Microsoft and Yahoo execs met this week in Sunnyvale, but the talks didn't go anywhere. The sticking point: Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's troops refused to consider raising their cash-and-stock bid and so Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang's representatives likewise refused to initiate "formal negotiations," the WSJ reports. Meanwhile, commenters confirm that while its new brand advertising platform flounders, Yahoo "is indeed a mess inside. Yahoo is full of pissing matches at the VP level." Please, tell us more.

Commenter and steadfast Yahoo apologist MarktheMarketWatcher zings Google's skimpy severance package for laid-off DoubleClickers:

"You're a dick, Owen. And you run fake stories every day anyway." — Double-crossed April Fools entrepreneur Nate Westheimer demonstrates his Valley CEO potential. And let this be a reminder: People say Valleywag will stab you in the back. That's a lie. Valleywag will stab you in the face.

This made me LOL for real: In this post about the memo CNET CEO Neil Ashe sent out regarding CNETs recent layoffs, commenter random_play penned a beauty:

"That's life," commenter danmiller3 wrote after we told you about how CNET laid off an employee recovering from cancer. Turns out he was more right than he knew. A new CNET tipster tells that one of his laid-off colleagues lost his job just two months after his wife gave birth. "Fuck Neil Ashe," our source says. He says CNET employees are "all half hoping" private equity firm Jana Partners — which already has a 14.9 percent stake in the company — "takes over and fixes the platform and other underlying legacy issues from when CNET was a cable syndicator instead of trying to create tons of new fledgling brands."

Commenter Matthew O'Ryan is on to us. He's noticed how a throwaway line has become our new catchphrase: "That seems easier." In an industry full of people who claim to be obsessed with efficiency, why do we have to keep explaining over and over the simple way to do things? Because Valley denizens secretly love doing things the hard way — and they hate it when people point out we're doing it wrong. Neophilia, cast as a love of innovation, is actually an algorithm for generating ever-changing shibboleths that keep outsiders away. They make things complicated because it entertains them; because they love challenges and puzzles; because they can. But the world that pays their bills? Customers like things simple. Why not keep them happy? Ah, but you know how that would seem.

Whatever happened to Andrew Conru, the porn baron of Palo Alto? After selling Various Inc., the parent company of X-rated singles site Adult FriendFinder, to Penthouse for $500 million in December, he's getting his personal life in order, commenter rumourone informs us. He's reportedly still working at Various, but planning his departure. (Will Penthouse disclose this fact when it files to go public, largely on the strength of Conru's Web businesses?) Also, he's engaged to a "devout Lutheran" named Lois. Ironic, given his porn profiteering? Hardly. Conru also launched — and sold along with FriendFinder — a religious social network, BigChurch.com, where he supposedly met Lois. Update: Conru has written in to deny the Lois story. The full Conru tale from rumourone follows:

Wired.com editor Leander Kahney writes up received Google fictions peddled by the search engine's PR division as fact in this month's Wired magazine. Google's employee perks are a common topic in the press, but our readers tell us the reality is far from the earthly paradise Google sells to gullible journalists. Leander makes working at Google seem like heaven:

Embedding videos into Valleywag comments is as easy as dragging and dropping a YouTube URL into the comments field. One advantage this method holds over Mashable's video comments: Embedding a YouTube video of yourself takes at least one extra step. Trust us: No one wants to hear you talk. Especially me. I get paid by the pageview.

Here's commenter Wabewalker responding to another commenter's assertion that Yahoo is "trying to fail":

Former Google employee Hans Cardinal shared his view on 20 percent time and the working environment he experienced inside Google.

Commenter jordanly has harsh words about Google's hiring practices:

"Gaddamn. Is that foh realz?" — Anonymous Googler, on word of Sheryl Sandberg's departure to Facebook.

In our "Googler's vent: working here sucks too" post, commenter tengallonhero does some venting of his own:

Hail matto, commenter of the week. He writes:

"I never cease to be amazed when supporters of Open Source, Open Standards and the relative anarchy that such regimes allow turn to the government sector and want to do just the opposite: centralize everything." — macbeach on "free culture" advocate Lawrence "Larry" Lessig's proposal to publicly fund election campaigns.

"Rednikki," better known as Nicole Gustas, an employee of Jason Calacanis's Mahalo Web directory, complains about Valleywag's coverage of local sex parties. But if you search on Mahalo for "Silicon Valley sex parties," where does Calacanis point you? Why, to Melissa Gira Grant's very same post. Everybody wins. Thanks, Jason!

"Maybe things are different down south than in the city," writes commenter mercurius2, "but I've never run across oxycontin or talk of its use in the high tech world up here. Bong hits in the court yard, roof, hall closet, boss's office, elevator, under the front desk, cubicles after hours, boss's bedroom, that I might believe."

Announcing a new commenting feature: If words fail you, you can paste the link to a YouTube video in your comment. You don't even need to be skilled enough to copy and paste the embed code; just the URL will do. A thumbnail will appear in your comment, and clicking on it will bring up the clip. Shown here: Jason Pontin's deep analysis of yours truly. This feature is still being tested, so please report any bugs you encounter.

As Yahoo lays off hundreds, possibly thousands, of employees, our commenters are filling us in on the details. Commenter Winston Smith writes that laid-off employees are getting two months' severance, not the usual three months Yahoo has previously offered. (Other commenters disagree, reporting three-month packages.) The unfortunate will also not be getting their 2007 bonus. Commenter supernoob offers this anecdote: