Brad Pitt has exposed himself in W—and we do mean exposed, Chuck Close's unforgiving photos highlighting every worry line to sprout across his iconic face since undertaking fathering duties to a knife-obsessed Cambodian mercenary.

With rumors flying about how much time Patrick Swayze had left after his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, the actor sat down with Barbara Walters to come clean.

· Remember that humiliating night when you had wayyyy too much to drink, and you started speaking in tongues, thinking every slurred, nonsensical sentiment was completely hilarious? Neither does Terry Bradshaw.

After working with Ledger in Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus just before his death, Troyer was moved to replicate part of the actor's signature—a heart—as a tattoo on his hand. Troyer recounted his memories in a sober, touching story that belied its setting: an episode of the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. Luckily, Troyer managed to keep the moment respectful; the only flicker of inappropriate reality show camp came just before he began, as the narrator noted, "4:48 pm. Coolio is in the kitchen." [ONTD]

Their nominating association has no taste, and some of their prospective winners didn't even know they existed. But whether they want it or not, they'll get a new, made-over Golden Globe statuette Sunday night.

· Pop Noir at Echoplex, and Swedish singer Theresa Andersson at The Hotel Café.

1/3 — Spotted saucy GARY OLDMAN heading to Starbucks in Studio City. He looked taller and less self-conscious than most actors I see out around town. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Fox and Warner Bros. may currently be locked in a fanboy-torturing Watchmen legal battle, but that isn't going to stop WB from releasing Watchmen's final, full trailer...in Japan.

Usually our distress over new TV and movie concepts is fueled by the brutal recycling of ideas. Today, though? We'd take Godfather 4 over what's coming down the reality-TV pipe.

While Momma's Boys continues to advance the reality dating show genre in lightly incestuous ways, the stale Bachelor franchise looks to be growing desperate.

Now that Jett Travolta's death has shone a spotlight on Scientology's tenuous relationship with medicine, Lisa Marie Presley has taken to her Myspace blog to announce that Scientologists can pop any pill they want.

In honor of tonight's premiere of ABC's Homeland Security USA, a show easily described by the equation: (COPS + Terrorism) - All Conceivable Fun, we present a special threat edition of Watch, TiVo, Kill.

Lucas's Folly XVIII: Something About Glass Skulls's long journey from fanboy dream-project to yet another chapter in The Big Book of Cinematic Disillusionment has been capped with an Oscar snub.

We've just had a look at the official nomination ballot for the Razzies, and we're still reeling from the unexpected shutout of frontrunner The Spirit.

W. co-stars Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright were cleared today of charges they interfered with a crew member's arrest last summer in Shreveport. Violent, taserific new footage defies you to disagree.

1/6 — Spotted The Santa Clause himself, TIM ALLEN, walking into the Coffee Bean at Lankershim and Cahuenga in North Hollywood chatting emphatically with two people flanking him. He was sporting a shockingly tight black t-shirt and appears to be getting into prime physical shape for Toy Story 3. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

While some know Chris Evans from Fantastic Four, others are better-acquainted with the actor because of a notorious, shirtless photo shoot he did almost five years ago for Flaunt magazine.

· Variety wonders if we're all just going through the motions this award season. That's ridiculous—we're totally excited to cheer on our favorite film of the year, TK TK, at Hollywood's most glamorous etc etc... [Variety]

1/2 — I turned the corner in the furniture aisle and saw DAVID COOK in the North Hollywood Target. He was focusing on looking down and texting as much as possible. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Last night, Jeremy Piven sent a very late text message to Sherri Shepherd—and for once, it didn't say "Come to my room - whoever responds first gets me for the night."