After Elisabeth Hasselbeck nearly brained Barbara Walters yesterday using a coffee mug filled with steaming-hot Republican rage, producers for The View wisely kept Walters away from today's show, though things were just as politically heated. Today — as it often is — the topic was Sarah Palin, and Hasselbeck's had quite enough of that issue, thank you very much!After Joy Behar ran clips of Palin's two biggest gaffes during her recent Katie Couric interview — Palin's inability to name a Supreme Court case she disagreed with or a single newspaper she read — Hasselbeck attempted to defend the vice presidential candidate, then complained that her cohosts spend too much time talking about Sarah Palin and not enough time talking about Barack Obama. Meanwhile, Joe Biden silently weeped at his exclusion, muttering, "What about meeee? I was on SNL once, too!"

It's hard to believe that Michael Bay has been shooting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for almost four months now, but rest assured it wasn't painstaking months of character research that has slowed production to its current pace. After all, as we discovered over the summer via the film's banished extra "Man Eating Hamburger" (aka Reginald Brown), Bay has little to no knowledge of his subject and even less interest in lessons from an extra. But that doesn't mean Brown has given up trying to "learn Michael some Transformers"; in fact, reports on producer Don Murphy's illustriously deranged message board suggest that the film's climactic desert showdown may not involve Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox or giant robots at all, but rather a stunning Brown vs. Bay main event that will make Uwe Boll seethe with jealousy:

There's a valid debate to be had about the cosmic justice in news that Hayden Christensen this week agreed to a three-picture deal with Screen Gems. Beyond the obvious indignation that directors like David Lynch (and his cow) are reduced to promoting his films on the street while Werner Herzog remakes American B-pictures (when he's not remaking his own), we might look to the more bracing reality that a man best known for pouting his way through two Star Wars films as Anakin Skywalker has been entrusted with the development of three movies for Sony's genre offshoot. Is it oversimplifying to wonder where this faith came from, or what Screen Gems thinks it will get out of this? Have you ever once heard anyone walking around on a studio lot, at festivals or elsewhere intoning, "I want to be in the Hayden Christensen business?" Seriously, yes or no: Is there a demand for three Hayden Christensen films?Not that we have anything against Hayden Christensen; Shattered Glass was wonderful, and it's not his fault Star Wars set fire to its own legacy. He's not waving the Hayden flag on some hubristic victory lap this morning, either; the word slipped out via Variety, which reported that Christensen and his brother's shingle Forest Park Pictures will bring projects directly to Screen Gems when he's not invited to participate in the studio's own films. The first film under the pact, the thriller Bone Deep, shoots later this fall (also starring T.I. and Chris Brown, who curiously have SG deals as well), and the two remaining projects are yet to be determined. "Hayden is a very talented and versatile actor with a proven worldwide box-office history," Screen Gems president Doug Culpepper told the trade paper. Again, nothing against Christensen's talent (we've seen better than pretty much any actor under 30 these days), but "proven worldwide box-office history"? Excepting Star Wars, which you kind of have to do considering what little he's been able to whip up in their "proven worldwide box-office" aftermath, Christensen's only score was Jumper, a generally reviled $220 million grosser that lost money Stateside and cost almost three times what Screen Gems is going to pay to make and market any of Christensen's upcoming projects — genre films like Awake, which did less than $30 million worldwide in 2007. Obviously this isn't the worst deal Screen Gems could make; there's always that home-video and Flopz™ afterlife. (Or only life, as with his straight-to-DVD 2007 effort Virgin Territory.) Still, though: In this economic climate, Hayden Christensen is a player? Does Screen Gems know something we don't? And if so, can we have stock tips while they're at it?

Though John McCain came out of the Republican National Convention with a lead over Barack Obama, the general consensus is that political momentum has swung back Obama's way — and for further proof, look no further than important swing voter Diddy. Last seen praising Sarah Palin's RNC speech ("You did your thing. You gave a speech that pretty much shut me the fuck up") Diddy has changed his tune even faster than a ridiculous nickname past its expiration date. Now, after having watched Palin biff question after question with Katie Couric, Diddy is frightened — so frightened, he's hiding under the covers, threatening never to come out if McCain and Palin get elected. Finally, a celebrity endorsement the Republicans can actually use! [Diddy Blog]

Click to viewBoomp3.com After years and years of development, production finally began on Bros, Matthew Perry’s long gestating Friends spin off, in West Hollywood on Wednesday afternoon. In Bros, Perry’s popular “Chandler” character serves as the den bro to a couple of young plucky bros looking to make it Hollywood (one’s a chef and the other, you guessed it, a writer!). Perry felt that Bros really spoke to an untapped audience —men— while retaining the charm of the original series. Perry said, “It still has the heart and charm of Friends, but it’s edgy like Californication and moody like Mad Men. It’s a real modern and charming bromance between a group of bros who’d die for each other.” Perry did not rule out any guest appearances from his old Friends co-stars, but would like the series to focus on one certain thing: namely, bro-ing down. [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Denials: Sharon Stone would like you to know that she would never, ever let her son bogart her Botox! "This week it was reported in connection with Sharon Stone's custody dispute that she wanted to have her young 8 year-old son undergo Botox treatment at this time for his feet," said her attorney Martin Singer to Entertainment Tonight. "Sharon Stone never made this statement. It is a complete fabrication. Sharon loves her son Roan and only wants the best for him." That, Singer added, is why the actress has scheduled a chemical peel for Roan before class pictures. [ET]

