Never mind what the studies say. Being fat is totally sexy! It's also pretty handy — particularly when it comes to stashing your contraband.

5' 4", 180-pound Gloria Esther Perez, a 28-year-old Florida native, was taken into custody by police after getting into a fight with another woman. After falling ill, she was brought to a hospital, where the staff discovered "a knife in her vagina."

There's more.

Perez had a second knife "in a roll of fat in her stomach," investigators reported. Additionally, a "bottle of pills was located in her body fat."

Perez was charged with weapons possession and a dozen narcotics counts, and is currently in jail. She can get you a pack of smokes, but they'll be a little moist. [The Smoking Gun, photo via Shutterstock]