What Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme and other upper-class scandals of the season tell us: Staying rich is not as easy as it looks. Sometimes it requires incredibly dumb and desperate acts.

A laid-off California man dressed in a Santa suit opened fire on a Christmas Eve party at his in-laws' house and torched the building. Eight people died. "Naughty" doesn't begin to cover it.

Bernie Madoff is facing a long stretch in prison for bilking investors out of $50 billion, and plenty of theories have been batted around as to what might have motivated Madoff to carry out his devious scheme. Was it just about the money? Did he feel any sense of shame as he ripped off hundreds of investors and non-profits? And will there be any sort of redemption for Madoff at the end of the day? To get a little perspective on what it's like to carry out a massive financial fraud, keep the scam going undetected for years, eventually get caught, and then account for the wrongdoing, we turned to someone who's been through all that (and more): Sam Antar, who, along with his cousin Eddie Antar, built Crazy Eddie into a electronics powerhouse in the '70s and '80s until the company came crashing down and the Antars were indicted on a variety of charges.

Yaay! It's time for Barack Obama's report on the internal investigation into the Blago mess!

A dead man and 18 others currently not in prison received coveted pardons from President Bush today, as he continues to just fuck with us on his way out of office.

Later this afternoon, Barack Obama's office will release its report on his staff's contacts with disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Then they will all skip town.

The Sopranos and A Bronx Tale star Lillo Brancato Jr., who three years ago was involved in a bungled burglary that left one cop dead and Brancato himself critically injured, was found not guilty.

As we've heard over the last couple of months, the recession has triggered a wave of crime and immorality. Today's Times confirms that shoplifting is on the rise, too, as people "are taking everything from compact discs and baby formula to gift cards and designer clothing." (The authorities say shoplifting is up 10 to 20 percent this year compared to last.) But the biggest criminal threat to retailers doesn't seem to be tragic individuals like the 25-year-old father of two who, after losing a job in a factory and then a job at McDonalds, tried to steal a $4.99 bottle of sleeping pills and is now awaiting trial. It's computers.

Allies of Hiram Monserrate, who "tripped" while "'bringing' his girlfriend a 'glass' of 'water'", have the worst idea of sympathetic spin ever.

All of the alleged Fort Dix plotters have been acquitted of attempted murder, but five have been convicted of "conspiring to kill military personnel." This is the end of their ridiculous trial.

While Paris Hilton's bedroom has no doubt seen its fair share of criminal action, rarely does it result in the heiress losing a whole $2 million.

Senator Orrin Hatch is one of those easily caricatured figures of cartoonishly prudish conservativism, so naturally everyone back home in Utah is now furious with him for associating with black criminals.

According to Obama's office's report on Rahm Emanuel and his BFF ROD BLAGJEVICH, Rahm did nothing wrong, so leave him alone.

Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat and state senator-elect, will be taking his oath of office on January 1, even though he allegedly slashed his girlfriend's face with a broken glass.

Here is your flat-world global economy: Siemens, the German engineering conglomerate, just paid $1.6 billion in fees for all the bribery they've been up to since the end of World War II, back when they were Nazis.

What happened to Terry Drayton, the tech CEO whose company allegedly stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from kids' sports clubs? Why, he's Seattle Business's new cover boy.

Guys, the Robin Givhan piece on Rod Blagojevich is here! She writes about his hilarious hair!

Good news: the mother of Sarah Palin's daughter's boyfriend was not arrested for meth. No, Sherry Johnston was arrested for oxycontin. What wonderful communities our small towns are.

Former General Services Administration chief of staff David Safavian was just convicted of obstruction of justice for lying to federal investigators about a 2002 golf trip financed by disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff (pictured, above)!

Things are bad when even an admitted gangster is furiously distancing himself from you. Bob Abbinanti may have admitted to running mob gambling rackets, but don't you accuse him of knowing Rod Blagojevich!