While on his way to a London area Obama rally, David Schwimmer explained that his outfit for the evening was picked by his girlfriend, Zoe Buckman. Buckman described Schwimmer's look as being kooky and fun, and casually mentioned how much she loved bands that employed keyboardists. Schwimmer agreed and said that it was always one of his teenage dreams to look like the guy from Spandau Ballet. Buckman said that she had never heard of that band, but thought her boyfriend resembled the guy from The Killers. "But cooler!", she added on.

Less than two weeks after the close read of Jenna Jameson's mainstream effort Zombie Strippers, we suppose we can call officially call porn crossover a movement. To wit: Word about Steven Soderbergh's forthcoming project The Girlfriend Experience has been circulating for a while now, but Variety confirms today with the added news bonus that the filmmaker could be looking for an "adult film actress" for his lead. Told from the perspective of a $10,000-a-night prostitute, the story is Soderbergh's latest in the minimally-scripted, low-budget series that began in 2005 with Bubble; the title refers to interludes involving kissing and other, more romantic intimacies not generally associated with sex-for-hire.

· Look, if you're going to ask Hollywood's Favorite Crazy™ Gary Busey a question about his upcoming, 3-D horror movie, don't clutter up his head with extraneous flack-prompting. It just confuses him, and then he's forced to tear someone's endocrine system out—and nobody wants that! [Inside Edition]
· Spotted by a Defamer operative over the weekend at the LAT's Festival of Books: the singlet-sporting, love-handle-afflicted Hoboken Beach Diet Man! He even had his own booth. [Defamer]
· 60 years later, YouTube gives us access to really rare, really racist Looney Tunes cartoons. [NY Times, YouTube]
· Cher revealed to Oprah that she dated Tom Cruise for several months at the beginning of his career: "The audience burst into a frenzy of cheering and whooping, especially when she spoke of one particularly 'long night' in his arms." [news.com.au]
· Wants some cute? How about The Shins on Yo Gabba Gabba? [prn.newscom.com]

Okay, you clever SATC minxes. Your masterfully executed plan to generate press for The Most Important Movie Of The Year Century has officially come full-circle. First, Kristin Davis just happened to appear all over our computer screens being attacked by a massive Segel, then Cynthia Nixon gave a far more ladylike interview breaking the news of her former struggle with breast cancer. But today, in "Me Too!" attempts to pipe in and get their names in the papers, both Sarah Jessica "Sex Is Icky" Parker and Kim Cattrall are gabbing and blabbing about completely irrelevant and ancient stories about marriage and age-old rumors. But hearing about how SJP's marriage sucks and how Kim likes money don't really compare to inspirational disease fighters and nudie photos. Though, it is shamefully fun to hear Parker tell us once again why being married to Matthew Broderick is like riding "rather treacherous train rides":

A clever mashup from CollegeHumor.com suggests Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight—the hotly anticipated, second chapter of his radical re-envisioning of the Batman franchise for Warner Bros.—might be less of a radical re-envisioning than we might have been led to believe. Frankly, they could prove the entire thing was lifted frame-by-frame from an NYU film school thesis project, we wouldn't be any less excited about it. Dark Knight! Whooo! Movie of the summer! The side-by-side "trailers" are after the jump:

Sienna Miller, star of the upcoming big screen adaptation of G.I. Joe, attempted to hide from what she thought was going to be a swarm fans at the Coachella music festival. Yet after a few moments of being just another hipster in a sea of hipsters, Miller seemed disappointed by the lack of attention and considered walking around topless for a few moments.

Until now, most onlookers have been noting just how much little Lourdes Ciccone Leon looks like her mother, the vitamin-injecting, leg-spreading Madonna. And while she does have her mom's naturally dark hair and piercing eyes, we think the 12-year old mini-Madge looks much more like another pillow-lipped celebrity you may have heard of. Particularly when we place Lourdes' current visage next to the star-in-question's glamour shots when she was just a teenager herself:

