• Nielsen has concluded a deal to sell handful of trade titles like The Hollywood Reporter and Billboard to a consortium of investors that includes Jimmy Finkelstein and Guggenheim Partners. Rupert Murdoch's son Lachlan was once part of the investor group, but ended up dropping out. [AdWeek, NYP, LAT]
• Nielsen also said today that it's shuttering two titles: Editor & Publisher, which dates back to 1884, and book pub Kirkus Reviews. [E&P, NYT]
• AOL and Time Warner are officially separate companies now. [WSJ, AP]
• George Stephanopoulos starts his new job of GMA anchor on Monday. [LAT]
• The controversy over MTV's latest series, Jersey Shore, rages on. [THR]
• Hollywood PR powerhouse PMK/HBH has pretty much imploded. [Wrap]
• The 30 worst women's magazine covers of the aughts. [Buzzfeed]
• The city's laziest magazine editor: Dave Zinczenko of Men's Health. [Gawker]

Some people are horrified when a sex scandal forces them into the spotlight. As she demonstrated quite clearly on the streets of NYC today, Tiger Woods Mistress No. 1™ Rachel Uchitel isn't one of those people. [Splash News]

The reason so many Americans are overweight: It's because they spend 56 hours a week on average sitting on their fat asses, that's why. But what you may have assumed in the past was simply laziness is actually a certifiable medical condition. It's called "sitting disease" or "over-sitting," say health experts. Now we just need a kindly pharmaceutical company to develop a drug for it and we'll be all set, won't we? [NYDN]

Four former waitresses who worked at Café Habana on Prince Street have filed a labor lawsuit against the restaurant and its owners. In addition to claiming they were illegally forced to share tips and denied overtime pay, the four also say they were "subjected to a heavily sexually charged environment in which they were required to dress in a sexually provocative manner, asked to take pictures scantily clad, and subject to degrading sexual harassment." One particularly degrading act that one of the four says Café Habana's owners demanded of her? They told her to sleep with Owen Wilson, a "good customer" of the restaurant who had asked the waitress out previously, but had been turned down:

American Express evacuated employees on three floors of its World Financial Center headquarters this afternoon after envelopes containing a "white powdery substance" were discovered. Several similarly suspicious packages were also sent to Bank of America's offices in Tampa. [NBC, Business Insider]

Among the celebrity weeklies' many scientific contributions, none is more entertaining than the "body language expert" who can divine deep interpersonal details from one single photograph. Let's apply this rigorous method to New York City's romantic royalty.

Everyone's favorite perverted billionaire is back in the news! Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to soliciting underage girls for sex in 2007, served about a year in prison, and was released in July. But the women (girls?) he allegedly got kinky with continue to have civil lawsuits pending against the shadowy money manager, and now things have gotten a touch complicated because the lawyer representing several of his victims is/was Scott Rothstein, the Florida lawyer who currently stands accused of leading a $1.2 billion Ponzi scheme in his spare time.

Unemployed and struggling to make ends? Maybe you should consider blackmailing someone! Thanks to the recession, blackmail is back in a big way. And you don't need to target a celebrity to do it! [WSJ]

WWD asked a bunch of fashion designers about the fabulous places they'll be heading to over the holidays, and what they're hoping Santa leaves them under the tree (or beside the Hanukkah menorah, as the case may be). Most of the gifts mentioned are predictably fancy and expensive. But not all! The only thing Nanette Lepore wants this holiday season is a 15-minute meeting with Michael Bloomberg. [WWD]

Earlier this week, officers from the NYPD descended on Canal Street and shut down more than two dozen businesses that were selling fake handbags, wallets, and watches. But maybe the normally clever counterfeiters in the area should have seen it coming?

As we first reported weeks ago, departing Good Morning America news anchor Chris Cuomo has been tapped to join 20/20 as the primetime program's co-anchor. [ABC News, previously]

A newly unengaged Uma Thurman heading into an office building (and avoiding questions by waiting paparazzi) ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz walking downtown with their son Bronx ... Sienna Miller hailing a cab downtown ... Jessica Szohr walking to the Gossip Girl set on Central Park West ... Naomi Watts pushing son Sasha in his stroller in SoHo ... Kim Kardashian arriving at Fox News ... Jessica Simpson leaving the Ritz-Carlton with Billy Corgan ... Chris Brown leaving MTV ... and Taylor Swift walking into Otto to have dinner.

