Even though it seems that preternaturally talented rape-prevention spokesperson Dakota Fanning is maturing normally, her agents know all too well that the onset of puberty could still bring a career-crippling case of Osmentism, and are aggressively exploring all options for capitalizing upon their client's current high profile. At left, as pointed out by the Copyranter blog, Fanning turns up in the March issue of Elle as the fresh, pre-teen face of Marc Jacobs; at right, Team Fanning gets creative with a mass e-mail campaign jointly promoting hotly discussed Sundance entry Hounddog and some exciting penny-stock investing opportunities.

Unless you happened to be at one of the Sundance screenings for infamous Dakota Fanning rape-awareness project Hounddog this week, your experience of the controversial scene depicting the tragic despoiling of America's Preteen Sweetheart is probably limited to hysterical soundbites about its moral equivalency to the fellating of an aroused Martin Luther King Jr. statue and counter-soundbites concerning the tastefulness of its non-child-endangering execution. Should you wish to explore the matter further and become a better-informed critic (or defender) of Team Fanning's attempt to push her over the "adolescent hump" and into mature, Oscar-winner territory, Smoking Gun has obtained the relevant Hounddog script pages, complete with the subtle symbolism of quivering young hands being bloodily impaled on the rusty nails of lost innocence and punctuating flashes of dramatic lightning one might expect to find in such a scene. As we are fond of saying when we send you off to experience something that you should not actually enjoy: Enjoy.

• 'Hounddog,' the movie featuring Dakota Fanning's ostensibly cheeky, adorable rape scene, couldn't find a buyer at Sundance. Also, Roger Friedman complains that "There is no point that I can find to the child's rape." What, giving us all a chuckle isn't enough of a point? [FoxNews]
  

Perhaps prompted to comment after being more psychologically scarred by Catholic League Righteous Outrage Coordinator William Donahue's conjuring of the image of the oral servicing of a statue of a tumescent Martin Luther King than by anything in the Sundance movie in which her character is controversially raped, 12-year-old thespian Dakota Fanning finally spoke out on the fading uproar over Hounddog:

· Pictured: At this morning's Oscar nominations announcement, Salma Hayek is thrilled to learn that Academy president Sid Ganis was just kidding when he told her that part of her duty as co-presenter was to give him a topless hot-oil massage at the conclusion of the press conference.
· While everyone's in an uproar over the Dakota Fanning rape movie at Sundance, no one's said anything about the one where Fanning rapes Rainn Wilson, a truly disturbing double-standard.
· Anna Nicole Smith is exactly as literate as you'd suspected.
· Jamie Foxx is exactly as classy as you'd suspected.
· It might be time for DreamWorks to cut down on that Dreamgirls For Your Consideration budget.
· Quickly, before he takes the podium: Here's your State of the Union drinking game.

· If you're trying to pinpoint the exact moment when the controversy over Sundance's Hounddog (aka, The Dakota Fanning Rape Project) officially became a circus, we recommend you consider this quote from Officially Outraged Catholic League Media Whore William Donahue, who refuses to see exactly what he's protesting: "If someone tells me that there's a statue of Martin Luther King with an erection receiving oral sex, I don't need to see it." [Variety]
· Pariah producing partners Gavin Polone and Jamie Tarses break up after 14 months of working together. Polone rebounds into an overall deal at HBO, while Tarses sticks around with a new deal at Sony Pictures TV. If you're wondering about the children already in development, the parents are maintaining joint custody. [THR]
· Among Var's Oscar fun facts: sound mixer Kevin O'Connell (Apocalypto) gets a chance to break his all-time record for nominations without a win by scoring his 19th bid. Also, Alan Arkin has gone 28 years in between nominations. [Variety]
· At last, a measure of vindication for persecuted showrunner Aaron Sorkin: Studio 60's ratings are up slightly following a long hiatus of first-run episodes. [THR]
· Coming-of-age film Son of Rambow finally inspires a Sundance bidding war that allows the trades to invoke last year's Little Miss Sunshine insanity. [Variety]

· Pictured: At the press conference officially opening the 2007 Sundance Film Festival earlier this afternoon, Robert Redford addressed the media: "Hey, guys. Did you hear that we've got that movie where Dakota Fanning gets...how do I say this? Raped. Yeah, I know...heavy, powerful stuff. What, she's here? Hey, Dakota! You're gonna get that Oscar nomination, I just know you are, kid. You didn't surrender your innocence for nothing. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, we've also got that documentary about the guy who was fucked to death by a horse. Check it out. Nutty."
· Ryan Seacrest is shocked that Angelina Jolie wouldn't even pretend she could tolerate his pointless red carpet questions.
· The WOW Report got thisclose to getting Lindsay Lohan on the phone from the Wonderland Rehabilitation Clinic and Luxury Day Spa.
· Nikki Finke dives deep into Brad Grey's "boorish" table-hopping at the Globes.
· In just a little over four hours, you can engage in some hott cyber with the Horny Manatee.
· This is exactly what it would sound like if Matthew McConaughey forgot to get your Dr. Pepper.

