Though the Metropolitan Museum's annual Costume Gala is considered by most to be the Oscars of the fashion world, the truth of the matter is that no one really focuses on the clothes. What really matters is which celebrities show up to WEAR the clothes and, of course, whether or not they're lookin' good. That said, all eyes were entirely focused on the recently friction-laden, reportedly squabbling super-duo of Team Cruise and Team Beckham, who reunited once again for the cameras. And despite the gushing show of admiration and respect that the Beckhams demonstrated for the the Hubbard-lovers on yesterday's Oprah, both Holmes and Beckham were allegedly competing for the spotlight last night. And in the end? The girl with the higher-slit dress tends to win every time. More photos from the event, including our picks for the best and most horrific looks of the night, after the jump.

A stunning development could herald the return of one of the greatest way-above-the-title pairings in Hollywood history: that of superproducing entity Jerry Bruckheimer and überdirecting force Michael Bay, the former the explosion-loving ying to the latter's blowing-shit-up-obsessed yang. The pair's creative partnership resulted, of course, in some of the most beloved, absolutely-terrible blockbusters of the mid 1990s—but what project could satisfy their shared need for one mushroom-cloud-detonation per page and a stream of ham-fisted catchphrases that can only be fully appreciated when delivered by Nicolas Cage?

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

In yet another calculated attempt at reclaiming the image he's labored to build over a quarter-century as Hollywood's most bankable leading men, world's leading Tom Cruise archivist Tom Cruise has opened his vaults and splayed their contents across his newly minted digital headquarters, TomCruise.com.

Gosh, Marvel Studios, just take a minute to chew your food, would you? Less than 24 hours after its debut picture Iron Man finished a $100 million opening weekend, studio boss David Maisel was all over town announcing Marvel's forthcoming slate — through 2011. As we noted yesterday, an Iron Man sequel is naturally to follow on April 30, 2010, while an adaptation of Thor will drop that same summer on June 10. It gets fairly outrageous from there: The First Avenger: Captain America appears May 11, 2011, followed by The Avengers — combining Iron Man, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk and Thor a mere two months later. (The studio says its sitting out 2009 as a result of a development lag left over from the writers strike.)

The Tom Cruise Image Rehabilitation Tour rolls on today with a public pardon from Viacom kingpin Sumner Redstone, who followed his prodigal son's subdued Oprah stint with a reassurance that, you know, all that erratic-behavior outrage from a couple years back? Just kidding! And Mission: Impossible 4? It's "up to Brad Grey." Or, loosely translated, "Are we on number four? Already? Well, I'll be":

It's amazing to watch a show wildly redeem and practically reinvent itself in one night. The episode, written brilliantly by Paul Sciarrotta (seems to be his first episode!), was funny and suspenseful and, um, downright shocking at the end. (Well, as shocking as a network television show about dopey teenagers can get). The jokes! The Waverly Inn! Page Six! Tinsley Mortimer! Sciarrotta, a Georgetown alum, seems to know his pop-ish topical New York stuff, something the show was sorely missing. And what else? Gays! Bitchiness! And, um, murder?

So not only has Mattel released the world's most awkward figurine, depicting Heath Ledger's Joker in the forthcoming Batman sequel, The Dark Knight, but the creepy action figures are actually selling. Really, really well. Reports the Post: "Toy peddlers are laughing all the way to the bank with Heath Ledger's Joker doll selling out at New York stores. Droves of people lined up early at the Toys 'R' Us store in Times Square... 'There are none left in the warehouse, either.'" The $10 dolls are being re-sold on eBay. Get one for $55 with a Batman figurine! Put it in your morbid Heath Ledger apartment! [Post] (Joker image via Post)

· We have a solution to the global energy crisis: harness Patricia Heaton's mouth! (We especially like the stormy thought-bubble over Barbara Walter's head reading, "Wrap it up, you long-winded hag." Nice touch!) [The View]
· Were you, like us, expecting Disney Hall to transform into a giant, Iron Man-pulverizing, mechanized beast? Oh well. There's always the sequel. [Curbed LA]
· Finally, we get confirmation of the "Mr. Big Kicks-It" rumor that has been plaguing our dreams for months. The truth is...Mr. Big...definitely doesn't...not...live! Maybe! [USAToday.com]
· And finally: George Clooney rocking a tux the way a tux was meant to be rocked. [Faded Youth Blog]

Most stars have their own trademark pose on the red carpet. Think Renee Zellweger with her pursed lips looking like she just took a shot of lemon juice, or Lindsay Lohan's classic blowing kiss move. As for Keira Knightley, with her wildly perfect facial features and oddly appealing underbite, she's patented "The Pout." As she puts it:

Like an Iconoclasts that thanks you for the add, MySpaceTV's Artist on Artist pits star vs. star in a Battle Royale of Big Ideas and Mutual Tucheslecking. The only loser? You! See if you can pin the following quotes from Diablo Cody and John Cusack's recent Artist on Artist pairing to the appropriate speaker. To heighten the difficulty level a bit, we've also thrown in a few quotes from beloved TV landscape artist, Bob Ross:

