· 826LA's monthly Tiny Vaudeville series comes to the Echoplex, with the musical stylings of Pop Levi, Dave Foley, Al Madrigal, Dave (Gruber) Allen, and James Adomian.

In the post-Sex and the City era, male friendships moved into the forefront of American culture. Every guy needs his boys, especially men in black collar jobs who spend most of the day discussing minutiae.

Before you unscrew that bottle of André you've been saving up for some happy SAG news, commenter Justine Bateman over at Deadline Hollywood Daily had this to say about the overthrowing of Doug Allen:

The pink-slip printer had been whirring loudly all day over at Variety. And moments ago, as it produced actual names, it took on the blood-curdling tone of a meat grinder.

Fresh from his victory over dinosaur-hating Sarah Palin, Matt Damon has issued two new challenges: one to be settled with words, the other with close-quarters combat.

A mutinying group of SAG moderates calling themselves National Board Majority have succeeded in removing Doug Allen as SAG's National Executive Director and chief negotiator, in what will likely be the strike movement's fatal blow.

What do you get Kiefer Sutherland for his birthday? Apparently, not a transvestite stripper—the National Enquirer says he's already had one of those.

With the Lunar New Year dropping, rebirth is in the air and you have a chance to revise some New Year's resolutions. Lose 15 pounds? Make that 5. Find peace? More like, find a job.

After warm Sundance, hail falls in Atwater Village. [Atwater Newbie]

As loyal Defamer readers will know, there are a lot of reasons to be excited for The Expendables — joined now by the potential to watch Sylvester Stallone literally explode onscreen.

· After a queerific if largely unfabulous stay in Brooklyn, the next season of MTV's The Real World is heading to Cancun to tackle the overstuffed-hot-tub issues facing today's spring-breaking youth. [THR]

Since Grey's Anatomy has been almost totally same-sex scrubbed, the ABC series remaining with the gayest sensibility is the Thursday night mainstay Ugly Betty. Now, even that show is in some incredibly butch danger.

What better time than the worst media battering in generations to launch a new Hollywood quasi-trade publication? That's mostly rhetorical, but if you do have a better answer than "today," don't tell Sharon Waxman.

With the fate of NBC's uncanceled Lipstick Jungle a primetime uncertainty, one staffer took no chances with his fallback plans: He swiped $30,000 in fashions from the show and put them on eBay.

Though Mickey Rourke has long insisted he is his struggling, over-the-hill character in The Wrestler, we didn't think he'd attempt to make a second career out of it.

1/25 — RYAN KWANTEN from True Blood at the Wokcano in Santa Monica, which is also apparently a dance club (horrors). He crashed some girl's private party to stand on the elevated balcony (all the better to look down on everyone else) and then proceeded to dance with and chat up girls, even after introducing them to his wife. Um, ick? Also, his IMDb says he is 5'10'' - lies.

Violating an unspoken Hollywood rule of engagement—no matter how undeserving or mink-clad you might deem them to be, you never, ever scribble indelible unpleasantries on a celebrity's Walk of Fame star—an unseen hand has written "FUR HAGS" beneath the names of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. An Olsen fan site attributes the defacing to PETA, who've pulled a similar stunt in the past on Sharon Stone's star—but word on the street has it that local hot-headed reactionary Chewbacca was spotted fleeing the scene with a Sharpie clenched in one paw, shouting, "MRrraaawwwwahhwwgrrrraah," which translates to, "You have the blood of a thousand Wookies on your hands, you unfeeling, stole-wrapped, two-headed Olsen monster!"

OK, so for real this time: Much as we loved our festival jaunt (and are keeping its sinus-besieging germs close to us even today), Sundance's awards announcements are our official signal to finally move on.

Newly implicit in the awards show gauntlet is the poison-picking question, "Joey Fatone or Lisa Rinna?" SAG nominee James Franco selected Fatone rather than his TV Guide Channel cohost. He chose unwisely.

What color is your Monday morning misery? Pink slip? Blue pregnancy-test result? Black asymmetrical mole? Desaturate the pain with some box office numbers: