Why didn't SEC employees catch Bernie Madoff? Porn browsing. [ProPublica]

Live from downtown Chicago, corruptastic Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gave a statement and answered no questions. We were going to cover it live, but it was over in four minutes!

The Siege of the New School, in which students occupied buildings, fought off cops, and terrified school president Bob Kerrey, has ended. Revolution wins! Exclusive first hand journalism—and wanton violence—below:

The mom of Levi Johnston—first daughter candidate Bristol Palin's uncomfortable jock boyfriend—has been arrested on drug charges. Law and order Republicans now support Obama! Because this sounds vaguely like a meth lab:

Alleged $50 billion swindler Bernie Madoff has been confined to his house between the hours of 9 p.m. and 7 a.m. Ah, but which house?

Someone stole $6 from MSNBC's Mika Brzezinkski, outside her fancy Washington DC hotel. It was such a terrible mugging that Joe Scarborough complained about it, to the mayor, on the TV!

The FBI says the Chicago Tribune's Dec. 5 ROD BLAGOJEVICH scandal scoop didn't affect the timing of their Dec. 9 arrest, as had earlier been reported. That dude was so dirty they could just arrest him pretty much whenever, okay? [WSJ]

The courts are doing everything possible to make this nasty legal situation comfortable for Hedge Fund Hustler Bernie Madoff, who after all only set billions of dollars on fire. Stay home and rest, Bernie:

A deranged straphanger attempted to assault the MTA's chief executive with a shoe at a hearing today. Thankfully police apprehended the man and seized his deadly Oxfords.

Michael Sneed, Chicago's own Liz Smith, isn't letting the fact that she was revealed to be the preferred press mouthpiece of disgraced Guv Blagojevich stop her from continuing to weigh in.

Oh gee, yesterday the word was that Baghdad Shoe Hurler Muntader al-Zaidi could face seven years in prison. But then George W. Bush called for mercy, and now his possible sentence has doubled:

The financial sector is heavily and sufficiently regulated! It's a familiar refrain, but last year it was coming from rich-people-ponzi-scheme operator Bernie Madoff, who added that financial criminals were always caught very quickly.

Shana Madoff, whose uncle Bernie Madoff stands accused of defrauding investors of $50 billion, is the wife of Eric Swanson, a former top lawyer at the Securities and Exchange Commission. A goy, but well-placed!

The $50 billion Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme claimed lots of big-name victims. Now, a few days into the investigation, the Hollywood connections are coming out. Fun!

For the past few days we've been hearing about the long list of charities that lost millions in Bernie Madoff's elaborate Ponzi scheme. But what about Madoff's own charitable contributions? Although he's been widely described as a prominent donor to various Jewish causes, Madoff hasn't been giving away bundles of cash for some time now. In 2007, the Madoff Family Foundation, which listed $19 million in assets at the end of the year, reported handing out $95,000 over the course of the year, down more than 90 percent from the year before when the foundation gave away $1.2 million. Perhaps he had an inkling the end was near and decided to hold on to as much cash as possible?

Everybody knows what Bernie Madoff did—hustle a lot of people out of $50 billion. But nobody's really explained how he did it. Now we're finding out his purported "strategy" was obviously fake.

Raffaello Follieri will pay back millions! Oops, he's broke. [NYP]

A week into the scandal, this question's catching on: exactly how criminal was Rod Blagojevich's behavior? Or was it just tacky?

Oh dear: it seems that Muntader al-Zaidi, the heroic Baghdad Shoe Thrower, is being treated just about as well as we expected in custody. But there is a bright side:

In 1980, a vacationing Rod Blagojevich camped in front of Richard Nixon's home, with a friend, until the pariah ex-president emerged and this picture was taken. What the hell is wrong with this guy?