Hummer salesmen—those poor global warming-enabling souls! Because of outrageous gas prices and a faltering economy, fewer egomaniacs are ponying up for the gas-guzzlers, especially the top-of-the-line H2, which gets a not exactly Honda Civic-esque 10 miles to the gallon. All this has left the Manhattan Hummer showroom on 11th Avenue sadly deserted of late. "I haven't sold an H3 in a long time," laments salesman Leonard Blotz. And we thought mortgage bond traders had it bad. Although judging from what we've seen emerging from the Lincoln Tunnel as of late, we're going to guess Blotz's colleagues in Mahwah aren't nearly as depressed.

Hear the rumbling of stomachs on Park Avenue this morning? It's coming from the doctors anticipating/dreading the release of New York's "Best Doctors" issue next week. Now in its 11th year, it's one of the magazine's most important issues, not to mention is responsible for raking in a small fortune in advertising for the mag. But it's also one of the more controversial issues, too. This is, after all, the mag that put an analysis of breakfast on the cover last week. And printed a cartoon of Brooklyn blog commenters the week before. Now they're going to tell you who to see for lifesaving cancer surgery?

Tim and Nina Zagat, proprietors of the "useful" but "decliningly relevant" maroon guidebooks to restaurants and "every other kind of establishment under the sun," have "dejectedly" abandoned their "aggressive" effort to sell their company. Despite "modest" early interest from bidders like IAC, CBS, and Bruce Wasserstein, no "sucker" ended up biting at the Zagats' "grossly inflated" price tag of $200 million. [NYT]

Let the lamb and rice platters flow! Street vendor Tony Dragonas, whose militantly-beloved cart at 62nd and Madison has been sating Upper East Siders for 25 years, is not getting put out of business by the city. The neighborhood icon has settled a lawsuit with the Department of Health, putting to bed the 19 $1,000-a-pop health code violations that threatened to sink him. Area residents who normally don't display an iota of concern for the woes of the working-class mounted a vigorous defense of Tony, signing a "Save Tony Petition" in droves; a dozen diehards even showed up at his trial in the financial district yesterday to testify on his behalf. A heartwarming victory for the little guy, greasy chicken, and even greasier (but supposedly delicious) hamburgers.

It's nice to be the son of a billionaire media mogul—especially if you're trying to carve out a music career. Meet Ben Brewer, fiance of M.I.A., and son of Edgar Bronfman Jr. and one of the newest members of the Warner Music family. The aspiring rockstar doesn't sport his dad's famous last name—his mother is Sherri Brewer, the African-American actress who appeared in '70s movies like Shaft—but his father is Warner Music's chairman and, of course, heir to a multi-billion liquor fortune that he has squandered to the tune of billions over the past decade. To Brewer's credit, he's no newbie to the music scene; his band, The Exit, has been around for years. (And his dad has a history of handing out contracts to close pals, like Jimmy Dolan.) Whether or not The Exit is any good seems to be a matter of opinion: Roger Friedman, Fox gossip and Bronfman nemesis, described the group as "incredibly mediocre-sounding," and said they "sound like a Police cover band at a high school prom." You can judge for yourself on the band's MySpace page.

Demand for advertorial about 800 thread-count sheets, concierge services, and stainless steel wine refrigerators is soaring. Soon joining the likes of Gotham, Haute Living, and Avenue is Manhattan, an oversized glossy from Modern Luxury, yet another player in the "strategic circulation" market, aka sending publications free to the right zip codes. So assuming you live in the 10021, this September you can expect yet another ad-heavy, journalism-light magazine to appear in your mailbox. [WWD]

New York seems to have fun new sport: Scaling the new Renzo Piano-designed New York Times headquarters! As you undoubtedly have seen by now, two people hoisted themselves up the glassy new building yesterday. The first, French stuntman Alain "Spider-Man" Robert, unfurled a banner decrying global warming from the building's 11th story before getting arrested as soon as he reached its summit.

One of the rumors sparked by the ousting of HarperCollins CEO Jane Friedman was that the book publisher's profits were down; perhaps that's why they're now bothering to sue Victoria Gotti to get back a $70,000 advance paid in 2005. The organized crime scion-slash-reality TV star had signed a contract with erstwhile HarperCollins editor Judith Regan to write two books, including a memoir about her father, "Teflon" don John Gotti. According to the suit filed, two unacceptable outlines were rejected, but Gotti's agent says she chose to cancel the contract when Regan left the company, and will pay back the money when she gets a deal with another publisher. Victoria must be relieved to be finally upholding the family tradition with a day in court, even if spending your book advance on spray-tans and hair extensions isn't quite murder, extortion and racketeering.

• Haven't seen Isaac Mizrahi around much lately? That's because he's been holed up making his own pomade, since the product he usually uses is no longer on the market. If all goes well, he might sell his new creation and call it I-Hair. [Page Six]

Is Tom Cruise moving to New York? The answer is yes—at least temporarily. Cruise and the kids are following Katie Holmes to Manhattan when she makes her theater debut in "All My Sons," which opens in October. That means for 16 weeks (at least) the crazy Cruises will be bunking down here in the city, although their precise whereabouts still haven't been determined. While the fam's been staying at The Carlyle as of late, Katie's rumored to be checking out furnished Upper East Side rentals in the $60,000 per month and up category. Whether they'll buy or rent might still be up in the air, but settling down on the UES makes perfect sense: The "Scientology Celebrity Centre" is on East 82nd Street between Fifth and Madison.

You wouldn't know it from the packed, $28,500-a-head fundraiser he held on Park Avenue last night, but Obama panic is setting in among the city's ultra-rich. With at least one member of the moneyed class, that is. From the Observer comes the report that Leonard Toboroff, chairman of Houston-based energy company Allis-Chalmers Energy, is putting his 3,973-square-foot, 11-room North Moore Street penthouse (which he bought from Tom Freston) on the market for $17.9 million. Why? He's worried that a victorious Obama will raise capital gains taxes. [Observer]

Have you been watching Fabiola Beracasa's video reportage series at New York? No? Well, you haven't lived: Our intrepid roving investigator has been filmed getting her hair done, venturing backstage at fashion shows, and braving a party crowd at Cipriani! According to Park Avenue Peerage, the hard-hitting segments have been "noticed" by major networks, so watch out Christiane Amanpour! This week Fabi also breaks into print journalism with an article in Gotham, in which she extolls the wonders of the Fendi baguette. Don't read it if you're easily upset, however—at a benefit auction in LA, the poor dear fell in love with a one-of-a-kind Jeff Koons-designed purse, but was outbid! We can only hope it went to a decent home.

Looking to keep tabs on which C-list girls-about-town "It" gay Peter Davis is rubbing elbows with? Now you can via his new papermag.com blog, which is called Peter Davis' Status Update in deference to the fact that he spends half his day on Facebook. (He has 3,183 friends and counting.) The pilot episode finds Davis at a party at the eponymous Upper East Side clothing boutique of "designer" Nicole Hanley, the daughter of Greenwich oil-and-gas magnate William "Lee" Hanley Jr., and concludes with an avalanche namedrop of second-tier socials—Carter Peabody, Travis Acquavella, Bartle Bull, Dori Cooperman, etc. Not present: anyone actually impressive.

For those itching to book a room in Andre Balazs' highly-anticipated Standard hotel in the meatpacking district, the good news is that the views will be magnificent, as these photos inside the construction site make clear. The bad news is that the long-awaited lodging, whose opening is already a year behind schedule, won't be done any time soon, judging by the same photos.

Lauryn Flynn, longtime director of celebrity relations at Calvin Klein, Lindsay Lohan BFF, and ubiquitous girl about town, has left CK to start a fashion company with her friend Sean Avery, who's the only person in the world to have parlayed hockey stardom into a Vogue internship. [Fashion Week Daily]

Webster Hall, site of untold thousands of cheesy concerts, is now legally sacrosanct. The City Council Land Use Committee has landmarked it. If only CBGB had been so lucky. [NY Post]

Prefer some hipster attitude with your transaction? Like various other financial institutions, Capital One's shares have fallen more than 25% in the past year, but unlike other banks, they're employing some rather unorthodox new marketing strategies. The branch on Second Avenue is apparently playing to the American Apparel crowd with vintage Eames and Herman Miller furniture, graffiti art, and a tag beneath a teller window. Not to be outdone, Citibank's getting DJs and skateboard ramps next week. [Missbehave]

Sitting on the steps of the Met has been banned through April 2009 due to construction. Sorry, Constance-Billiard students, you'll just have to suck it up and have lunch in the cafeteria. [City Room]

Philip Seymour Hoffman and longtime girlfriend Mimi O'Donnell have gone into contract on a fifth floor loft at 68 Jane Street. The three-bedroom, pre-war apartment—which was listed for $4.4 million—features high ceilings, a wood burning fireplace, and authentic doors from Provence. Photos after the jump.

In the same way that child molesters gravitate toward jobs that put them into contact with kids, sexual harassers seem to gravitate toward jobs that put them into contact with... women who've dedicated their careers to fighting sexual harassment. Jack Tuckner, a founding partner of the womens-rights law firm Tuckner Sipser Weinstein & Sipser, is being sued for sexual harassment by the firm's former office manager, Lisa Brockington. The lewd litigator's skeevy antics allegedly included boasting to Brockington about his pierced dong, wearing a bondage collar on the job, and displaying a screensaver that showed him kneeled at the feet of a dominatrix; he also talked Brockington up to his co-workers as "the ultimate shiksa." Ironically, Brockington's charges actually bolster Tuckner's assertion on his website, womensrightsny.com, that he's an "expert on sexual harassment.