Today we read about a salacious and scandalous encounter of the Hebrew kind. Yeshiva University has not been rocked by a literary scandal of this magnitude since the Red Tent came out (though moms love it!). But this mild mannered recounting of college sex-having made us want more! Lucky for us, one commenter giveth that which we desire.

College newspapers: how are they shocking and outraging campus officials with mild sexual content today? Well, you know, just in the normal way, by writing something about sex. But this time, more Jewish!

The above video depicts a female student having a meltdown in the library at Cal State Northridge on Tuesday. Despite several reports to the contrary, the video was recorded and first posted to Facebook by a CSUN student named Ashley Monroe, who claimed in comments below it that the altercation began after the girl demanded others in the library "not breathe loud[ly]."

Jason Cohen is a young English professor at Kentucky's Berea College. Oh Jason Cohen, what did you put on the Twitter this week???

In the next decade, President Obama wants to raise America's college graduation rate to 60%. Currently, just over 40% of Americans aged 25-34 have college degrees. That means a lot of new college students will have to be added to the system, and soon. In fact, there is no hope of this being achieved.

Today we learned that some Mormons are prudes, particularly those wrathful BYU co-eds fighting tooth and nail to keep skinny jeans illegal. Perhaps it isn't a moral thing, but actually a Freshman Fifteen thing that has them tossing their denim onto a smoldering ban fire. One commenter sets the scene for us with some BYU fanfic.

Following yesterday's report about BYU-Idaho had banned skinny jeans, officials at the Mormon university overturned the ban. But skinny-jeans-gate isn't over! Intrepid student journalists are on the case, reporting that rogue prudes within the University hierachy fought to keep skinny jeans out—possibly discriminating against the "curvy"—before they were overruled.

Updated. The first time I read this, I thought it was parody: Independent Brigham Young University publication The Student Review reports that BYU-Idaho has banned skinny jeans as part of its honor code guidelines against "form-fitting clothing." Skinny jeans: trousers of the devil? Don't tell Mitt Romney.

Boys, or girls: which do you think is better at going to college? If you said "boys," fuck off, you stupid idiot, no wonder you never went to college.

For students at the College of William & Mary in Virginia, trying to secure a prime study spot in the library during the "reading days" before Finals Week has become as harrowing and dangerous as trying to purchase $2 waffle iron on Black Friday. Trampling! Pepper spray! These are now part of their library experience.

Irina Kristy, an easy-grading college math professor with an impenetrable accent who has taught at Boston University and Suffolk University since 1987, has been arrested for allegedly running a crystal meth lab with Grigory Genkin, her 29-year-old son, out of their home in Somerville, Massachusetts. (This is the part in the post where you point a finger at your screen and shout, "Breaking Bad! Breaking Bad!" even though it bears only a passing resemblance to the AMC series. So please stop.)

Way back in September, a couple of Long Island dummies were busted for paying 19-year-old Emory University student Sam Eshaghoff to take the SATs for them. Now it seems everyone is cheating on the damn test!

Add this to the list of Wall Street's problems: kids these days don't think banks are "cool" any more, for some reason. (Kids. You know?) The NYT says that even Yale kids are protesting when Morgan Stanley comes to campus to recruit their peers who know how to pick out a decent suit, which is probably... the best thing Yalies have ever done.

Justin Combs, heir to Sean "Just Call Me Puffy" Combs' hip-hop, clothing, vodka, and Cheeze Doodle empire (he owns "Puffy Cheeze Doodles," right?) is going to UCLA and is not going to pay one red cent.

Michigan State art professor Danny Guthrie recently just finished an art project where he photographed himself in varying states of undress, caressing the naked bodies of "former and current students." Time to rev up the ol' campus controversy machine!

We've received a tip from a very angry graduate student at the New School, the fancy New York City liberal arts school that has seen its student center occupied since Thursday. The damn occupiers are trashing the place!

Today we learned that our favorite college English lit professor was just in it for the money! Or rather, for the opportunity to research, write and publish. All those college professors never cared about us at all! Oh, the heartbreak. One commenter put his English education to use in a convenient little explanation:

Here's what stupid uneducated people imagine that college literature professors do: teach. Har har, stupid ignorant idiots! Here is what college literature professors actually do: write obscure papers that nobody will read. Now that's where it's at!

We blame the 60s. For everything. Today, we blame the 60s for creating the lax and permissive atmosphere in this great nation that directly caused our "best and brightest" young university students to neglect their studies in favor of LSD, sexual intercourse, and LSD intercourse.

A hacker apparently broke into the computer system of Santa Clara University to change the grades of more than 60 current and former students, the California school announced on Monday.