Regular Defamer readers are by now familiar with a certain indie drama whose progress we have been closely following, set to make its debut at the 2007 Sundance festival. What we've been referring to as the Untitled Dakota Fanning Rape Project—both for its preternaturally gifted and precocious star (Dakota Fanning), and the shocking yet Oscar-worthy act of violence at its center (her rape)—finally appears to have settled on a title: Hounddog. In an exclusive interview with Premiere magazine (it doesn't appear to be online yet, but an OhNoTheyDidn't reader was good enough to scan it in), director Deborah Kampmeier talks about her struggles since the details about her script were released to the press: Among other adjustments, she's had to hire someone just to "screen her hate mail"—a job most Hollywood agents traditionally refer to as "an assistant." She also opens up about the shooting of the actual rape:

While less dedicated, world-famous child stars would be content to fritter away the last moments of their pre-teen earning years by playing with solid-gold Barbie dolls or by getting a head start on a lifelong substance abuse problem, the preternaturally ambitious Dakota Fanning is already thinking several steps ahead in her already impressive career:

Today's NY Times story on the films entered into competition at the 2007 Sundance Festival Of Film, Open Bars, And Swag Suites updated us on the journey of a project we first heard about in July, back when it was struggling for financing to complete the shoot and the agent of its talented, pre-teen star was raving about how proud she was of her client's ability to convincingly portray the violent taking of her innocence:

· We assumed that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pulled off this height-levelling illusion by having the bride stand in a two foot hole hidden beneath her wedding dress, but the WOW Report's X-ray technology seems to disprove our initial hypothesis.
Silly Maldivians! If the newlyweds weren't talking to the Italians who built them shrines, what makes you think they're going to want to chat with you?
If A-Gold is worth $4 million a script, we bet the J-Lo can get at least twice that amount for her scribblings.
Denzel Washington might be harboring an inappropriate crush on Man on Fire co-star Dakota Fanning. [fourth item]
· We could care less what this "scientific study" says; in our heart of hearts, we know we're living in the most coketastic city in the entire world. On that note: See you Friday! (Yup, we're working, even if you're not.)

A Defamer operative out on his late afternoon Jamba Juice break probably didn't expect to come face-to-face with Hollywood greatness on Halloween, but that's exactly what happened, prompting him to file this brief report of his brush with the Queen of Child Actresses (who disappointingly seems to have recycled her costume for a recent charity event) yesterday:

A reader lent a hand with our semi-regular feature in which we assist CBS in casting its trademark, sensational ripped-from-the-headlines Movies of the Week by suggesting quirky character actor Tim Blake Nelson for the part of the fugitive polygamist Warren Steed Jeffs, who stands accused of child rape for arranging marriages between men and underage girls and who may have as many of 40 wives of his own, in what we'll give the working title Bigger Love: The Capture Of Warren Steed Jeffs. A gifted actor and near-perfect physical match, Nelson will quickly secure the role by storming into CBS's casting offices and demonstrating how he's already able to make his carotid artery, which figured prominently in Jeffs' arrest, throb on command. And just to get a head start on filling out the cast so the network can rush into production while the story's still hot, we humbly offer up Dakota Fanning to play all of Jeffs' dozens of underage brides, a challenge worthy of her preternatural acting gifts.

After a nearly month-long cliffhanger following former child actor/current former child actor cliché Haley Joel Osment's possibly alcohol-assisted destruction of a perfectly good 1995 Saturn, TMZ.com reports that Osment has been charged with four criminal counts of DUI and pot possession, including the the very technical-sounding "enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher," as well as a less jargon-heavy, "Well lookee here, did Mr. "I See Dead People" think we weren't gonna find that big old joint in the glove compartment?" accusation. With this impressive array of charges, Osment sets the bar intimidatingly high for fellow preternaturally polished child performer Dakota Fanning's inevitable flame-out, which will need to include the crashing of a monster truck full of heroin into her agency's lobby while wearing a tattered, ill-fitting Girl Scout uniform to equal her predecessor's feat.

