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· If the concept of the two names Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher (Tyrashton?) melding into a single, reality-TV -producing force for ABC would drive you to incontinence with excitement, well, maybe you should take a bathroom break before reading this story. [THR]
· Quarterlife, the drama from the creators of thirtysomething that started as a pilot at ABC, then got resuscitated for MySpace, and finally was resurrected on NBC, tanked last night, posting a 1.6 rating/4 share. The series about "twentysomethings coming of age in the digital generation" was doomed to be outdated before it ever reached a wide audience, already replaced with far more timely takes on the same material, like ABC's mid-season replacement, Tumblr Road. [Variety]

· Les Moonves's "Suck It, Strikers—We Won!" Tour continues. The future galactic despot told investors yesterday that not only did it not affect CBS's financial bottom line, it actually helped, allowing them to slough off dead-weight development deals "in ways that will allow us to operate more efficiently going forward." [Variety]
· The Fireman's Fund Insurance Co. is offering "strike insurance" to any production currently covered under one of their policies, in anticipation of a possible SAG strike. Said Les Moonves, "We'll pass. A couple absent or dead actors could really push us into the black next quarter!" [Variety]
· Milkshake co-opting victim Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic, an offbeat romantic comedy from Killer Films. [THR]