A quick update on Roger Clinton, idiot brother-in-law of Hillary and neighbor of Max Sheffield on The Nanny: Still an idiot.

Cocaine and nuclear weapons: A good mix? That’s what an official probe into coke abuse by “about a dozen airmen” at the F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming will investigate, the AP reports.

The purported cocaine kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman may be sent to Brooklyn to be prosecuted if he is extradited from Mexico, according to federal Justice Department officials cited in the Wall Street Journal today.

A BBC TV host who was covertly recorded giving a detailed explanation about a drug dealer who “just goes from desk to desk” at the company says his comments were misconstrued.

The mysterious death of a man who bit a woman onboard an Aer Lingus flight from Lisbon to Dublin is no longer quite as mysterious. An autopsy found the man had 80 10-gram pellets of suspected cocaine in his stomach, and at least one of them reportedly burst, likely killing him.

Port Authority cops stopped a fashion designer who pulled a U-turn outside the Holland Tunnel Tuesday, driving onto the sidewalk and narrowly missing five cars. When officers pulled them over, she told them she turned around because she didn’t want to go to New Jersey.

Movie villain James Woods filed a $10 million defamation suit Wednesday against a Twitter user who called him “a cocaine addict,” according to The Hollywood Reporter. The probably-pseudonymous Twitter user, “Abe List,” made the crack July 15 in response to an asinine Woods tweet that called Caitlyn Jenner “Bruce” and hyped up the bogus Planned Parenthood “baby parts” scandal in one foul breath.

The rich are different from you and me, it’s been said (by the rich). And that’s probably the truth, unless you’re also allegedly hosting prostitute-and-cocaine orgies at your multimillion dollar Park Avenue apartment. And if you are, well, good for you I guess?

People may have been drawn to Queen’s highly-rated Cucino a Modo Mio pizzeria for the fresh cassava but they stayed for the hundreds of pounds of sweet, fresh cocaine, cops say.

Every now and then things go your way. You find money on the sidewalk. You accidentally get a side of fries with your order at no charge. Your subway train arrives right away. And sometimes you really luck out and discover a free bag of high quality cocaine hidden inside your granola bar.

Authorities say they made the largest cocaine bust in French history last week when they seized more than a $105 million from smugglers, ruining someone’s weekend for sure.

According to Wikipedia, Gigi Hadid is "an American fashion model and TV personality." The C-lister now says she is definitely not blowing a line of cocaine in the above image, which her dumbass B-list musician boyfriend shared online. Do you believe her?

McDonald's has decided to pay the artists participating in its SXSW showcase. No word on where they will find the money.

In November, three teenagers allegedly broke into a St. Peters, Missouri, home and robbed it of powerful prescription pain killers, cash, various Microsoft electronics, and a wooden box filled with the cremated remains of the homeowner's father, which the teens reportedly mistook for a wooden box filled with cocaine.

SXSW, Austin's annual sticky-floored music industry sport coat and jeans cocaine marathon, wherein bands willingly exhaust themselves playing garbage sets for little or no money, deriving sustenance from tacos and the hope of "exposure," features a McDonald's showcase this year. And, no doy, they aren't paying.

The two suburban Los Angeles high school teachers, who allegedly had an alcohol-fueled sexy beach party with 5 male students, are facing additional charges this week. Melody Lippert, 38, and Michelle Ghirelli, 30, were arrested last month for giving the underage students alcohol; prosecutors now say they had sex with the boys and gave them cocaine.

Bobbi Kristina Brown had been drinking heavily, as well as regularly using heroin, cocaine, and Xanax, in the months before she was found unconscious in her bathtub, People reports.

Former Wall Street executive Michael Lucarelli's insider trader sentencing hearing was reportedly a sad, debased retrospective of his life as a wealthy, adventurous, ulcer-prone financier.

According to the Wall Street Journal, one of Joe Biden's sons was kicked out of the Navy reserves last year after he tested positive for cocaine less than a month after joining.

Stevie Nicks is on a publicity blitz for a new album, and she didn't hold much back during a recent Billboard interview, confirming stories of prodigious cocaine use and an unplanned pregnancy with Eagles frontman Don Henley.