Donald Trump's bad hair day [Telegraph]

It's a big day for Eliot Spitzer! First off, it's the disgraced governor's birthday: Yes, 49 years ago today, Bernie and Anne Spitzer were responsible for brining Eliot Laurence Spitzer into this world. But it looks like he won't be able to relax and truly enjoy the special day. According to the Post, prosecutors have such a strong case against him, they didn't even have to bother to offer Mark Brener, the ringleader of the Emperors Club, a sweet deal to cooperate with the investigation. Brener is expected to spend 30 months in prison on money-laundering and prostitution-conspiracy charges after he pleads guilty on Thursday.

They've only been there since November, but Mariska Hargitay and her husband, actor Peter Hermann, are already putting their Chelsea penthouse on the market for $8.25 million in hopes of finding a better place uptown, closer to their son's private school. The O'Neill Building apartment they're leaving behind features three bedrooms, two terraces, and two floors of living space. More pics after the jump.

• Despite incessant talk of the real estate bubble bursting, not only are resale prices at 15 Central Park West holding up, they're soaring. Dan Loeb's $45 million penthouse is looking like the bargain of the century! [NY Mag]

The Silk Building penthouse that Britney Spears once occupied is back on the market. Thanks to a new paint job and some kitchen renovations, it's now on the market for $6.595 million (or more than $2 million more that Spears sold it for). The best feature of the apartment? The long list of famous people who have lived there. In addition to a pre-Federline Brit, the pad has also been home to Russell Simmons and Keith Richards, which means there's about a 50 percent chance you'll go crazy or abuse drugs if you move in. More photos after the jump.

You have to wonder just how annoyed Gina Gershon is by all this chatter about her alleged affair with Bill Clinton: ginagershon.com hasn't seen this kind of traffic in years! The sultry actress turned up on Live with Kelly and Regis this morning (with Mario Lopez subbing for Rege), an appearance that we're sure had everything to do with her supporting role in Boeing on Broadway and absolutely nothing to do with her part in a political scandal that continues to swirl. Naturally, she took a moment to comment on the story that has had pundits talking their heads off for days:

Harper's Bazaar editrix Glenda Bailey visited Buckingham Palace last Wednesday when she was awarded an OBE (Order of the British Empire) for her "contributions to journalism and fashion." Unfortunately, the designation doesn't enable her to call herself a Dame; on the plus side, it's one honor that Anna Wintour can't claim. [WWD]

The news concerning the New York real estate market isn't terribly upbeat—the Times reported over the weekend that resale prices at certain chic New York City developments (like 40 Bond and the Time Warner Center) are dipping—but the situation seems to be a whole lot worse if you're a celeb who reached your prime a decade or two ago. The celebrity foreclosure club now includes Jose Canseco, Michael Jackson, Latrell Sprewell, Ed McMahon, Aretha Franklin, Don Johnson, and Evander Holyfield. Celebreality to the rescue! [Luxist]

"I now have 3,715 friends, of whom I actually know three," Mike Bloomberg told the Times over the weekend, referring to the Facebook profile he set up in late 2007. (Perhaps the article is responsible for his surge in popularity: He's up to 3,864 as of this morning.) So who are the three? There's Ed Skyler, for one. Anyone else in the Bloomberg administration have a Facebook profile? Let us know! [NYT]

The Daily News was thoughtful enough to send a couple of reporters and a photographer yesterday to prowl the Jersey Shore for Ashley Alexandra Dupre (or, perhaps more likely, Ashley tipped them off to her presence, still hoping that keeping her name in the news will land her that record deal she's still looking for). In any event, Ashley and her mom—who, to be honest, looks a bit like a hooker herself—soaked up the sun in Sea Girt, NJ; Ashley showed off the "the curves that wiped out former Gov. Eliot Spitzer's career" as well as her famous tattoo, "tutela valui," which at least according to the language experts here and here, may very well be jibberish in Latin. Touchingly, she and her mom wore matching Gucci sunglasses, news that must come as a major disappointment to Tom Ford, her eyewear designer of choice just a few weeks ago.

