• The fashion publicist/socialite who moonlighted as a computer hacker? This is going to make for a fabulous movie. It seems Ali Wise (right), the Dolce & Gabanna public relations director, professional socializer, and ex-girlfriend of hotelier Jason Pomeranc was arrested this week for using her computer to wiretap and eavesdrop on interior designer/social butterfly Nina Freudenberger (left). The worst part? Wise was held overnight in an jail cell and wasn't given any special treatment, poor thing. [NYDN, P6]
• Wise wasn't the only nightlife fixture behind bars this week. Wass Stevens, NYC's most famous club doorman, was arrested for whacking a man with the metal end of a velvet rope outside Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss's Avenue the other night. Stevens says the man acted up when he was refused entry, which sounds a pretty likely scenario. [P6]

Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.

Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger are so doing it, Kevin Jonas is engaged, Hayden Panetierre is totally naked in her new movie, Tinsley Mortimer is dating a German aristocrat and Mischa Barton gets kicked out of a London nightclub's bathroom.

• Coco Rocha may not be interning at Vogue this summer, but Tallulah Belle Willis, the 15-year-old daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, is spending the next couple of months "shadowing" at Harper's Bazaar. [FWD, WWD]
• Goodwill stores are experiencing a boom, as you may have heard. Sales were up 7 percent in the first three months of 2009 compared to the same time period last year. [NYT]
• The fragrance industry introduces an average of 250 scents ever year. And you know what? That's probably a few too many. [NYT]

It's been a rough few months for aging British musicians, apparently. According to the Sunday Times, Elton John's net worth has plummeted by 26 percent on account of the financial crisis. Mick Jagger is down 16 percent and is now worth a mere $280 million. And Eric Clapton's net worth now stands at $176 million, since his fortune has dwindled by 14 percent over the last year. Good news (or bad news, depending on your perspective): The paper reports David and Victoria Beckham's wealth is unchanged. [Bloomberg]

• After a handful of false alarms (and after claiming they were weren't even engaged) Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen finally got married yesterday, tying the knot in a small ceremony at a Catholic church in Santa Monica. [Us, People]
• It looks like Jeremy Piven won't be penalized for walking away from Speed-the-Plow, since officials from Actors' Equity and the Broadway League couldn't come to a consensus at his hearing yesterday. [NYT, NYP]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay Kimora $40,000 a month in child support until their daughters turn 19. [People]
• Derek Jeter is supposedly dating a 22-year-old FIT student. Given she enjoys playing his voicemails for her group of friends, you probably shouldn't expect the relationship to last very long. [NYDN]

• Kate Moss has been telling friends that she wants to branch out into acting so she can become a "Hollywood star," and that she's already lined up an agent in New York. [Showbiz Spy]
• Michael Phelps has issued an apology after photos appeared this weekend in the News of the World showing him smoking weed. [NYP, NOTW]
• Bernie Madoff's grandkids are considering changing their last names. [P6]
• John Thain was hardly the first or the last: Clive Davis, Martin Bandier, and Rolf Schmidt-Holtz have all spent obscene amounts in recent years to redecorate their offices, too. [R&M]
• Despite the fact her magazine is losing millions and has laid off dozens, Portfolio's Joanne Lipman insisted on flying first class to Davos. [P6]

• Is Jennifer Aniston planning to steal the spotlight away from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the Oscars by showing up to the ceremony with John Mayer and with a ring on her finger? Maybe! [Star]
• Alex Rodriguez either spent last weekend hanging out with Madonna at Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld's East Hampton mansion, or he spent it partying with Bill Clinton and Spike Lee in the Bahamas, depending on what you read. [P6, NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan's rep says LiLo can't be anorexic since she "ate two full meals" during a recent photo shoot. It's settled! [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's mom says 800 people have already joined her daughter's Tribeca gym, which hasn't even been finished yet. [NYDN]

• Channels like MTV, Comedy Central and Nickelodeon will no longer be available to Time Warner Cable customers beginning at midnight, unless Viacom and Time Warner settle a dispute over fees. [Bloomberg]
• The Village Voice has laid off Nat Hentoff and Lynn Yaeger. [NYT]
• Ratings for MTV's The City and Bromance were disappointing. [THR]
• Pepsi is parting ways with its longtime pitchman David Beckham. [AdAge]
• Hustler publisher Larry Flynt is feuding with his nephews over their plans to launch an adult media company of their own. [NYP]
• Nick Denton's Gawker Media has sold off a site and is selling another. [NYT]
• It's not all bad news these days for journalists, clearly. [THR]

David Beckham walking around town with his sons on Saturday morning and later joining up with Victoria to take them to see Jersey Boys ... Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. walking their dog and drinking coffee ... Britney Spears arriving at JFK yesterday ... The Jonas Brothers signing autographs outside their hotel ... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes buying candy at the M&M's store in Times Square with Suri and Isabella ... Natalie Portman filming scenes for her new movie ... Hillary and Chelsea Clinton leaving Billy Elliot on Broadway ... Taylor Momsen standing on the Gossip Girl set ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts walking downtown with cups of coffee in hand ... Miley Cyrus arriving at her hotel, accompanied by her mom and boyfriend, Justin Gaston ... and Tyra Banks leaving dinner with boyfriend John Utendahl.

