[via Animal NY]

People who inadvertently starred in Youtube videos that got huge are the child TV stars of the internet, their lives defined by some awkward, emasculating moment. So it goes for the "Numa Numa" guy.

Tweens across America are preparing to go stand out in front of their local Wal-Mart at midnight tomorrow so they can buy the Twilight DVD. Unless they are murdered in a gruesome gang initiation:

Iranian blogger Omidreza Mirsayafi died in prison on Wednesday. He was in jail for insulting Iran's leaders. Authorities claim he committed suicide. That is probably a lie.

Many TV shows will have deaths at the end of this season. A list. [EW]

Best Life folded today. But it was just the latest of many magazines to die in this grim, anti-glossy era of dirt and mud. Here, 23 of the departed. [Montage by Jess Shaffer]

A couple of barbecue fans concoct a recipe for a bacon-wrapped, bacon-stuffed log of sausage. The media writes about it. Now, they have a book deal. And that's when the idea of 'books' became ridiculous.

People magazine is reporting that bubblegum pop star/ monster Chris Brown is back together again with battered (by him) woman/ superior singer Rihanna. I see only three possibilities, concerning this story:

Well I reckon if they found out that jerking off gives men cancer, then it's only fair that they also found out that drinking gives women cancer. Thanks science!

Snacks: are you purchasing a sufficient percentage of yours from the Frito-Lay brand? If you're a woman, the answer is probably no. But don't worry, ladies; neuromarketing targeting your hippocampus will change that soon.

A student at tony Upper East Side prep school Dalton has died after jumping from a window on the building's 11th floor. Reports indicate that a group of students witnessed the as-yet-unidentified boy's death.

Ever since the heroic War on Terror began, the Pentagon hasn't let the media cover the arrival home of the coffins of dead US soldiers. Now maybe they'll loosen that ban...because the Pentagon hates war?

The good news: you can finally see where the Vice President lives! The bad news: John Updike is dead. :(

A dead body encased in solid ice for who knows how long was found—with only the feet sticking out—in an elevator shaft in a warehouse. In Detroit, obviously. By a reporter. One we know!

Will scientists ever stop destroying our lives? We're sorry to report, men, that according to a new study, masturbating throughout your 20s and 30s will totally give you cancer.

Good lord. New York Knicks center Eddy Curry was hit with a shady gay sexual harassment lawsuit earlier this month. And yesterday the mother of his child was murdered, in front of the child.

We're obligated to tell you that Mariana Bridi, the 20 year-old Brazilian model who had her hands and feet amputated over the past week, has died.

A swashbuckling Somali pirate went back for one last big score. He thought he had it made—until disaster struck. The hand of providence at work? Or just proof that pirate stories are all cinematic?

On New Year's Day, after a fight on a BART train, police pulled Oscar Grant and others off the train at the Fruitvale station near Oakland's airport. Witnesses with cell phones and videocameras captured Johannes Mehserle, a police officer for the BART rail system, in the act of shooting Grant. A local TV station ran one of these clips Sunday. But Grant's death wasn't widely reported until cameraphone footage was posted until Tuesday, sparking protests in downtown Oakland Wednesday night which turned into a riot.

In case you are following the current Somali Pirate War, here is an update.