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A reader demonstrates what might have been land-hogging mogul David Geffen's greatest fear upon being compelled to finally surrender access to the public beach behind his Malibu compound: po' folk—he's a billionaire, remember, so this includes anyone from the help to Jennifer Aniston—wandering onto the high-quality sand to gape at the shady bidness he's conducting out of his oceanside Gay Mafia Xanadu:

Spotted David Geffen having brunch with Joel Silver on the deck of Geffen's INCREDIBLE Carbon Beach house on Sunday. We took advantage of the public access beach in front of his incredible display of wealth and watched longingly from the sand as Geffen's man servant catered to their every whim while we picked sand out of our bag of grapes.

Unfortunately, the plans for world domination being hatched over some eggs florentine shall remain unknown; next time, maybe the Carbon Beach visitors will realize that a telephoto lens and directional microphones are even more fun to play with than a shovel and bucket.