This is Amy Lumet, the California socialite daughter of filmmaker Sidney Lumet (and granddaughter of chanteuse Lena Horne!) As you might have noted, she is voluptuous! Three years ago she told the Village Voice she wanted to be in Playboy; she apparently used to model. We bring her up today because of some highly unsubstantiated internet rumors that she had an affair with John McCain during the Gulf War while she was married to cancer-stricken conservative pundit P.J. O'Rourke and O'Rourke was on assignment in the Middle East, where John McCain's wife was coincidentally consuming some of the aircraft carriers worth of Percocet she took to cope with the pain of her loveless marriage. We might wait for more evidence as to the veracity of such a rumor if the mere existence of Amy Lumet were not so fascinating in itself.For instance, did you know…

· In their highly anticipated return to rumors of reuniting, Martin Scorsese is attached to direct Robert De Niro in I Heard You Paint Houses, based on the story of a mob hit man reputedly linked to the death of Jimmy Hoffa. Steven Zaillian will adapt the source book. [Variety] · With the Jetsons movie permanently stalled and Huckleberry Hound resting snugly on the bottom of the Hanna-Barbera remake barrel, Warner Bros. has defaulted to Yogi Bear as its live-action/animation hybrid to make entire generations cringe in 2010. [THR] After the jump: Kung Fu Panda reups in 3D, Fringe reups in 2D, and crisis! grips! Bollywood!· Jack Black and Angelina Jolie will return for a 3D Kung Fu Panda sequel, prompting the Chinese scientists so humiliated by the first one to ramp up their pursuit of a fourth dimension for their eagerly awaited response. [THR] · The number of new DVD titles released through August is down almost 15% from the same time last year, 8,661 to 7,381. Come on, Hollywood — let's get going! Harvey can't keep up this pace all by himself! [THR] · The Bollywood film industry is in a standstill today after 147,000 workers in 22 unions (even the dancing girls!) went on strike to protest substandard pay and work conditions. In related news, Warnari Bros. Studios drew fan wrath after the stoppage forced them to delay the release of Hari Puttar 2 to summer 2009. [Variety] · You wanted it (we think), you got it: Fox ordered a full season of JJ Abrams's Fringe. [THR]

Though it premiered last year to huge numbers, the whimsical dramedy Pushing Daisies may soon need its hero's touch of life, if last night's ratings are any indication. The second season premiere of Daisies fell a whopping 55% from its year-ago totals, the biggest drop on a night of mostly bad returns for ABC (Private Practice fell 38%, and the troubled, endlessly tinkered-with Dirty Sexy Money fell 31%). Might ABC be rethinking it decision to hold all three shows until the fall after last year's writers strike interrupted their freshman seasons? And if a shirtless Lee Pace (above, having bees poured on him) can't resuscitate Daisies, can anything? [THR]

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the AFI Night At The Movies event held at the Arclight, beloved Hollywood icon Dustin Hoffman broke into a rather pitchy rendition of “Hound Dog” with Bullseye, the Target mascot. Hoffman and Bullseye fielded some requests from the crowd, but due to Bullseye’s limited vocal range, they were forced to perform “Hound Dog” one more time. After the encore, Hoffman hoped that Bullseye expand his song category in the future. Hoffman said, “I would love to do some old standards one night with old Bully. A night of Cole Porter? Bully is good, but he has a long ways to go." [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Though it's currently tied up in litigation, there may be no 2009 film more anticipated than Zack Snyder's adaptation of the seminal graphic novel Watchmen. Even the federal judge handling the studio dispute made sure to note that he loved the trailer, though he cautioned the filmmakers, “There’s always a risk that if you get one of these very evocative trailers, you put pressure on the movie." Thanks, Judge Fees! Meanwhile, Snyder hasn't let the pending legal death match slow him down — last night, he showed off 25 minutes of well-received footage to a select group of journalists. Many noted its utter fidelity to Alan Moore's original graphic novel, though there was one audacious new six-minute sequence added by Snyder himself:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Embattled Disney tween mega star Miley Cyrus proved to the world that she has nothing up her sleeves nor any intention of pulling a practical joke on nearby civilians. Its been rumored that Hannah Montana has been tormenting the sleepy Toluca Lake community with a wave of ding dong ditches and late night Huffy bicycle races. Yet Cyrus remained steadfast in denial of being involved in any shenanigans. Cyrus said, “That wasn’t me, y’all. I’m just too busy to ding dong ditch somebody unless it was that cranky old Mr. Cruthers. He’s soooo weird. Okay, I ding dong ditched his house, but that was it.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

