• The list of New York Times staffers accepting buyouts from the paper to leave has grown. And it includes Jenny 8. Lee, surprisingly). [Gawker, NYO]
• Television news: The Early Show has a new boss as of today; profits are up at CNBC; and Joy Behar's new show on HLN is doing pretty well in the ratings.
• Will Vevo, the new Hulu of music videos, succeed? That's up in the air, but it did host a glam launch party last night and traffic's been strong. [AdAge, CNET]
• Tavi, the 13-year-old blogger who's transfixed the fashion world, is writing a column for Harper's Bazaar; a bit of controversy has followed. [WWD, NYM]
• Great news! R. Kelly has signed a deal to pen his memoirs. [Vulture]
• Even better news: ABC has a reality show debuting in January that combines dating and romance with a "moving conveyor belt." It's about time! [Wrap]

Casual sex does not lead to long-term emotional or psychological damage, according to researchers at the University of Minnesota. (But that doesn't mean hooking up with a total stranger won't leave you with a nasty case of chlamydia, of course.) [Star Tribune]

Last week, Bloomberg News columnist Alice Schroeder suggested that panicky Goldman Sachs bankers were "loading up on firearms" in the event a "populist uprising" broke out. But that's not the case, you'll be relieved to hear:

Bob Guccione's former mansion on the Upper East Side is about to get a lot less porntastic. The 27-room townhouse that the Penthouse founder once decorated with neo-Classical female busts, Byzantine style fountains, and a Roman-inspired indoor pool (left!) was seized by creditors after his business empire went bust a few years back, and was purchased by hedge funder Phil Falcone and his wife Lisa Maria for $49 million in 2008. Now some big changes are on the way. Falcone's petition to dramatically renovate the home, demolish much of the interior, and scrap Guccione's treasured pool was approved by the Landmarks Preservation Commission yesterday, which means another vestige of NYC's filthy past will soon be history. A moment of silence, please! [Curbed, previously]

The baby boy that just emerged from the womb of Gisele Bundchen isn't the only lucky little tot today. Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich and his girlfriend, globe-trotting fashion/art princess Dasha Zhukova, had a son in LA late last week. Welcome to the world, Aaron Alexander Abramovich. And remember to child-proof your missile defense system, Roman. [Fashionologie]

In the world of celebrities, socialites, and reality stars, relationships are more often "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" than "long-term." That's to be expected, of course. Think of all the temptations when countless other beautiful people are around! To size up the potential of a handful of newer and more high-profile couples on the New York City scene, we turned to Patti Wood, the "Babe Ruth of body language experts" who has evaluated unspoken signals for hundreds of media outlets over the years. Join us below as Wood breaks down which twosomes are destined for eternal bliss—and which are bound for a break-up.

When Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme was exposed last December, most people were horrified by the massive fraud. Other people, however, took a little bit of inspiration from Madoff's exploits.

Last week at this time, nutty Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was sitting behind bars, having been arrested for stealing jewelry, clothing, shoes, and underwear from a former model named Jasmine Lennard. (She was also accused of leaving behind a wet towel and used vibrator as her "calling card," but that's another story.)

Dick Fuld is ready to restore his good name! The former CEO of Lehman Brothers and current Wall Street punching bag set up a new company a few months ago called Matrix Advisers, and now sources tell the Post that Fuld plans to use focus his energies at the firm on raising capital for small businesses. It's not quite as straightforward as simply apologizing and publicly acknowledging that mistakes were made. But why take the easy route? [NYP]

Lady Gaga leaving Nobu last night after having dinner ... Cate Blanchett crossing the street in NoHo ... Sienna Miller leaving Jude Law's apartment with Jonny Lee Miller ... Kim Kardashian arriving at JFK, and later leaving the Wendy Williams Show ... Jason Bateman and Beth Ditto arriving at MTV in Times Square ... Taylor Lautner getting off a flight at JFK ... Taylor Swift walking in Midtown with a couple of bodyguards ... Rihanna arriving at JFK to catch a flight ... Taylor Momsen walking to the set of Gossip Girl ... and Rachel Uchitel going into an Equinox gym and later walking downtown with a friend.

Do you regularly walk around town and bemoan the fact that so many people are overweight? Now you can do something about it: The city is looking for 100 volunteers to teach yoga, Pilates, and aerobics to obese New Yorkers who can't afford to join a gym. [NYDN]

• Gisele Bundchen has two reasons to be happy today. Not only did she just have a baby, but less than a month after she closed on the sale of her West 11th Street penthouse, she's managed to find a buyer for her townhouse at 42 Barrow Street, too. The 5,000-square-foot home, which Bundchen bought for $5.8 million in 2005, had been listed for $13.95 million since September. [Cityfile, PDE]
• Entrepreneur David Smilow has found a buyer for his duplex penthouse at 140 Perry Street. The massive 8,100-square-foot spread, which Smilow listed for $19.5 million and took off the market in April, went into contract to sell earlier this week. [Cityfile, PDE]
• Dr. Arthur Agatston, the cardiologist best known for having created the South Beach Diet, and his wife Sari Agatston, have paid $7 million for a 6,400-square-foot mansion in East Hampton. [Newsday]

Art Basel Miami Beach ended a couple of days ago. So how did it go? Sales were surprisingly strong—especially compared to the train wreck of a show last year—and the excess that characterized the event in previous years was back in fashion. Then again, not every fixture on the art scene was impressed.

