Forbes has released its annual list of the world's billionaires, and while we can't really be bothered to care about the net worth of foreign industrialists or computer geeks, we find it pretty interesting to see some numbers attached to the money hordes DreamWorks founders David Geffen (#140 on the list) and Steven Spielberg (#245). As Forbes' charts clearly demonstrate (we Photoshopped a little clarification on to the somewhat inscrutable rings-around-the-ten-figure-phallus chart, where the lower the red ring, the greater fortune—get it? Neither do we, really.), Spielberg is only the second-richest billionaire at DW, a humiliating fact with which Geffen cruelly taunts the much poorer director during the monthly money-burning parties at his Malibu compound.

Despite our prayers that all Golden Globes coverage had ceased at the close of business yesterday, more HFPA-related fun was still trickling out from other outlets after we signed off yesterday. Over at The Envelope, Richard "Kudos Crasher" Rushfield filed his man-in-the-ballroom report, capped with this fascinating, claustrophobic exchange between handsy red carpet loose cannon Isaac Mizrahi and bite-sized DreamWorks mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg:

· Paramount prepares a bid for DreamWorks SKG, obviously fulfilling a secret deal with Steven Spielberg and David Geffen to drive up their studio's price for inevitable purchaser Universal. For his cooperation, Brad Grey will receive a truckload of stuffed E.T. dolls and unlimited weekend stays at Geffen's Malibu compound—including optional day-long shiatsu massage by the strongest-handed masseuse the Gay Mafia has to offer. [THR/Reuters]
· It's like First & 10 meets Unscripted, but the actors are taller: George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh's Section Eight sets up an unscripted comedy series about the NBA at HBO. [Variety]
· Spelling Television lets go of almost all of its staff, prejudicially shitcanning about 25 employees. (No word on whether Aaron Spelling's personal office chef escaped the bloodletting.) The company keeps its bigwigs and becomes a mere pod at Paramount TV. [THR]
· Scarlett Johansson continues to Hoover up all available mid-20s female roles, signing on for Christopher Nolan's dueling-magician pic The Prestige. [Variety]
· Jeff Probst will host Survivor for at least 2 more years, including the franchise's most ambitious installment to date, Survivor: Locked in a Janitorial Closet with a Well-Criscoed Richard Hatch. [Variety]

A reader demonstrates what might have been land-hogging mogul David Geffen's greatest fear upon being compelled to finally surrender access to the public beach behind his Malibu compound: po' folk—he's a billionaire, remember, so this includes anyone from the help to Jennifer Aniston—wandering onto the high-quality sand to gape at the shady bidness he's conducting out of his oceanside Gay Mafia Xanadu:

Peggy Archer of the Totally Unauthorized blog took full advantage of the public's court-ordered right to cavort on the stretch of Carbon Beach that was once walled off from the unwashed masses by Malibu feudal lord David Geffen. Braving the gauntlet of pit bulls trained to attack beachgoers who don't smell like hundred-dollar bills, the fifty-yard run through tires filled with broken glass, and, of course, the tazer-happy Gay Mafia security detail given a mandate to shock the genitals of anyone who casts as much as a sidelong glance at Geffen's stronghold, turns out to be worth the trouble:

Laugh at Johnny Knoxville's tabloid-attracting, alleged Jessica Simpson-porking activities if you must, but he's obviously got the entertainment business figured out:

According to the LA Business Journal (via The Malibu Times), with a net worth of $4.3 billion, entertainment mogul/public beach gatekeeper David Geffen is the richest man in Malibu. Huzzah! Unfortunately, the announcement was tinged with sadness, as the congratulatory parade of rent-boys sent to Geffen by the Malibu Chamber of Commerce was tragically gunned down by an overzealous zealous member of the Gay Mafia don's security detail for marching too close to Geffen's compound without authorization. (Really, they should've called ahead.) If Geffen plans on wearing the "Malibu's Richest Man" sash the parade was attempting to deliver, he's going to have to send it out to the dry cleaner. Those blood stains are a bitch to get out.

A mere twenty-two years after David Geffen promised to allow access to the public beach blocked by his enormous Gay Mafia Xanadu, the entertainment mogul finally turned over keys to the gate that will allow the Malibu common folk to frolic in the sand. To Geffen's credit, once he finally exhausted all possible legal delays and was forced to hand over the keys, he did his best to ensure that his Passage to the Pacific is as warm and welcoming as possible for the coastal interlopers:

· Rick Sands, the Miramax COO hardened by years of Harvey Weinstein's cat o' nine tails, assumes the title of president and CEO of DreamWorks. He'll report to David Geffen, whom we expect will issue a totally different kind of daily beating than the ones Sands grew accustomed to at The Max. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· You hardly needed this told to you: Shrek 2 was the highest selling home video title in 2004. DreamWorks Animation's Jeffrey Katzenberg can now flush entire stacks of hundred dollar bills down the toilet, whereas before he had to peel them off one by one. [THR]
· Just because there's nothing to do in the first week of the year but count the piles of money: Sony wins the year in North American box office thanks to Spider-man 2, while Warner Bros. takes the international box office crown [THR, Variety]
· Paramount execs were taken by surprise by the stories that Brad Grey has been anointed as the next studio head, feeling they weren't consulted. Hmm, maybe they weren't told because they're all about to get fired? [Variety]
· Jerry Bruckheimer gets two drama pilot pickups, including E-Ring for NBC, a supposed West Wing in the Pentagon. Maybe it's time he gets his own channel. Jerry's Steaming Pile of Derivative Shit TV has kind of a nice sound to it. [THR]