From last week's revelations about his new "90-minute paranoia film" The Happening to his latest disclosure to USA Today that the movie is "terrifying," M. Night Shyamalan is full of surprises for the first time in years, The concept, that is — not necessarily the execution. And as usual, his enticements have us asking all kinds of questions from the womb-like remove of our Manoj-free sanctum:

As Variety reports today, MTV just greenlit eight episodes of a new reality show called The Search For Elle Woods, in which ten blonde hopefuls will compete to play the lead in Broadway's version of Legally Blonde. Reminiscent of NBC's You're The One That I Want, that high-kicking monstrosity in which amateur dancing, singing, crying, laughing Great White Way hopefuls danced their little hearts out for the chance to star in last year's revival of Grease, this one will thankfully rely on judges instead of America to determine the winner. But after hearing the details behind MTV's production plans, our initial sense is that the summer series will be utterly unwatchable. Three reasons why this show should not go on, after the jump:

The rather embarrassed son of Robert Downey Jr accompanied his father to dinner at Nobu in Malibu over the weekend. The Iron Man star felt like celebrating for a few reasons — the film's terrific opening and the Lakers victory. However, Downey's son seemed distracted. According to sources at the pricey eatery, when questioned about his attitude, the son said while he's appreciative that they can afford nice things and go to nice restaurants, but why does his dad have to make him wear a Cosby sweater in public? Downey paused for a moment and told his son that he doesn't have to wear anything that he doesn't want; it's just that the family stylist thought it'd look great.

As we briefly mentioned in this space on Friday, we are switching up the way we are delivering our daily To Do's to you, the loyal Defamer reader. While we will continue to list that evening's event list in print, we thought it might add a little somethin' somethin' to have Defamer's resident videotrix, Miss Molly McAleer, present the items to you in video form. Somedays, like today, she'll be shooting them from the comfort of her secret lair, which rests high above the Hollywood Hills (if you recognize her room, that's because it doubled for Tony Stark's bachelor pad in Iron Man). On other days, though, she'll be taking the show on the road, where she'll be in search of the most (or perhaps the least) majestic place from which to relay to you that day's To Do's. So, with that in mind, please enjoy the debut installment of our brand new feature! (Event listings follow after the jump.)

Pictured, an Italian Vanity Fair spread featuring a partially-nude former child star not likely to provoke the kinds of outrage elicited by the Miley Cyrus debacle. Rather, it features actor Joaquin Phoenix, in the process of receiving the tribal markings of the Yawanawa people of the Brazilian Amazon. (You'll recall indelible black markings figured prominently in his silent protest at this year's People's Choice Awards, as well.) Moments later, Phoenix was presented with an hallucinogenic tree toad—a ceremonial offering which he then licked greedily, causing one tribe elder to admonish him not to "Bogart the frog." His eyes then proceeded to dilate, and the actor giggled uncontrollably as he was promptly revisited by the large, amphibious friend who had once emerged from his hair on the Walk the Line red carpet.

A funny thing happened to Brett Ratner on the way to reviving Smell-o-Vision for a generation deprived of the aromatic arts: He tried filming Anton Yelchin and Olivia Thirlby fucking in a tree. In Central Park! Never one to do anything the easy way, Ratner bravely faced down layers of Gotham bureaucracy in the pursuit of his six-minute segment of the forthcoming omnibus film New York, I Love You:

Back in October of 2006, Vanity Fair shocked us all by nabbing the first family photos of until-then MIA Suri Cruise, the tiny Xenuphobic bundle of joy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had masterfully kept hidden months after her no-screaming-allowed birth. Why were we shocked? Accusations from both the press and the masses flooded the public narrative claiming little Suri looked nothing like Tom or Katie, some going so far as to claim the pregnancy was faked. But after the Knights of Hubbard spent this past weekend in New York with Suri in tow, it's become clear to us that Suri is quite obviously a real-live Cruise. The pictures that convinced us, along with details on which stars the Cruises spent time proselytizing dining with out East, after the jump.

· Baby-faced Freaks and Geeks (and Bones) star John Francis Daley and writing partner Jonathan Goldstein will rewrite Hours of Fun for Disney, a great premise about what happens when all those back-of-the-comic-book novelty items actually live up to their promises. Oh man, Sea-Monkeys: The Movie! We're so there. [THR]
· So beyond four more years of Family Guy and its offspring, what else does Seth MacFarlane's $100 million deal mean for you? How about a Family Guy movie?! Don't say you came out of this empty handed. [TV Week]
· Jennifer Love Hewitt's legendary, spirit-channeling rack will live on the syndicated afterlife, as Sci Fi Channel and WE have jointly acquired rerun rights to the CBS drama. [Variety]
· Worried that a PG-13 rating will water down Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, the next installment of the cyborg-killing-machine franchise? Says Salvation-producer Victor Kubicek, "The PG-13 has increased in intensity." [Variety]
· This is great: An FCC ruling has deemed TMZ and The 700 Club "bona fide newscasts," making them exempt from political equal-time requirement laws. We guess that makes Harvey Levin the Walter Cronkite of the exposed ladyparts generation? "And that's the way it's shaved." *Long sip from sippy cup.* [Variety]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]