Chris Christie will be sworn in as New Jersey's governor next month. But his inauguration isn't going to go off as he'd hoped. The lifelong Bruce Springsteen fan had "wanted nothing more" than to have the Boss perform at the event on January 19. But that isn't going to happen. Springsteen, who just so happens to be a lifelong Democrat, has turned down the request because he "doesn't want to get involved in state politics." [NYT]

• The most genetically blessed child in the world has arrived. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen and husband Tom Brady are the parents of a bouncing baby boy, although they haven't divulged his name yet. [People]
• He's been selling off his homes left and right to pay off the millions he owes in back taxes. Now Nic Cage is being sued by the mother of his 18-year-old son, Christina Fulton, who claims Cage subjected her to "mental, physical and emotional abuse," promised to pay off $250,000 in credit card debt, and reneged on a promise to give her the house she lives in. She's seeking $13 million, which is probably about $13 million more than Cage can afford. [TMZ, P6]
• Giuseppe Cipriani is back! The scandal-plagued restaurateur has been out of the country for the past year as he faces possible criminal charges. But he's working out a deal with the feds, which explains why he's back in NYC and was seen at both Harry Cipriani and Downtown Cipriani yesterday. [P6, NYDN]
• What's the latest with Tiger Woods? Glad you asked! His mother-in-law, who was rushed to the hospital after experiencing stomach pains, was released yesterday and is doing fine; a new report suggests Woods paid a porn star named Veronica Siwik-Daniels for sex "for years" when he was in Las Vegas; another outlet reports he gave one of his other mistresses, Jamie Jungers, thousands of dollars over the years and she used some of the cash to pay for liposuction; the Star reports that Elin Nordegren called Rachel Uchitel 90 minutes before Tiger's car crash, yelled "I know everything," hurled the phone at Tiger's face, and then "chased him around the house" smashing up the place; and Rachel Uchitel is finally speaking out and tells OK! that she's really upset that she's been portrayed as a "villain" up until now. [NYP, NYDN, Star, OK!]

Actress Felicity Huffman turns 47 today. Actor and comedian Mario Cantone is turning 50. John Malkovich is 56. Violinist Joshua Bell is turning 42. Former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle is turning 62. Dame Judi Dench is 75. Nightline co-anchor Terry Moran turns 49. American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi turns 39. Singer Imogen Heap is turning 32. Masako, the Crown Princess of Japan, is 46. Architect Steven Holl is 62. Actor Jesse Metcalfe turns 31. Donny Osmond turns 52. And Kirk Douglas is celebrating his 93rd birthday today.

• Didn't crash last month's state dinner? No worries. Marcus Samuelsson's Riingo will offer the same menu he served the Obamas next week. [GS, TONY]
• Closings: Pink Tea Cup in the Village will close its doors next month after 55 years in business; and nearby Gus' Place has been shuttered by the tax cops.
• The Wright, the new eatery inside the Guggenheim, opens on Friday. [Eater]
• East Side Social Club, the new Midtown spot co-owned by photographer Patrick McMullan, is the 2009 version of the Waverly Inn, apparently. [NYP]
• UWS deli Artie's has a new owner and will expand across NYC. [Crain's]
• A handful of local food-related holiday gift ideas for you consideration. [SE]

The revelations about Tiger Woods' extra-curricular escapades may now be catching up with him, or it may just be a coincidence, but Gatorade confirmed today that it plans to discontinue Tiger Focus, the sports drink "inspired" by Woods' "legendary mental toughness" that promises to reduce mental and physical stress. The company says the decision to drop the beverage had nothing to do with recent events, though, and was made more several months ago. [CNBC]

• Goodbyes: After 53 years on the air, CBS has canceled As the World Turns; meanwhile, the Bonnie Hunt Show won't be renewed after this season.
• JuJu Chang will take over for Chris Cuomo on Good Morning America. [NYP]
• Vevo, which is hoping to become the Hulu of music videos and is owned by Universal Music and Sony Music, made its debut today. [NYT, Reuters]
• Advertising is picking up again at the New York Times. Surprise! [AP, NYT]
• Related: The number of people who accepted Times buyouts has topped 50; tech reporter Saul Hansell is leaving the paper for AOL. And the Times is working with Google on a plan to "change the way news is consumed online."
• Bryant Gumbel revealed on Live with Regis and Kelly this morning that he has lung cancer and had surgery to remove a tumor two months ago. [NYP]
• Random House announced plans today to restructure its Crown Publishing Group; the division's publisher, Jenny Frost, is leaving the company. [NYT]
• Daily Variety has hired LAT veteran Leo Wolinsky as its new editor. [Variety]
• Will James Cameron's Avatar achieve Titanic-like success? Not so much. [AP]

If you're looking to pick up a tiny apartment—or you're interested in rubbing shoulders with one of the city's most prominent hedge funders—keep in mind that Bill Ackman will be personally auctioning off the 322-square-foot guest suite/maid's residence he owns at The Majestic tonight. The show kicks off at 8pm and Ackman will be providing the wine. You just need to bring your checkbook, be ready to bid at least $300,000, and be prepared to close this week. Ackman, in case you're wondering, is decamping to The Beresford, where he picked up an apartment for $26 million and where, we sincerely hope, he earns an invite to join fellow residents John Stossel and John McEnroe in their regular beach volleyball games in Central Park. [Curbed]