Pictured, Harpo Productions released the first promotional image from Oprah Winfrey's much-publicized, two-part interview with Tom Cruise. Shot near the actor's vacation home in Telluride, it shows the two superstars riding a V.I.P. chairlift to the top of Cruise's private peak. (Oprah expressed concern that the only thing supporting her was a "thin metal bar," at which point Cruise wrapped an arm firmly around the talk show host and whispered, "Don't you worry. I got you. I got you tight." That in turn elicited an inexplicable laughing fit from Cruise, leading Winfrey, now afraid for her life, to reluctantly join in.) Three-quarters of the way up Mt. Hubbard, Cruise signaled to the operator, and the lift came to an abrupt stop; the Valkyrie star then eased himself onto his feet, and, a stunned Winfrey looking on, proceeded to take several flying leaps off the seat, pumping his fist into the frigid Colorado air as he shouted, "This is how I still feel about Kate, Oprah! I'm jumping 2400 feet high! That's how in love with this girl, the mother of my child and wife, now and forever, I truly am!"

· Tonight's musical options include She & Him at the Vista Theater (in case you don't know the people behind the pronouns, "She" is Zooey Deschanel and "Him" is M. Ward), Hot Chip at the Mayan Theater and Colin Meloy of Decemberists fame at the Henry Fonda.
· The Samuel Goldwyn Theater continues its hosting gig of the "It's Great To Be Nominated" series with a screening of Pulp Fiction, followed by a discussion with executive producers Richard N. Gladstein, Michael Shamberg and Stacey Sher, costume designer Betsy Heimann, editor Sally Menke, set decorator Sandy Reynolds-Wasco, actress Julia Sweeney, production designer David Wasco and casting directors Ronnie Yeskel and Gary Zuckerbrod.
· The Red Cat pays tribute to the annual Ottawa International Animation Festival by highlighting festival favorites and award-winners from the 2007 edition. We're sure there is a hockey joke in here somewhere.

Gwyneth Paltrow has finally explained what recently inspired her to drastically change her uptight, ladylike English countryside demeanor into that of a high-class hooker using flashy props like kinky boots and see-through ass-grazing dresses. You know that standard awkward adolescent phase girls go through in middle school when they start painting on their mom's lipstick and wearing mini-skirts so the boys will notice them? Well, according to a recent interview with British GQ, Gwyneth is officially going through that phase right now: "Paltrow admits she suffers from a lack of confidence...she is desperate to change her public image...'People think I'm aloof, or cold, or that I breathe rarefied air - that's not me'." So what exactly turned the former It Girl into a Debbie Downer?

While Jamie Lynn Spears may be seventeen and unmarried and pregnant, the Zoey 101 star refuses to become barefoot and pregnant. According to inside sources, Spears has found even wearing the simplest pair of flip flops to be taxing and annoying in the final days of her pregnancy, but she does not want to embody anymore clichés circling her current situation. Spears felt its bad enough that she's pregnant and unmarried, but to be barefoot as well? That would make her want to die.

Red-carpet rookie Scott Feinberg recently hit the Tribeca Film Festival's premiere of the Madonna-produced documentary I Am Because We Are, where his attempt to "question the most popular female music artist of the last thirty years" was met with a classic A-list stonewall. After voluntarily moving to the end of the press line, and after making the least of his audiences with Rosie O'Donnell and Bernadette Peters, and at that first glint of hope that maybe a $15 cab ride and all that waiting might pay off, comes the reality check: "I stick out my handheld recorder and, as she stands before me, ask the one question that I have been plotting for the entire wait—a question that I believe is of rare substance, deliberately flattering, and therefore inviting: 'Madonna! When did you first realize that you could use your celebrity for good, like you have done with this movie?' She heard me over the noise! She pauses for a split second! She opens her mouth to respond! And then... her 'handlers' guide her away." Ha! While it doesn't beat that one time we got called "white trash" at the New York premiere of Lust, Caution, we sympathize. You've gotta pay your dues, kid. [And the Winner Is]

As any celebrity knows, the lines dividing fan, superfan, stalker, and murderous stalker are often blurred; one day, you're receiving innocent, screwdriver-and-rock-filled gift bags, card attached reading, "Oh yes, we will be together, you and I. Mark my words," the next you're frantically dialing 911 to report the machete-wielding maniac standing over your bed and screaming something about never having received a thank-you note. Extreme Uma Thurman-enthusiast Jack Jordan, for example—currently on trial for having harassed the actress and her family obsessively for two years—isn't a stalker at all, his lawyer argues. He's merely your garden variety creep:

