This week was kind of gross. People were making out with people they really shouldn't be, stupid rich kids were getting upset about their privacy, there was some unpleasantness about the Black Party, and all manner of other awful stuff. But you, dear commenters, gracefully transcended the grimy bonds of the subject matter to say many beautiful things. OK, not beautiful maybe. But at least reflecting some human decency and principle that tells me you would never suck face with Frankenberry. Find some of the best after the jump.

Webster's Dictionary defines commenting as what you do when you are sitting at your desk and your eyes feel like they might fall out because you have been looking at the same spreadsheet for an hour but all you can see is a view of the grass from the porch of your friend's college apartment where you used to get drunk and stoned and feel great about life so you decide to let go of the spreadsheet for a minute or two or sixty. Or, you know, it's just something silly and fun. Whatever. After the jump, find our five favorite from this week.

Hey surfbeavernsb! Calling some random stranger a "fatty" one time may be considered sort of funny (if it's in the right context of course! don't kill me!), but mocking some not actually fat woman something like nine times in one post is just stupid. So, ya clipped. I don't care if it was "ironic" or whatever. And if any commenter says what I suspect at least one commenter will say, they're outta here too. Update: Say goodbye to KikiRiki as well, for this.

Oh former models like Veronica Webb. Please stop going around saying and writing things. Know why? You're dumb and people don't like you. Ms. Webb was blogging about how she would give Ashley Dupree, one of former Governor Eliot Spitzer's many call girls, a makeover when a bout of the very-stupids overtook her. For instance, saying that Dupree's "almond-shaped blue eyes are her best feature." Dupree, of course, has smokey brown eyes."Every king eventually meets his Beowulf," Webb observes. "Some survive and some don't." What do you suppose the commenters did with this?

Spring is here! Rebirth, regrowth, brand new things! Though, we doubled up here bit a from last week, with a few familiar commenters lurking once again on the best of the week list. Ah well. They were deserved. Perhaps they're evergreens, lasting the same all year round.

Yesterday, I very earnestly asked who you commenters are and what you get out of the whole commenting experience. Except for a few people who fairly criticized me for just trying to drum up comments, almost everyone responded with equal earnestness. For the most part, people seem to just enjoy the community in the comments. For some, it's a distraction from work, when YouTube is blocked. For others, it's a distraction from the people at work, where everyone is old and no one gets Breakfast Club references. Prolific commenters claim to get laid through Gawker. I find that both depressing and inspiring, since actually writing for the site hasn't done the same for me, though I wouldn't want it to, either. Jenniferhdaniel said that if I write an essay commenting on the commenters, I would be the lamest of the lame-os. Harsh. Well, how lame would I be if I wrote about the comment reading experience?

Those of you who were not among the meager handful of readers to click through our post yesterday about this mystifying Josh Hartnett short film for the New York Times missed a truly incredible answer to our question: What the hell is this all about? Commenter VirusWithShoes responded with a disquisition that reviews the film— and the nature of life—at a level of detail that is astounding, and absurd. The fact that someone who is (presumably?) working at another job during the day had time to write this is amazing. And scary. Reprinted below for your pleasure, the entire cinematic comment.

Chin up, crossword-puzzle man Tyler Hinman. Just keep chanting: Pearls before swine. Pearls before swine.

This post is about comments. Consider that your invitation to tell me I have it all wrong. To be honest, I don't know that much about the commenting scene. I'm not above making anonymous judgments or being bored at work, I just never understand the motivation of blog commenters. Is it winning a commie? Being quoted in the New York Times public editor's column? I get that being anonymous makes people more free to revert to their Lord of The Flies side, but why is everyone always so rude? And is that rudeness destroying society?

Just as St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, four thousand years ago today, we are expelling some commenters on this fine Irish morning. Some were nasty or offensive, others rather obtuse and pigheaded. Some were nominated by you, others sealed their own fate when they hit "submit comment." Others still remain, slithering their way around the site, but rest assured that we'll catch you. Now, where's our parade? Find the banished after the jump.

WHOA WHAT A WEEK. Spitzer swallowed, remember? And then other things happened related to that. And you, always you, said things upon things upon things about that story and about others. Funny things, thoughtful things. It's an intimidating prospect to cull five of the best comments of the week from such a mighty volume of good work. So I've once again turned to my fellow Gawker staff members and sought their counsel. Find our picks after the jump.

Commenter executions are fun, aren't they? We've got our eye on another few people who need to get the ax, for offenses ranging from sexism to plain old not being funny. So we'll definitely be doing some dirty work ourselves, but we'd also like to get you involved this time. Lately a lot of you have been complaining about "newbies" and whatnot, bemoaning the lowering of old standards that may or may not have ever existed. So, much like the commenter-awarded Party Pick each week, we'd like your choices for the commenters that need to go; the ones that really irk you, have offended you, or have never made you laugh. Leave your ideas below, and we'll follow up with a later post. Oh, and do make sure your reasoning is, you know, thought-out and as objective as possible. No personal attacks, please, or you might be executed yourself.

After weighing the comments in response to our post yesterday, we've picked a winning slogan for the upcoming Virgin Mobile Canada ad featuring Barack Obama. As you'll recall, the company already cranked out a sexy Spitzer scandal ad, and Obama is the next man on their schedule. They certainly didn't ask for any input on the slogan, but we decided to give them some anyhow. From you, and for free! There's no better deal. Two runners up, the winner, and our email to Virgin Mobile Canada corporate communications (as promised), below.

Crazed commenters threaten Gawker and other sites. [Portfolio]

Comments were great this week. People were very angry about some posts, very happy about others, and very funny about everything. Finding the best five is always a difficult task, but it was especially hard this week. So I enlisted the help of my fellow Gawker editors and reporters. I think we did well. Just remember that everyone's a winner. Except, um, those that aren't. So, after the jump find what we've cobbled together.

Hey it's been really easy of late. We let lots of commenters in recently, prematurely perhaps. It wasn't a mistake! (We rarely admit when we've made one of those.) But it's gotten a bit crowded around here. And because it's March, we've decided to do some spring cleaning. Goodbye to the following commenters. We come to bury you, not to praise you. Hopefully you can come back to us someday.

"I've seen blogs where if you don't have your name on [a comment], they won't run your answer. I respect those blogs, and the people who run those blogs have a great deal of integrity," said blog-hating ad agency exec Nina DiSesa in an interview we posted earlier today. Among those cowardly bloggers who provide a platform for totally anonymous comments: Nina DiSesa!

Everyone is always talking! Or, typing! Comments and questions and jokes and things! And some of it is really great. So this is where greatness is recognized. Join me as I bestow honors upon a lucky few.

Hey IndianSlipper! They (and we) are onto you. Your secret blog-inside-a-blog isn't so secret anymore. You're famous!

"Well, I had more time to investigate this [name redacted].com. It seems to be a melange of stupid news that no sane person would peruse. Having said that, I can see it may be popular. Most of the comments I read were by people thinking they are too smart by half. So I presume their audience is 19-29 persons who think highly of themselves. You are probably perfect to write for this crowd." [The blogger behind the excellent I Fight Evil asked his mother what she thought of freelancing for Gawker.]