Craigslist replaced its much-maligned "erotic services" section with a more responsible "adult" section. So were prostitutes driven away by mandatory credit card payments and staff review of their ads? No, they just got more subtle. Hooker subtle!

American Entrepreneur, have you heard of Dubai? It is a capitalist paradise! A veritable Galt's Gulch of the Gulf. A playground for the wealthy built on cheap foreign labor, oil, tourism, and real estate speculation? What could go wrong!

It may take 15 years for Madoff victims to get their full payouts. Budget now!

Being a gambling mogul in the internet age is apparently just as dangerous as it was in the mob-infested Casino age: The 36 year-old founder of an online poker site was murdered in his home in Sweden last week.

A 47 year-old British drug cop nicknamed "Robocop" died of a heroin overdose. He had ecstasy and cocaine in his system as well. He had no previous offenses on his record and was an otherwise clean police officer. [The Sun]

An obese Houston man snuck a gun into jail underneath his massive flabs of flesh.

Ever hear of the Nicholas Roerich Museum? It's located on the Upper West Side. A tourist attraction it is not: The museum says it gets just 25 visitors a day. And yet "brazen art thieves" have hit the museum in two separate heists in recent weeks. Call us misguided, but "brazen" is storming into the Met with a dozen machine gun-toting friends and pulling a bunch of Van Goghs from the walls. This just suggests that New York City's art thieves have gotten lazy. Or maybe they've been busy transitioning to the booming business of bank robberies? [NYP]

The trustee for Bernie Madoff's victims filed a $45 million suit against Ruth Madoff last week. He hasn't succeeded in getting any money yet, but he has succeeded in further humiliating Ruth Madoff! She is basically a grounded teenager now.

Michael Douglas' son Cameron—co-star of the unfortunately-named It Runs In The Family—was busted last night in the Gansevoort Hotel for trying to sell a shitload of crystal meth.

This evening, a gunman opened fire on a Tel Aviv recreation center/cafe dedicated to supporting the area's gay community. Reports now list three dead, twelve injured, and most targets minors. And there's no question that this was a hate crime.

Felony charges against girlfriend-slashing New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate, a Democrat who briefly caucused with Republicans until the Democrats bought his loyalty back, will not be dropped.

A teenager in Kentucky was shot dead by a homeowner when he broke into the guy's house while crazy out of his mind on shrooms. God that's tragic. And on top of everything, he couldn't even get a cool obit:

Police say MC Hammer's cousin sexually assaulted a woman in a San Francisco-area hotel. Twitter will be in the lead of every story about this, and not just because that's where the accuser and accused met.

Yesterday veteran New Hampshire Union Leader sports reporter Kevin Provencher was arrested and charged with being a pimp. Seriously! Now we have the full criminal complaint against him; sexytime "auditions" and big money, below.

Ruth Madoff gave up everything in exchange for a new lease on life and $2.5 million. Now a representative of her husband's victims would like that $2.5 million back. Along with another $42.5 million.

Ali Wise, the publicist and social fixture accused of hacking into another socialite's voicemail, is going to have plenty of time to work on her defense from now on. WWD reports today that Wise is longer employed by Dolce & Gabbana. (Unfortunately, the fashion house wouldn't "elaborate" on her departure, so we don't know the specifics.) Don't think she's sitting at home watching bad television and eating ice cream, though. Judging by the number of exclamation points, it seems like she was in a pretty good mood last night when she headed out to attend the Pete Yorn concert. [WWD]

A new and exciting entry for the "Broke Journalists and Their Side Jobs" file: A veteran sports reporter at the Manchester Union Leader has been charged with being a pimp.

Todd Genger, a 33-year-old attorney for Goldman Sachs, was arrested yesterday for soliciting an undercover cop that he thought was a 15-year-old girl. That's criminal. Reaping billions in profit from surreptitious taxpayer bailouts, however, remains perfectly legal.

The Way We Live Now: Out of proportion. Small portions of the housing market may be stabilizing. The world economy may not collapse any further. Ah well. We're already fully invested in jewel thieving and brilliant ATM scams.

Republican dirty trickster and all-around complete fucking weirdo Roger Stone likes to kinda sorta take credit for the downfall of Eliot Spitzer, and he is still doing his darndest to keep the hooker thing in the news. So let's help!