Detroit Beset By Wild Dogs
"Detroit," the name of an area of ruins that was a vast manufacturing center in ancient times, is having a tough run. It's lost a million residents. It's gone bankrupt. But one thing Detroit can still be proud of: its roaming packs of wild dogs.
Though other cities may jeer at Detroit's troubles while pompously displaying their "functional city governments" and "plumbing that has not been torn out," none of those cities can match Detroit when it comes to the viciousness and ubiquity of the canine mobs controlling their streets. It's just a little something that Detroit residents can hang their hat on, when the going gets tough. Bloomberg reports that "as many as 50,000" homeless dogs stride proudly through the city's the highways and byways, unrestrained by leashes, collars, or human masters. These dogs are in many ways representative of the proud spirit of Detroit, which refuses to give up even when it's been abandoned by its loved ones and left to rot in the streets of, you know, Detroit.
Sure, other towns have their stray dogs. And other towns have their occasional snapping pit bull, ready to bite anything that approaches. But none of those places can instill toughness in any and all dogs quite like Detroit:
Aggressive dogs force the U.S. Postal Service to temporarily halt mail delivery in some neighborhoods, said Ed Moore, a Detroit-area spokesman. He said there were 25 reports of mail carriers bitten by dogs in Detroit from October through July...
Mail carrier Catherine Guzik told of using pepper spray on swarms of tiny, ferocious dogs in a southwest Detroit neighborhood.
“It’s like Chihuahuaville,” Guzik said as she walked her route.
Keep your "adequate social services" and "economic activity sufficient to support life," snooty coastal cities. Detroit has gangs of killer chihuahuas. And no one can take that away from them. (Except creditors.)