Goldman Sachs is giving in, believe it or not. The bank announced this morning that it plans to change up the way it compensates its top 30 execs this year, as the fury over outsized pay packages continues to grow. Goldman says it will now pay out the bonuses in the form of restricted stock, a move that will likely gratify Goldman's critics and also terrify high-end real estate brokers and Porsche salesmen in the Hamptons. [NYT]

Remember back in September when the Post reported that Eliot Spitzer was thinking about getting back into politics and running for state comptroller? The ex-governor denied it, but the Post has a fresh story today about Spitzer's plans, and is now reporting that the disgraced governor is now "strongly considering" mounting a campaign for comptroller and "wants to run if he can." You can, Mr. Spitzer! Ashley Dupre has already blessed your return to politics. What else could you ask for? [NYP]

• It's been more than a year since Kiefer Sutherland picked up a five-story townhouse on Greenwich Street for $8.25 million. Now he's managed to sell his old apartment and turn a profit in the process. Sutherland bought the two-bedroom pad at 134 West 10th Street—which comes with private roof and terrace—for $3.15 million in 2006. He listed it in May for $3.7 million and has since sold it to a real estate executive for $3.5 million. [BTL, Corcoran]
• Madonna is reportedly planning to buy Wild Ocean Farm, Kelly Klein's 30-acre horse farm in Bridgehampton, for "under $10 million." [NYP]
• Former Random House chief executive Peter Olson and his wife, iVillage.com co-founder Candice Carpenter Olson, have sold their duplex apartment at 799 Park Avenue for $4.5 million. The buyer is Essie Nail Polish founder Essie Weingarten and her husband, Massimo Sortino, [NYO]
• Catering queen Rhona Silver's seven-bedroom Long Island manse has gone on the market. The over-the-top home, which comes with a "gold-leafed powder room" and has been the setting for more than a few rap music videos over the years, can now be yours for $5.5 million. [Newsday]

Tom Hoving, the former head of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, died this morning, reports Michael Gross, the author of Rogues' Gallery, the tell-all about the museum that was published this past spring. A "scholar, curator, commissioner of parks in New York City, bestselling author, magazine editor, raconteur, and perennial thorn in the side of the museum mafia," Hoving long had testy relations with the man he picked to succeed him, Philippe de Montebello. But the two men settled their differences in the days leading up to Hoving's death, says Gross. "The city of New York and the museum world will be far less fun without him." [MGross.com]

It hasn't been all that long since Bernie Madoff was hauled off to prison and the family name remains as tainted as it was when the fraud was uncovered a year ago. But that isn't deterring Andrew Madoff and his brother Mark from looking into potential career opportunities in finance. According to the Wall Street Journal, Mark recently reached out to two contacts to see if he'd be able to find another job on Wall Street and indicated he'd be interested in working on a trading desk or in trading technology. Andrew Madoff is looking for a gig, too.

Ubiquitous TV chef Bobby Flay turns 45 today. The nation's nuttiest ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich, is turning 53. Actress Emmanuelle Chriqui is 32. Adam Weinberg, the director of the Whitney Museum, is 55. Verizon chief executive Ivan Seidenberg is turning 63. Meg White of The White Stripes turns 35. Actor Kenneth Branagh is 49. Actress Summer Phoenix, the sister of Joaquin and the late River Phoenix, is 31. Former CIA director Porter Goss is 71. And Marko Jarik, the NBA player who also happens to be married to supermodel Adriana Lima, is 31.

• The week in reviews: Sam Sifton of the Times pronounces Madangsui the best Korean BBQ in Manhattan and gives it one star; the Post's Steve Cuozzo isn't all that impressed with Le Caprice; Time Out's Jay Cheshes has mixed feelings about Susur Lee's Shang; GQ's Alan Richman heads over to Ken Friedman and April Bloomfield's Breslin; and Gael Greene checks in on Café Boulud.
• It's looking likely that Scott Conant will take over the Table 8 space. [Eater]
• A peek inside the Guggenheim Museum's new restaurant, Wright. [NYT]|
• Nightlife: A new club on West 29th Street called Amnesia debuts tomorrow; and Mike Satsky's meatpacking club Provocateur should open shortly.
• More on the Tavern on the Green auction scheduled for next month. [NYT]
• Time Out lists off the 100 best things to eat and drink in New York. [TONY]
• The Flatiron Indian eatery Tamarind is opening a branch in Tribeca. [Zagat]
• Frank Bruni and Jonathan Safran Foer debated meat last night. [TONY]
• If your kid refuses to eat at McDonald's, watches Iron Chef religiously, and studies up on varieties of cheese, you probably have a "gastrokid." [NYP]

Photo: Flickr/iandavid