Vanity Fair has done it again. In their upcoming issue, famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot a controversial photo spread featuring Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus, prompting public outrage from the Christian Coalition, Disney and, naturally, the ladies of The View. Leibovitz and VF are being accused of crossing the line between art and pedophilia by shooting Cyrus in what some are calling "topless" photos (shown after the jump). Before the issue has even hit newsstands, Miley has apologized to her fans and Disney, concerned that the spread could affect the Hannah Montana cash cow. But this isn't the first time VF has hired one of their star photographers to use her lens in an effort to reinvent the images of underage starlets by featuring them in a slightly more provocative and mature light...

Today's beneficiary of grudging Defamer support is David Grant, the former head of Fox Television Studios and plaintiff in a new breach-of-contract lawsuit filed against his former employer. Grant alleges that Fox still owes him a bonus and more from his tenure, which ended in 2004; the amount of the bonus is in question, but thanks to a read-through of Grant's perversely fascinating contract, we now have grounds for our bitter jealousy in writing:

In another humble attempt at becoming the world's coolest dad, David Hasselhoff managed to get his daughters and friends backstage at night two of this past weekend's Coachella music festival. The Hoff attempted to be on his best behavior in front of his children, but once he caught a bit of M.I.A.'s set and saw Prince, it reminded him of the time he performed on top of the Berlin Wall, only without the accents. It was at this point that The Hoff decided to make it rain with stacks and stacks of personalized Knight Rider era headshots, reportedly screaming at the top of his lungs, "It's 1985 again and I'm fucking back!"

Beyond the boardroom squabbles and oneupsmanship following Paramount's recent break with Showtime, two basic questions remain: Who will actually broadcast the new Paramount Channel? (Answer: Nobody, of course!) And besides its original series like Weeds and Dexter, what will Showtime air once its output deals expire in 2011? Come on — when you think of "corporate rescue," don't you think of Harvey Weinstein?

· The Coen brothers' Burn After Reading, a "dark spy comedy" starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Frances McDorman, and Tilda Swinton, will open the Venice Film Festival August 27, and open in the U.S. on September 12, whereupon everyone will agree that it lies somewhere between Intolerable Cruelty and No Country For Old Men in quality. [Variety]
· ABC won its 10th consecutive Sunday in a row, thanks to new episodes of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers and Sisters. [Variety]
· The Simpsons writers Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein will executive produce a new animated series for Fox, called Sit Down, Shut Up. Originally written by Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz, it's based on a live-action Australian sitcom, and revolves around "the lives of seven staff members at a dysfunctional high school in a small northeastern fishing town." Oh God, another one?! [Variety]
· THR has had some drastic plastic surgery, and we're having a hard time adjusting. We've never seen them happier, though, so just smile and tell them they look great! [THR]
· 90210 casting confirmation! Living MILF legend Lori Loughlin will play former Olympics cycling champion mom Celia Mills. [THR]

Reminding us of that time a grumpy Sean Connery asked for a commenter invite so he could take issue with our estimation of Harrison Ford, Kirk Douglas took to the LA Times letters section this weekend to protest the paper's recent treatment of "fallen" stars Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. And as far as we're concerned, his exquisitely articulated and defended point is the last word proving that the stars deserve better:

What would any Coachella festival be without stars of every letter-caste wandering the VIP sections, and perhaps getting mouthy with a security guard who "doesn't care if you're the Queen of England, Mr. Hasselhoff, you're not on Prince's backstage guest list!" A round-up of the celebrity goings on:
· We finally have an answer to the burning question of last week: Hey—what's Sean Penn doing on the Coachella bill? As it turns out, he was not there to shoot some low-budget crowd scenes for Milk, nor was he there, as he joked from the Main Stage yesterday, for an "a cappella cover act of Celine Dion." [Sound of polite audience laughter.] No, he was there for something called the Dirty Hands Caravan, a "biodiesel cross-country bus trip" starting from the concert site and ending in New Orleans on Sunday. The speech, in its entirety, is above—make sure to stick around for the YouTube documentarians' pithy assessment of Penn's oratorical skills. [YouTube, AP]