Frustrated that preternaturally gifted child actress Dakota Fanning has failed to take home Hollywood's biggest individual award after half a decade of stardom, Fanning's mother and agent are anxious to push the 12-year-old's career to the next level through the careful selection of the type of completely non-exploitative, child-rape-related roles that tend to get the Academy's attention. Reports NY Daily News JV gossip Lloyd Grove:

• In an effort to prove herself as a serious actress, child star Dakota Fanning will appear naked and in a rape scene for the movie Hounddog. Also, this may be the first and only time Lloyd Grove succeeds in a jaw-dropping item. Way to go out with an extremely uncomfortable bang, buddy. [Lowdown]
• Britney Spears reveals her hidden literary talent, revealing on her website her secret passion for tigers. It's some of her best work, featuring multisyllabic words like "mesmerized" and "mysteriousness." [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton has feelings too, you know. When TMZ readers call her "an overused human condom," it hurts Hilton, who calls the comments "mean and sadistic." That's a big word, Paris — now try telling us what it means. [TMZ]
• "Somebody" hacks into Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry and uses it to send all sorts of unfavorable messages to her friends. Seems as if young Hollywood is plagued by this sort of problem more than gonorrhea. [Page Six]
• 31 years later, Rolling Stone Keith Richards is pardoned for getting stoned in Memphis. [R&M (last item)]
• Haley Joel Osment is old enough to drive and get in an accident. [People]
• Daniel Baldwin is old enough to drive and get in an accident and have no one give a shit. [BBC]

· The trades have Emmy fever! Browse their lists of this year's nominees and join in the fun! [Variety, THR]
· The stars react to their nominations with an refreshing mix of humility, surprise, and surprised humility! Really, it's an honor just to be reading about these nominations. [Variety, THR ]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Defiling Christmas Edition: The evil stocking-plunderers at NBC will make a completely unnecessary live-action version of the 1974 stop-motion animation classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, with John Goodman starring as Santa. [Variety]
· David Duchovny, whom we'd assumed had given up acting for a quieter life bagging groceries somewhere in Montana, will join Benicio del Toro and Halle Berry in the highly buzzed about DreamWorks project Things We Lost in the Fire. [THR]
· Dakota Fanning is among 120 new invitees to join AMPAS, all of whom she plans to ruthlessly slaughter in an attempt to show fellow Academy members who's going to be running things for the next forty years. [Variety]

· Sony shocks! the! world! by signing Da Vinci Code screenwriter Akiva Goldsman to adapt Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, and hopes to reunite the rest of the Blasphemy Dream Team of star Tom Hanks, director Ron Howard, and producer Brian Grazer for the project. [Variety]
· Teri Hatcher will provide the voice of star Dakota Fanning's mother in the animated feature Coraline. We predict a hair-yanking catfight that would put any Desperate Housewives shenanigans to shame should the two actresses' paths ever cross at the studio. [THR]
· Maybe Sony really did send someone to count up all the 60-cent pirate Da Vinci Code DVDs sold on the black market, as overseas grosses came in $8 million higher than originally reported. [Variety]
· Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee now has "Fuck you, English" money, will make the Chinese-language espionage thriller Lust, Caution his next project. [THR]
· The season finale of 24, in which superagent Jack Bauer (SPOILER ALERT) rushed from place to place to kick people's asses and save the world, averaged about 13.5 million viewers, while Alias's series finale went out with the proverbial whimper. That Jennifer Garner really needs to get drunk and tackle a Christmas tree. [Variety]

Twelve short years ago on this very day, Hollywood history was changed forever by the birth of Hannah Dakota Fanning, the pint-sized actress who in just over a decade of life has already left an indelible imprint on the craft of acting. Let's all share a warm smile while we reflect upon the child star's staggering list of accomplishments (Can play the violin! Knits scarves! Career survived co-starring with Tom Cruise!), knowing that somewhere Fanning's celebrating her special day by sitting in front of her birthday cake, patiently waiting for her mother to extinguish the candles with her face as a display of loyalty to her breadwinning daughter.

With the War of the Worlds publicity tour's instant transformation into the Tom, Katie, and L. Ron Roadshow, we quickly forgot that eerily precocious master thespian Dakota Fanning was even in the film. This morning, however, Page Six cites a W magazine interview in which former E! red carpet attack dog Kathy Griffin reveals that WoTW director Steven Spielberg threatened Griffin with inclusion on his official, career-devouring shit list if she refused to apologize for a joke she made on the Golden Globes carpet about the A-list moppet going to rehab. Griffin, realizing that she was in far greater danger of losing the opportunity to dust Spielberg's antiques than one to star in his movies, laughed off the strong-arm tactic: