It's hard to believe that Michael Bay has been shooting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for almost four months now, but rest assured it wasn't painstaking months of character research that has slowed production to its current pace. After all, as we discovered over the summer via the film's banished extra "Man Eating Hamburger" (aka Reginald Brown), Bay has little to no knowledge of his subject and even less interest in lessons from an extra. But that doesn't mean Brown has given up trying to "learn Michael some Transformers"; in fact, reports on producer Don Murphy's illustriously deranged message board suggest that the film's climactic desert showdown may not involve Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox or giant robots at all, but rather a stunning Brown vs. Bay main event that will make Uwe Boll seethe with jealousy:

Back in NY Reginald has put together an elaborate plan to confront the director during the last weeks of shooting, in Egypt.

"Note- The Riddle of the Sfinks 1- Fly to Egypt as a Tourist (check passport validity) 2- Pay for extra suitcase (pack all Transformers "ideas" notebooks) 3- Arrange for stay with Nubian Brethren 4- Get Limo Driver to set 5- Pose as Prince Alli Ben Satchbone and ask to see "persons in charge" 6- Discuss with Bay Soundwave's viability, Starscream's alt mode and possible use of [Frank] Welker as voice actor 7- Offer Egyptian funding if changes are made- he can try to collect later 8- Return Limo and head back to plane" Now that the Egypt plan is revealed hopefully Don or someone can put up proper defenses.

And this even doesn't include the illuminating IM conversations with Bay's webmaster ("Also I know that if Bay kept my Hamburger eating scene I would upstage Shia- THAT's the reason I got denied, you knows it Nelson"). We'd say we'll bring you the latest as it happens, but who are we kidding? That's what Michael Bay's Twitter feed is for.