So Jay Leno must have said no to that primetime variety show NBC had in mind for him, because Defamer HQ opened for business this morning with flocks of winged monkeys dropping pamphlets promoting Rosie's Variety Show, Rosie O'Donnell's live, hour-long mash of song, dance, comedy and teeth-gritting celebrity cameos set for a Nov. 26 trial run before launching into a full season some time in 2009. The show comprises NBC's best laid plans and worst-kept secret in one handy bundle; O'Donnell has been in talks with the 'Cock at least since July, conjuring a catch-all talent show/musical comedy free-for-all just in case Leno defected to ABC. And while Leno's plans still aren't officially set, Rosie and her new network allies should encounter little trouble throwing together the hot, hodgepodgy mess in a month and a half. Behold what NBC brass is calling "the YouTube of variety shows":

Famous actresses should really write something into their contracts that says that in the case of their ex-boyfriend being arrested for international money-laundering and fraud, all mandatory TV interviews for a new movie can be postponed at least until his trial is over. Anne Hathaway already had to face David Letterman's questions about her ex, conman Raffaello Follieri, and today she had to go on Good Morning America to explain what she "learned" by dating an Italian hustler. Uh, not to do it? Click to watch her speak poignantly enough to live up to GMA's standards of public purging. [The saddest part of all is that the movie she's promoting, "Rachel Getting Married" is absolutely terrible. Epically grating. I even got free tickets, but Jesus. It's not worth the headache, Anne.]

An election year will make stars do all kinds of crazy things, from role-playing to mile-high one-night stands. Jessica Alba tends to get especially frisky, with her recent participation in the voter-registration campaign Declare Yourself revealing a certain taste for bondage — as a metaphor for twisting in voiceless civic oblivion, of course, not her and Cash Warren's predilection when the baby is out at grandma's or wherever. Or maybe it's both! We just don't know. Point being, her duct-taped agony of a while back has today given way to the far more modest Hannibal Lecter muzzle, the latest DY ad to make its way public. (The Unrated, Extended Director's Cut follows the jump.)It's a sure sign we're too old for torture porn-as-voting drive, making us less likely to register than it does to dig out our Dark Angel DVD's and imagine the holy hell that would await anyone who tried this on Max Guevera.

· Some genius isolated David Lee Roth's grunting, squealing vocal track from "Runnin' With the Devil" and posted it to YouTube, finally converting the world's four remaining Van Halen-haters to rabid fans. Expect an acapella holiday album by the end of the month. [GiggleSugar] · Michael Bay is getting better and better at Twitter these days. To wit: "Shia cried more today. Especially compared to yesterday." Who knew? Thanks for the heads up, Mr. Lisanti! [Twitter] · And the winner of Harvey Weinstein's $1 Million Charity Sweepstakes is... the Robin Hood Foundation. Which, coincidentally, has expressed an interest in helping market Zack and Miri Make A Porno. Small world. [Page Six] · Good news from the Joan Hyler recovery front: The critically injured manager/producer today spoke her first words since the car accident that sent her to the hospital in August. [Care Pages] · Ahhhhhh!!!!! Lasers! [Tumblr]

No One Escapes the Emmys Unscathed: You might think that after becoming the first basic cable show to win the Emmy for Best Drama, AMC's Mad Men would receive a bump in ratings from first-timer curious to see what all the fuss is about. You would be wrong: the series fell from 1.9 million viewers to 1.6 million for its first episode since the awards ceremony. In the words of defiant Emmy figurehead Josh Groban, "Really? Really?!" [THR]

Last we heard from Nikki Blonsky, she blew off talk of her and her family's recent skirmish with America's Next Top Model contender Bianca Golden (and her subsequent arrest) with the gentle rejoinder that the truth would come out in the end. And while it may or may not be the "truth," something perhaps far more special came out today when Golden finally spoke out to Tyra Banks about that fateful moment in the tropics when the Hairspray actress lashed out and the reality star "done decked the girl out, Tracy Turnblad":

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the Paris premiere of the latest chapter in the exhilarating High School Musical series, hunky film star Zac Efron admitted to long time gal pal Vanessa Hudgens that she’s nearly as pretty as he is. The pint sized hunk admitted that being in the City of Lights could have had an influence on his decision to call his musical partner pretty. Efron said, “She usually looks good, but something there’s just something about tonight.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

After offending gays, Asians, and audiences with its ignoble release last summer, the Adam Sandler gay marriage vehicle I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has found itself back in the news this week with equally confounding results. According to the Washington Post (via Videogum), new legislation that could provide employee benefit programs to the partners of gay federal employees is under siege thanks to Office of Personnel Management deputy director Howard C. Weizmann, who cites the Sandler movie as reason enough not to put the plan into action: