• Madonna's estranged brother Christopher Ciccone is writing a tell-all book about his sis, and it's supposed to be extremely graphic and "devastating." [Page Six]

The most powerful woman on Wall Street—at least according to Portfolio—is out of a job. Erin Callan, the chief financial officer of Lehman Brothers and the woman who has been on the firing line since Lehman accounced a series of unexpectedly large write-downs (and a disastrous quarterly loss), has been demoted. She'll stay at the bank, albeit not as CFO. And she's not the only one. Joe Gregory, the firm's president and chief operating officer, has been demoted, too.

The high rollers who raised millions for Hillary Clinton's campaign are getting (another) visit today from the man who helped dashed their dreams—Obama's campaign manager. And guess what? He's going to be asking them for millions more. David Plouffe, one of Obama's closest advisors, will be stopping off at a Midtown law firm today to meet with a group of HillRaisers who oiled and operated Hil's vaunted money machine.

It's good to be Rachel Roy at the moment: The mother of two—daughter Talullah was born just a month ago—is now selling a 50% share in her eponymous fashion company to the Jones Apparel Group, the fashion behemoth that controls Nine West and Anne Klein, among other lines. Roy's label, popular with youthful socialites and the occasional celeb, was founded a few years ago with backing from the designer's rap mogul husband Damon Dash. Now it will now go into major expansion mode with new lines like shoes and perfume, freestanding stores, and even a diffusion line for women who, tragically, don't have $1,000 to spend on a dress they'll wear once.

The lawyer representing Frenchman Alain Robert, the (first) guy who scaled the New York Times building last week, says his client should be honored, not jailed. Traffic at alainrobert.com is already way up, what more could he possibly want? [NY Post]

First they came for our trophy buildings, now they want to control our beer supply? Belgian-based InBEV just made an unsolicited offer to buy Anheuser-Busch—the maker of Budweiser—for $46.8 billion, or approximately 7 billion six-packs. [Bloomberg]

Erstwhile supermodel Helena Christensen likes 'em young: After dalliances with Josh Hartnett and the late Heath Ledger, she's now hot and heavy with Interpol singer Paul Banks, who's ten years her junior. The two were papped sunbathing in Miami, which is the most attention Banks (who used to date Vice photographer Abbey Drucker) has had since Interpol was popular in 2003. [The Sun]

Yesterday real estate scion Jared Kushner bragged in an interview with Portfolio's Lloyd Grove that his New York Observer has "the smartest readership probably in the world of any publication." That must explain why the paper published an editorial aimed squarely at its ultra-sophisticated audience—OTB regulars who weekly blow their social security checks on horse races. Let's hear it for filthy dens of misery frequented by the city's most disenfranchised!

Forbes released their "Celebrity 100" this week and along with the usual top earners is the list of this year's drop-offs—celebs whose lackluster year got them booted from the list, people like Tom Hanks, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, and Jeff Foxworthy. One slightly awkward choice: Adam Sandler, who Forbes concluded had "failed to lure blockbuster audiences—or blockbuster buzz—this past year." Too bad the kids at Forbes went to the press with their list last week. Before, that is, You Don't Mess with The Zohan came out, which garnered surprisingly good reviews (for a stupid comedy anyway) and did pretty well in receipts, too. The movie was No. 2 at the box office last weekend, raking in more than $40 million.

The British clothing mecca owned by billionaire retailer Sir Philip Green and adored by fashionistas is coming to New York, as you've probably heard. Green released a few new details today: The 40,000 square foot, four-floor space at 478 Broadway (between Broome and Grand) will open in October. Expect throngs of hysterical shoppers including established devotees like Chloë Sevigny, Liv Tyler, and Gwyneth Paltrow—who will be catered to in a planned VIP suite, natch. [WWD]

• Project Runway hostess Heidi Klum is leaving her Bank Street pad, now that the deal to sell her penthouse has officially closed. Although the $5.35 million sale price is less than the $5.6 million the apartment was rumored to be going for, the two-bedroom was too small to fit her (rapidly expanding) family, who will remain in LA for the time being.

Note to restaurateurs: spilling wine on Frank Bruni's dining companions is not the fastest way to his heart. That's what we learn from the Bruni's hilariously abusive zero-star review of Ago, Robert De Niro's Italian restaurant in the Greenwich Hotel. Said downpour of sauvignon kicked off his train-wreck of a meal. But this wasn't any old spill—"I'm talking about the "Poseidon Adventure" of wine spills. Shelley Winters could have done the backstroke in it." And this happened before Bruni was even seated. Somehow, some way, everything went downhill from there. Other amusingly terrible aspects of his dinner:

After feted collaborations with Isaac Mizrahi, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez for Proenza Schouler, Erin Fetherston, and Jovovich-Hawk, Target just announced its latest high-end partnerships: Anya Hindmarch is creating handbags for the chain and Sigerson Morrison a line of shoes. Looks like even the most outer borough-phobic Manhattan women will be making trips to Brooklyn. [WWD]

Mort Zuckerman's sleep-inducing U.S. News, which has played third fiddle to rival news weeklies Time and Newsweek for years, announced this week that it will be switching to a biweekly publication schedule next year. Not a huge shock—the mag started abandoning news coverage in favor of "Best Colleges in America"-type lists last fall, and reduced its annual issue count from 46 to 36. But does the move signal that the Canadian-born tycoon is moving away from media and focusing on his first love, real estate? And as crappy as the newspaper business is right now, is commercial real estate really the place to be putting your money these days?

Peter Dinklage is short and old. He turns 39 today. Also celebrating: Scientology-lovin' Fox News legal eagle Greta Van Susteren is 54. Style.com's Candy Pratts Price looks damn good for someone turning 59. Harlem's own Charlie Rangel is turning 78. On the local political front, fire department commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta is 76 and public advocate is Betsy Gotbaum's turning 70. Mets shortstop José Reyes is celebrating his 25. Indiana Jones cutie Shia LeBeouf turns 22. Times CEO Janet Robinson is 58. Surgeon (and friend of Oprah) Mehmet Oz turns 48.

Susan Lyne, who took over Martha Stuart Living Omnimedia when its namesake went on a five-month vacation to the clink, is stepping down after failing to revive the company's ailing stock price. The CEO job will now be shared by two women: Wenda Harris Millard, president of the media division, and Robin Marino, who heads merchandising, neither of whom, it has to be said, holds a candle to Lyne in the Martha-lookalike department. MSLO's press release on the shakeup after the jump.

New York magazine would sweeten up a harmless bit of gossip and make it more cute than it actually was? Say it ain't so! This week, the mag ran an Intelligencer item detailing an encounter between Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and Sarah Jessica Parker outside the Bloomberg Building during which Scalia giddily revealed himself to be a giant SATC fan. Sound a little unlike the arch-conservative justice? Indeed.

The two New York buildings that adorn more tourist schlock than any others—the Flatiron building and the Chrysler building—are being bought by tourists, albeit extremely deep-pocketed ones. Italian mogul Valter Mainetti's Sorgente Group is acquiring a majority stake in the Flatiron, while the Abu Dhabi Investment Council is poised to take a 75% stake in the Chrysler for approximately $800 million. Didn't get in your bid in time? Guess you'll have to settle for the statue and 3-D puzzle.

Finally, Tricia Walsh-Smith has someone new to be angry at besides her soon-to-be ex Philip Smith. She's now battling the woman who filmed her first YouTube video, Mary Allen. You see, Mary claims she directed the masterpiece, while Tricia claims she was just "a hire." And where else would these two women duke it out than on YouTube? Mary has posted a "director's cut" trailer—we can only hope the full length version is on its way—while Tricia has responded with a three-minute rant filmed inside a dingy hallway. (Does this mean Philip finally got her out of his Park Ave pad?) Both women are completely nuts, which makes this so much more fun to watch. Both videos after the jump!

So how did Eliot Spitzer celebrate his 49th birthday yesterday? He displayed an extraordinary lack of judgment once again: He spent the morning jogging in Central Park on one of the hottest, most disgusting days of the years. [NYDN]