We have no idea how Garry Shandling materialized on hipster party photo site The Cobra Snake, but this tableaux feels like a transmission from an alternate universe, where the trucker hat set and Botox aficionados from the westside can coexist peacefully. Adding to our disquietude is the unshakeable feeling that the young lady's finger is being prepped for a collision with Shandling's nipple, which is afforded virtually no protection by his half-unbuttoned shirt. (For the love of God, please don't make us think about where that thumb is going in the next frame.)

We apologize if we're spoiling anyone's breakfast burrito by discussing movement in the world of agents this early, but UTA bigshot Adam Isaacs has bolted the agency for the chum-rich waters of Endeavor's shark tank. In classic agent defection style, he's hiding most of his clients (including Kiera Knightley, Matt LeBlanc, and Helena Bonham Carter) under his coat and running for daylight. You can't see Official Agent Dance mascot/Endeavor partner Ari Emanuel's hands in his picture, but he's applying "the shocker" to a stuffed moose toy wearing a tiny UTA t-shirt and cackling with delight.

· Yes, but what do fellow doomed Hollywood couple Nick and Jessica have to say about The Big Brad and Jen Break-Up? "Any marriage is tough." How true, how true.
· Not all the angles have been discussed: Phone sex might be the culprit.
· Apparently, Israeli McDonalds are a lot hipper than the ones here. Behold the McSchwarma, as pimped by Vincent and Jules.
· No matter how hard they try, they can't make us care about potential voter fraud at the People's Choice Awards. Clearly, any awards show that recognizes that viewers really want their Joey accurately reflects the will of the people.
· Holy shit. Bruckheimer movie to follow shortly. (Michael Bay to direct.)

· Hyped (not totally unearned, either) band The Futureheads will do a free in-store show at at Amoeba Records. As always, arrive early if you want to watch the band from the coveted vinyl section. The Jimmy Chamberlin Complex, featuring the ex-Smashing Pumpkins drummer (arguably only the second- or third-most dysfunctional member of that band, despite the heroin habit), does their thing at the Knitting Factory.
· For Golden Apple lovers: Gerard Jones presents and signs Men of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters, and the Birth of the Comic Book at Book Soup. For those who'd drink a can of Castroil before giving up their hybrid: Actor/environmentalist Ed Begley Jr. lectures the green about “Living Simply So That Others May Simply Live,” at the Studio City Branch Library.
· The last time we saw Zach Galifianakis, he was wearing a Lil' Orphan Annie outfit at M bar, but tonight he performs at Largo. (You can only cross your fingers for the Annie get-up.) He's so funny that we very nearly forgive him for his stint on Tru Calling.

While many of us have been selfishly fretting about how we'll find a way to make it through Brad and Jen's separation and eventual divorce, has anyone stepped back from their personal misery to ask, "What's going to happen to the children?" Not real children, mind you; they were considerate enough not to procreate. We're referring to Plan B, their vanity production company with Warner Bros. In the chaos surrounding Friday's announcement, we'd heard that they were going to abandon the company, but now the official party line is that Plan B will go on, with Pitt and Aniston remaining business partners. They wouldn't want to orphan Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or their other projects in development.

"Choose your street with 'Canyon' in the name, and that likely has been impacted by mud."
— Brian Humphrey, Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman

Eventually, the rain will stop, the sun will peek out from behind the protective blanket of smog, and life as usual will resume. And just when we think we're finally safe, a new terror will visit itself on our fair city.

John Logan, the A-list screenwriter growing so powerful that his agents wrangled him a contract provision stating he'd receive the sole screenplay credit on The Aviator, offers some helpful tips on how to survive the business in the NY Times:

Many of us are only now starting to feel the impact of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's historic break-up. A reader questions reality itself, obviously grasping for the straws of meaning that are so elusive during the inevitable denial stage resulting from such a profound loss:

· News Corp. offers to buy what we thought it already owned. Who can makes sense of these multimedia conglomerates? [THR]
· The ink is dry on his new deal, so let the naysaying begin: Can the experience-impaired, TV veteran "outsider" Brad Grey hack it at Paramount? Who knows, but it's giving people ample opportunity to rationalize about "transferable skills." [THR, Variety, sub. req'd.]
· SAG and producers unions take an indefinite break from contract negotiations. Stall all you want, actors, you still ain't getting any more DVD money. [THR]
· Nearly every cable network but the Food Network is desperate to pay through the nose for watered-down Sopranos reruns. The bidding starts at $1.8 million per episode. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Dan Rather's 60 Minutes Wednesday Memogate results in at least four heads rolling at CBS. [THR]
· National Film Critics fall under Clint Eastwood's lockjawed spell, choosing Million Dollar Baby as the year's best. [THR]

How does Universal keeping wringing box office gold out of movies like Meet the Fockers and Along Came Polly? Hint: It isn't Ben Stiller. The secret ingredient is Uni head Stacey Snider's incredibly developed understanding of the craft of comedy:

The shockwaves from Friday's bombshell A-list decoupling will be felt for days. Luckily, the First Law of Celebrity Thermodynamics ensures that the heat from Pitt and Aniston's relationship must be conserved; the airwaves will instantly replace fawning specials about their magical marriage with non-stop break-up coverage on VH1, E! and Access Hollywood.

Did anyone else notice that last night's season premiere of 24 featured a terrorist named "Tomas Sherak"? (It was a little hard to miss, since the name was mentioned about a dozen times during the episode.) The real-life Tom Sherak, of course, is a partner at Revolution Studios and the former chairman of Fox's film division. Naming a terrorist after a studio exec really lacks the shout-out cachet of, say, the writers of The O.C. slipping their agents' names into their show.

Your Monday morning dose of box office vitamins follows:

We step away from the computer for A HALF FREAKING HOUR to finally take a shower, and the world as we know it ends: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are finally admitting that they've split up. The rumors have been swirling for months, with tales of Pitt finding his way into Angelina Jolie's trailer on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, where the crew supposedly had to run interference every time Aniston came to visit. ("Hey Brad, pull out! Pull out! The Friend has landed!") But their sneaky, sneaky publicist now farts out this announcement late on a Friday afternoon, hoping that it will all blow over by Monday. Well played.

· Defamer's white whale, the semifictional Adidas Zissou sneaker from The Life Aquatic, is still not for sale. We will have them! [via witz.org]
· Even Palestinians who've never heard of Richard Gere wish he'd shut the f up.
· It's a miracle that it's taken this long for a viewer to sue Fear Factor. Apparently, rats in a blender is the official threshold for litigation.
· Colin Farrell: Sex with hookers is like ordering a pizza. We don't even want to know what he's into, but the phrase "extra anchovies" is suddenly chilling.

Friday
· They say time travel doesn't exist, but if not, explain this: Sir Mix-A-Lot with Young MC at Vault 350 in Long Beach. Bust a move, yo.
· LA Remixed is a video remix of the Natural History Museum’s LA: Light/Motion/Dreams exhibit, featuring DJ David J (Love and Rockets, Bauhaus), Languis and others. Moves may also be busted here.
Saturday
· Shaun of the Dead stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost will be at the Borders in Westwood to sign copies of their modern classic of undead cinema. Zombies: still hot in 2005.
· From BA to LA at the Track 16 Gallery features displays from Argentine artists, including one with a portrait of Britney Spears composed of supermarket price tags. That's exactly the kind of art we can get behind.
Sunday
· Mink Stole interviews actress Linda Blair (you all remember the spinning head in The Exorcist) about her career at Inside the Akbar Studio. The obligatory audience Q & A to follow.

After a week watching new Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson flail behind his desk proves a predictably unpleasant experience, Slate's Dana Stevens does the only rational thing: pledging to watch tonight's show while really, really high:

A totally uneventful weekend at the box office awaits!

LA Observed has the breakdown of the swag bag that Golden Globes presenters will receive for their thirty seconds or so of drunken slave-labor in front of a hot teleprompter. The damage? $38,390, including a $16K trip to Australia, a $2,700 diamond pendant, and a $900 shawl. Yeah, that's a pretty nice take, even for people who make $38K in the time it takes their assistant to tie their shoes. But given the climate of selflessness that's gripped Hollywood in the wake of the tsunami disaster, we're sure every single presenter is going to donate their goodies to the relief effort. Surely there's a homeless family in Indonesia that can use $540 worth of Kiehl's to rejuvenate their weather-beaten complexions.