As a young model, America's foremost wet dream Christina Hendricks posed for a trippy Playboy editorial, in which she donned a blonde wig and silver lamé bikini to romp with a greased-up Speedo model and a crazy clown.

Halloween was not without its casualties: The NYDN reports that a "marauding clown" at the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade broke reporter Arthur Chi'en's face in six places when the clown scaled Chi'en's float, then knocked the newsman off of it.

At a clown convention in Mexico City, 700 clowns attempted to break the world record for laughter. They failed, probably because they turned and looked at each other, and the hellish scene of 700 cackling clowns scared them into silence.

What's the latest in Bell, California, America's Most Corrupt Town? The eight Bell officials arrested for looting the city's coffers are due in court today. An audit found they were greedier than expected. And they're being chased by a clown!

Buffoonish human malaprop generator Lee Abrams resigned from his laughably lofty post at Tribune Co. last week in the wake of a poorly-timed email scandal. Now, Lee Abrams is coming to his own defense—via email!

Tribune Co. Clown-in-Chief Lee Abrams has been suspended after sending a poorly-timed memo linking to a video about "Sluts." By our reckoning, that was only the tenth-dumbest thing he's done since his reign of goofball memo terror began. ATTACK!

Is Tribune Co. "Chief Bong Hitting Innovations Officer" Lee Abrams the stupidest man in America not currently starring in an MTV reality show? That's what she said, haha. Oh, we mean: Yes.

Thanks to Poltergeist, John Wayne Gacy, and their creepiness in general, everyone is scared of clowns. Add to the mix Pedro Artega Velazquez who was arrested while juggling in full makeup on a street corner in Juarez, Mexico.

Tribune Broadcasting is appointing two new "regional vice presidents for innovation and imagination," and "restructuring...such creative services functions as branding and marketing at its TV outlets." They must really mean business! What does Tribune's memo-from-Mars issuer Lee Abrams say, hmmm?

Colorado Rep. Jared Polis is a violent madman. Why is this demented photo of him smiling in the car with a bloody face on his Twitter?

[A clown in El Salvador protests bandits dressing up like clowns to rob and kill people by spitting a huge ball of fire into the air. Image via AP]

We always laugh when, say, someone's arrested for brazenly offering weed for sale on Craigslist. Our apologies to those fools. It turns out that the dumbest criminals of all are trying to pull off insider trading. Very, very poorly.

Some shoddy camera work is all that is holding this video back from internet perfection. Nothing like capturing a friends moment of pure terror for the sole purpose of making strangers laugh.

In Switzerland, parents hire "Evil Clown" Dominic Deville to stalk their children for a week, leave them threatening notes, and finally attack them with a cake in the face, for their birthday. Military neutrality has a dark side. [Metro UK]

Glenn Beck is upset, upset that "as our country burns to the ground," we have Senators who didn't bother questioning Obama's racist Mexican lady Supreme Court nominee at her confirmation hearings today! Um, maybe that's because the questioning begins tomorrow?

Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno doesn't open in the U.S. until July 10th, but he's already out doing press for the film. Tonight he was the guest on The Tonight Show and, of course, he was utterly ridiculous.

Just in case you were wondering, "What's driving Glenn Beck insane today?", Glenn's bulbous head was on the verge of exploding on the air over a UN proposal to ban on plastic bags. He even did his vaunted "Flipper" impersonation!

Arnold Schwarzenegger was a guest on Jay Leno's show last night and Glenn Beck, Fox News' resident Barnumesque dildo, just couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of the manner in which the California Governor speaks, and even managed to do so quite horribly.

Aspiring clown Rita Reardon performs during a clowning workshop at an open call for new clowns held at the Ringling Bros. Clown College in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Hey, Internet, what is this you have for us? Oh, good, it is a series of terrifying portraits of members of the GOP painted to resemble clowns. Thanks. [Flickr via bb]