Gwyneth Explains Her Recent Need To Look Like A Hooker: 'I'm The Worst Actress Ever'
Gwyneth Paltrow has finally explained what recently inspired her to drastically change her uptight, ladylike English countryside demeanor into that of a high-class hooker using flashy props like kinky boots and see-through ass-grazing dresses. You know that standard awkward adolescent phase girls go through in middle school when they start painting on their mom's lipstick and wearing mini-skirts so the boys will notice them? Well, according to a recent interview with British GQ, Gwyneth is officially going through that phase right now: "Paltrow admits she suffers from a lack of confidence...she is desperate to change her public image...'People think I'm aloof, or cold, or that I breathe rarefied air - that's not me'." So what exactly turned the former It Girl into a Debbie Downer?
Post-pregnancy depression isn't to blame for her suddenly slutty new image, nor are rifts in her marriage to Chris Martin. Not even regret over naming her kids after fruits and religious leaders led her to this female version of a mid-life crisis. The reason? Paltrow only recently realized something the rest of the world has known for quite some time: "People came over to watch me in the film Emma and I was like, 'Oh. My. God. I'm the worst actress ever.'" But Gwyneth really shouldn't be that hard on herself. Sure, she won an Oscar for weeping in a rowboat, and can certainly provoke emotion from us in varied performances (mainly discomfort and the need to squirm in our seats whenever she begins to fake-cry), but she should at least treat herself to a viewing of that stripper movie Lindsay Lohan won a Razzie for. That way she can safely remove that "ever" from her pity-me quotes in the future.
