A 17-year-old boy who threw eggs at Justin Bieber during a Sydney concert was arrested. He was charged with "breaking and entering, trespassing and malicious damage," because he had broken into the arena via the roof. [Yahoo]

Hope Brodie, 26, spent last Sunday cooking up a batch of PCP in a noodle pot in her New Haven, Connecticut apartment. She didn't bother to wash the pot very well. The next day, a relative used that same pot to cook a batch of noodles. These noodles were fed to Hope Brodie's five year-old daughter. Whoops.

Never mind what the studies say. Being fat is totally sexy! It's also pretty handy — particularly when it comes to stashing your contraband.

An Oklahoma man was apparently attacked by four people, who shocked him "twice in the genitals" with a stun gun and tattooed the word "RAPEST" on his forehead. Sounds like someone read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo!

Arriving at orientation for her court-mandated community service at the Los Angeles Downtown Women's Center yesterday, Lindsay Lohan wore short shorts, a see-through shirt, and no bra. [Image via Splash]

Police in Charleston, West Virginia, found Mark Thompson wandering around the woods in a bra and panties and covered in the blood of his neighbor's pygmy goat, which he had killed in his bedroom. He had been high on "bath salts" for three days.

Jeff Russell Hall, an "avowed" white supremacist and Neo-Nazi, was apparently shot to death by his 10-year-old son early Sunday morning at his home in Riverside, Calif. Police say they believe it was an "intentional act."

Many people consider Starbucks to be their favorite hangout because of the soulful music. Others enjoy the cozy, one-of-a-kind atmosphere that each outlet has to offer. Sadly, criminals are maligning the popular caffeinated sanctuary franchise by stealing stuff from unsuspecting imbibers. It's like they don't even understand the whole point of the Starbucks experience!

Tragically lucky British man Lee Knight's first wife tried to kill him by putting antifreeze in his curry. Knight's soon-to-be second wife took care of him after the poisoning. It's karma in action, with a dash of trading up!

Fish peddler Yong Hao Wu has been charged with importing thousands of live snakehead fish—a crime in New York state, in case you've slacked off on studying your fish laws (don't feel ashamed; we've all been there).

Elmer McGuirt entered a Tampa-area Wachovia branch yesterday afternoon with a threatening note, and walked out with a bag of the bank's money.

How can you stay mad at Antoine Dodson? He's like the rape-whistle-blowing bastard love child of Chris Rock and Miss J. Alexander, beamed down from Planet YouTubia for our personal amusement. Here he is at a court appearance to answer to charges of marijuana possession. In his BEENNZ. The guy can only communicate in viral video-ese! He's a viral video savante. Little Man 'Toine. God bless him. [YouTube]

The file sharing obsessives at TorrentFreak.com are convinced that Netflix is helping Americans become conscientious citizens who pay for movies rather than illegally downloading them free off BitTorrent. We are truly becoming moral titans.

After being stabbed in the side with a butcher knife, a 58-year-old parking garage attendant in the Bronx fended off two armed attackers with an apple. The surveillance video shows two younger men threatening the attendant, who happened to be holding an apple at the time. (By color, I would guess it is a Gala. Jonagold, Fuji, and Honeycrisp are also possibilities.) As the knife-wielding assailant lunges at our frugivorous hero, he flings his snack at his attacker, then shoves the thug out the door.

Absent-minded meat muncher John Richardson is not in jail tonight! This is because a jury believed that Richardson maybe did not mean to take a 99-cent sausage from a grocery store without paying for it, but simply forgot to pay for it. Forgetfulness is not yet a crime, so what else could the jury do?

Ever wondered how much meth you can squeeze into your sneakers? Between 800 grams and a kilo per pair, that's how much, apparently. Ten people from a Malaysian "tour group" were caught at the Auckland Airport in New Zealand yesterday, each with roughly the same amount of meth in their shoes totaling just over $8 million (USD). Customs agents were tipped off because the smugglers carried "itineraries that were in English but (they) couldn't speak English."

Be aware! Despite what you may think/hope, shooting a gun at a reality show is, in fact, illegal, as 40-year-old Las Vegan Carlos Barron learned on Monday night following an unfortunate altercation with the seven-person crew filming Spike's Repo Games. It seems Barron had been yelling at the driver of a van parked in front of his home; the Repo Games crew allegedly saw him hit the driver, and approached to intervene. Barron responded by drawing a handgun and firing "multiple shots." He then barricaded himself in his home before fleeing through a window, eventually being apprehended by a police dog. No one was hurt in the incident. [Las Vegas Sun]

Here's how not to make the world a safer place: The tiny Long Island village of Kings Point has installed cameras at every entrance that will automatically run cars that enter through a criminal database.

A Brooklyn McDonald's patron found herself the victim of an "elaborate ruse" when she visited the iconic eating establishment last weekend. Said ruse relieved the victim of her purse, without her knowledge.

Convicted murder and stunningly handsome mobster "Vinny Gorgeous" (or, Vincent Basciano) has had a rough time in jail. His cell is wet, and the guards keep fucking with his suits and ties. He also likes to gossip. And, thanks to secretly-recorded tapes between Mr. Gorgeous and a spineless rat, James "Big Louie" Tartaglione, we know that Mr. Gorgeous is very concerned about aging.