hand? From hamburgers to hoovering powder on the beach, the verdict is in.