Join us in wishing a hearty happy birthday to Natalie Portman, who turns 27 today. Actor and Parkinson's poster-boy Michael J. Fox is 47. Johnny Depp is 45. Neurologist and author Oliver Sacks will be celebrating his 75th birthday today. And restaurateur and playboy Giuseppe Cipriani turns 43.

Last night, Lincoln Center's Avery Fisher Hall played host to the James Beard Awards, the Oscars/Emmys/Tonys/Grammys of dining. Grant Achatz, the 34-year-old Chicago chef whose cruelly poetic battle with tongue cancer is recounted in this must-read New Yorker piece, won the top award of the night, the Oustanding Chef Award. Hometown winners included Danny Meyer's Gramercy Tavern, for outstanding restaurant; Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich, for outstanding restaurateur; and up-and-comer Gavin Kaysen of Cafe Boulud, who bagged the Rising Star Award. And what culinary event would be complete without some groveling display of deference to David Chang? The Momofuku chieftain was handed the award for best chef in New York City.

Rumors of his label's demise are proving a big boost to Heatherette's Richie Rich. He's just signed on to do his own line for mall punk chain Hot Topic, and now Madonna's come calling. "Liz Rosenberg, her publicist, just contacted us and said that she wants us to come up with some sketches, some ideas and some inspirations for her tour," said Richie. Sounds like a match made in spangly gay heaven. [Fashionista/MTV]

• Beth Ostrosky loves sharing wedding details. Howard Stern's almost-wife says she and the shock jock will be inviting 150 guests to an October wedding in the city, and she'll be wearing a Marchesa dress that she's been discussing with Georgina Chapman. Oh, and the happy couple plans to adopt more dogs since Howard says he's not having any more kids. [Page Six]

Hillary spent a total of $212 million running for office and today the Daily News offers up suggestions on what she could have done with the money instead, like send 76,000 families of four to Disneyland in Calfornia or equip all 2,300 students at Wellesley, Hillary's alma mater, with a Porsche 911 Carrera. One item noticeably absent from the list? She could have covered eight hours of the war in Iraq! [NYDN]

1) The Modo eyewear boutique on Mott Street celebrated its opening with Jennifer Creel, Phillip Lim, Christine and Steve Schwarzman, and Olivia Palermo. [Fashion Week Daily/Elle]

Has your life been barely worth living since last September, when Misshapes at Don Hill's closed its doors? Newly minted IMG model Leigh, Greg and Geordon have been too busy cashing in on their hipster notoriety to throw parties, leaving a massive guyliner-and-ironic-accessories-shaped hole in downtown nightlife. But relief is at hand! Tomorrow night the camera-loving threesome is back on the scene with the launch party of their website: 100 Lafayette, DJ's Ben Cho and Agyness Deyn, an open vodka bar, and toxic amounts of black hair dye. [Style.com/The Modern Age]

If there's one thing Jason Pomeranc excels at it's swearing up and down that he'll open a hotel by a certain date and then failing to follow through. Now he's promised that his Thompson LES will open on July 15th—and, shockingly, it looks like actually might. There's a first time for everything, even when it comes to overly slick hotel developers. [Hotel Chatter]

• A throng of more than 120,000 pig eaters is expected to descend on Danny Meyer's annual Big Apple Barbecue Block Party in Madison Square Park on Sunday. The temperature is supposed to be 95 degrees. Hope you like other people's sweat on your pulled pork. [NY Sun]

Rudy Giuliani has laid understandably low since his much-hyped 2008 presidential campaign crashed and burned before it really got off the runway. But new schemings suggest he hasn't lost his appetite for executive office, and may have his eye on the Governor's mansion. Giuliani, who passes his days in what be frustratingly attention-deprived fashion at his consulting firm, Giuliani Partners, is fighting a proxy battle with Michael Bloomberg—whose possible gubernatorial ambitions themselves came to light this week—over who should be the next leader of the state GOP. Giuliani is angling to install his longtime crony Anthony Carbonetti, while Bloomberg is pushing for outgoing Buffalo Rep. Tom Reynolds. Rudy's fundraising abilities will greatly improve if he gets his way, though it's hard to imagine a few extra million dollars making a difference when you're up against a wallet like Mike's.