The Case of the Sticky-Fingered Domestics. The British tabloid press is reporting that Gareth Emmett, 25, has been arrested for suspected burglary following the arrest of parents Eric and June Emmett—who happen to be David and Victoria Beckham’s housekeepers. "[Posh's] dad Tony first became suspicious after being alerted to the personal nature of some memorabilia that was being flogged on eBay. He and wife Jackie checked them out – and were horrified to discover they were identical to items that should have been at their daughter’s mansion." Dammit! Just when we thought that orange bathrobe was practically in our hot little hands. [Daily Mail]

♦ Is Lauren Bush supporting Barack Obama? Maybe. The niece of the president praised the Democratic nominee in a recent interview and she decided against using her family name for her new clothing line, Lauren Pierce, taking her grandmother's maiden name instead. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are either engaged or splitting up, depending on what you read. [Daily Mail, MSN]
♦ Marc Jacobs is supposedly jealous that his ex, Jason Preston, is dating someone else, even though he has a new boyfriend of his own, too. [P6]
♦ He can't afford a plane, but Diddy did get to upgrade to a new Rolls-Royce last week. [P6]
♦ In a new memoir, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch) says she used to trade sex for coke. [NYDN]

♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦ Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦ Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]

Kate Winslet picking up her kids from school with her ex-husband, Jim Threapleton ... David and Victoria Beckham shopping on Fifth Avenue ... Michelle Williams' daughter Matilda walking in the rain with her nanny ... Mariska Hargitay walking on the street ... Ali Larter outside the Today show ... Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and Suri leaving Alice's Tea Cup on East 64th Street ... Jennifer Hudson showing up to an appearance on BET's 106 & Park ... Michael Cera and Julia Louis-Dreyfus outside the Letterman show ... Jennifer Lopez making an appearance at Macy's in Herald Square for the launch of her new fragrance ... Rapper T.I. leaving the Waverly Inn ... and Britney Spears leaving Serendipity 3 with a bunch of handlers.

Matt Damon unpacking luggage with his wife and daughter in front of his apartment building on Lafayette Street ... Britney Spears arriving at JFK ... Cameron Diaz walking in the Village with boyfriend Paul Sculfor ... David and Victoria Beckham making an appearance at Macy's in Herald Square for the launch of their new fragrance ... Taylor Momsen on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri and then later heading to dinner with Tom at Il Valentino on East 56th Street ... Anne Hathaway leaving the premiere of The Class at Avery Fisher Hall ... Jennifer Hudson at the airport ... James Franco looking at his Blackberry ... Brooke Shields leaving NBC after an appearance on Conan O'Brien's show ... and Michelle Williams leaving the premiere of her new movie, Wendy and Lucy, at the Ziegfeld Theater.

• A visiting Kim Kardashian was rushed to New York-Presbyterian late last night after she cut her foot on a glass coffee table at her hotel. [TMZ]

Today on Fox News' morning show Fox & Friends, discussion turned to well-hung soccer star David Beckham. And cohost Brian Kilmeade got outed for having a big gay crush on him! Female co-anchor Gretchen Carlson says he called Beckham "gorgeous," which leaves Brian tongue-tied like a (gay) little schoolgirl. He mumbles about how, hey, anybody can tell Beckham is attractive; then heterosexual cohost Steve Doocy looks at him with an expression that says, "Sure, flamer." Then Kilmeade runs off the set in embarassment-probably to go masturbate to a picture of David Beckham. Click to watch this stunning example of News Corp.'s homosexuality exposed.

What fun it must be to have a baby, get married, or turn one year older if you’re lucky enough to be chummy with Village People Fan Club president Tom Cruise. As a card-carrying member of Tom’s inner circle of disco-dancing Xenu-fearing tribe of pals, new mom Nicole Kidman had the joy of receiving one of Cruise’s trademark lavish gifts — as People reports, the birth of little Sunday Urban prompted Nicole’s ex-partner in bearded crime to send over a huge “high-end” gift basket filled to the brim with fancy baby must-haves. But after reviewing Tom’s history of gifting his nearest and dearest with incredibly bizarre and, at times, inappropriate items, we suspect his inclusion of “Giraffe baby blankets” might actually be a subtle swipe at Kidman’s tendency to resemble the long-necked drowsy animal. Cruise’s unnerving presents of the past to fellow Tom-ophiles like Dakota Fanning and Katie Holmes, after the jump.

• The new 90210 just got a whole lot better because Shannon "My Career Will Never Die" Doherty is in talks to play Brenda Walsh. Oh Hells Yeah. [Perez Hilton]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Britney Spears huffing smokes while eating poolside chicken fingers.