The biggest disasters always build up slowly. Here is what history indicates is looming around the corner for us.

Don’t let anybody tell you a street fight is not an attack on your life.

A new survey released on Tuesday morning reveals details of what we had all feared: People who drive cars are not just texting their friends while behind the wheel, they’re also using their time cruising to tweet, update Facebook, and shoot videos. Why bother living when you could be dead instead?

A crazy thing to do is kill another person. A less crazy thing to do is to take an axe to a tree in the Upper West Side and deplete it of the nutrients it needs to survive. The latter, however, is still a bad and terrible way to release your anger, so if it was you—own up!

"Unruly costumed performers become global menace" is the headline of a story in the "News" section of a major metropolitan newspaper today. The story concerns people who don plush, oversized cartoon character costumes as a profession.

Bees: winged bombs of fiery poison; bright invaders from above; nectar thieves with barbs of fury. We are saddened to report to you that our call for a War on Bees has gone unheeded, and—as a predictable result—Americans have died.

A woman was taken to the hospital with a cut to her leg after a buzzsaw being used in construction in Midtown Manhattan broke off its machine and came flying down the street.

"Detroit," the name of an area of ruins that was a vast manufacturing center in ancient times, is having a tough run. It's lost a million residents. It's gone bankrupt. But one thing Detroit can still be proud of: its roaming packs of wild dogs.

Have you talked with your teen about the dangers of inhaling blow darts?

Toilet seats: your penis belongs dangling in front them, not crushed underneath them, but try telling that to America’s dumb kids. A new study published in urology journal BJU International (summarized in Reuters under the ominous headline “Falling toilet seats: Rare but growing risk for boys”) found that emergency room visits prompted by toilet seats slamming down onto little boys’ penises with the righteous fury of an angry God increased by a rate of 100 per year between 2002 and 2010.

Sometimes you have to wonder why kids these days are so fucked up. You know who I blame? I'll tell you: I blame the parents. Where do you think kids learned how to be fucked up? From you, okay? They learned it by watching you.

Nestlé has issued a voluntary recall of some packages of LEAN CUISINE® Culinary Collection Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli and Glass Shards, after three customers reported finding shards of glass inside their slimy noodle pockets.

In New York City last year, 141 were struck by subway trains, and 55 were killed. There have been several recent high-profile deaths on the tracks, including one that made the cover of the NY Post. Falling (or being pushed) in front of a train is a classic nightmare scenario. So what should we do to prevent it? Well... something cheap, if anything.

Hungry turtles, angry jellyfish, explosions, drowning, and other hazards of life as a professional deep sea diver.

Is your child going to be killed by a falling TV? Have you even thought about it? Probably not, because what do you even care? You never loved me, and you're not my real mom anyhow. The point here is, the next falling TV may land on top of your child.

Las Vegas residents complain that housing chimps in your backyard is a "safety issue." Man. That town used to be cool.

Years ago, when an acquaintance of mine in Florida heard I was going to visit New York City, he replied, with complete seriousness, "New York City, huh? You wanna take my pistol?" This is because all those local yokel out-of-towners down south still imagine New York to be a dark, dangerous land prowled by muggers and rapists. The fools! NYC is safer than ever. Unless you're that one terribly unlucky person.

The Wall Street Journal today takes on a thorny question that's wracking the collective consciences of corporate boards from coast to coast: when does a CEO's private hobby become too dangerous? As natural leaders driven to excel and seek thrills in both their private lives and their careers, it's no wonder that many CEOs enjoy flying their own small planes, or even sky diving. Considering the responsibilities they have to their employees and shareholders, should CEOs of huge public corporation really be allowed to engage in risky behavior that holds a chance of serious injury or death?

¡Viva la Mexico! There's never been a better time to visit our sunny neighbor to the south. Tourists, business travelers, and hotel chains like Marriott and Hilton are all "piling into the market."

Have you been under the impression that now, a decade after 9/11, you could stop fearing the ubiquitous Mysterious White Powder that could—at any moment—come spilling out of a nearby envelope, forcing you to evacuate your office? Wrong!