What is our nation's very serious opposition party up to, these days? Oh, just staging mock trials in Congress using "evidence" they found in ACORN's trash!

Supposedly it is voice actors. "Working voice actors," with "busy lives." But we definitely heard a guy with a non-Plains State regional accent. That's no working voice actor!

Bart Stupak is the Democratic Congressmen who added the "no abortions for people who can't afford them out of pocket" amendment to the House Health Care bill. Guess where he lives!

It's basically a given that the president's party will lose seats after his first midterm (except when 9/11 happens). So let's not get our hopes up. But Republicans really wanna try to prove that bit of conventional wisdom wrong.

Good news: Health Care passed the House. The narrow margin of victory is not a cause for concern, that's just what good whipping looks like. In a functional political system, that'd be it. But no! Now we have the Senate.

One of those "good work, Yankees" congressional resolutions seems like a no-brainer. But! Some Congressmen who represent the New York metro area pretend to root for the Yankees, while others of them pretend to care about the Mets.

Rural Democrats refused to have the House version of the public option reimburse providers with rates tied to Medicare, because Medicare underpays rural hospitals and doctors. Guess what they did for urban hospitals, though!

Did you hear the breaking news? Nancy Pelosi's socialist health care bill is almost as long as Infinite Jest! And that means it is bad. It is a bad bill, because good bills are short.

Everyone is acting like the Health Care negotiations have become crazy and impossible to figure out but that is a lie. Where we are at right now is quite simple.

Let's make a deal: no more talking about health care reform. For a while, anyway. A couple weeks, let's say. Because no one on TV and few people in newspapers can actually explain what's going on with it.

There are many perils to life in Congress: the humidity, town halls yelling... But worst must be when screw-loose ex-staffers go over to the opposition and accuse you of betraying your country to Turkey while having a lesbian affair.

So, our nation has fully accepted the fact that low-blow insults and childish retaliation is a-okay. The proof? Our House of Representatives have weighed in on what is and what is not acceptable when insulting the President.

So, the President just wrapped up his health care speech. How did it go? Well, despite his efforts to teach the GOP a thing or two, he likely wasted his breath on a group who can't comprehend his reforms.

Republicans will not support a "co-op" compromise. Republicans will not support health care reform that does anything. So let's all make sure to keep them involved in the process! [TWI]

Barack Obama backing off (or maybe not?) the public option is either the death of health care reform or yet another of this month's distractions from what is actually still a very viable bill. We lay out both cases, below.

In solidarity with the suffering American people, Nancy Pelosi has graciously agreed to limit her taxpayer-financed private jet fix to four brand-new aircraft totaling $220 million, as opposed to the $500 million worth of new jets she so richly deserved.

Not only have House lawmakers proposed blowing half a billion dollars of taxpayer money on eight new jets to ferry them around the world—the same taxpayer money that auto companies and banks were scolded for spending on their own corporate jets a few months ago, of course—now it turns out that the government is probably significantly overpaying for the planes, too. [WSJ]

How weird! A regular plain-old concerned citizen shouting about health care socialism at a Democratic congressman's town hall turned out to be a former vice-chairman of the county Republican party. And she worked for the member's opponent! Crazy coincidence, right?

Mel Martinez (R-FLA) is resigning from the Senate. Not in a "not seeking reelection sense," but in a "not coming back from the recess" sense. Why? The dreaded "family reasons."