Nike has recruited Don King—yes, that Don King—to promote next week's US Open. The "Grapple in the Apple" even gave sport's biggest stars new names: Roger "The Magician of Precision" Federer and Rafa "Matador of Spin" Nadal. [AdAge]

Transforming himself from inexperienced young Brit to decadent scion of privilege Chuck Bass clearly involves some impressive acting skills on the part of Ed Westwick, but as The Transom discovers, only by seeing the process up-close can you appreciate quite how much elaborate facial contortion is involved: "Mr. Westwick skillfully relaxes his eyelids... tilts his head sort of down and to the side, and proceeds to flex his nostrils as if mid-yawn and, voila!" Somewhere, Stanislavski is looking on and smiling. [Observer]

The next time you're perusing a menu and feel like ordering some tasty fish—an expensively-prepared piece of red snapper, say—you might want to bear in mind that what arrives on the plate won't necessarily be what you're paying for. Up to a quarter of fish in New York's restaurants and stores is mislabeled, discovered two high school students at Trinity who took it upon themselves to collect 60 fish samples and send them off for genetic testing. The results showed that when the fish had been misidentified, it was always as a more expensive species, like Acadian redfish being passed off as red snapper.

Last night was Dan Abrams' final show on MSNBC following the decision earlier this week to cancel his Verdict and replace him with Rachel Maddow. It was a bit awkward—especially when Abrams suggests that viewers not write him off completely since he's had three MSNBC shows come and go in the past five years—but inviting fellow cancelled MSNBC host Tucker Carlson to join him during the last few minutes was a nice touch. A clip after the jump.

• Ricky Gervais and his girlfriend, British TV producer Jane Fallon, paid $1.66 million for a one-bedroom condo at the converted Barbizon hotel at 140 East 63rd Street. [Page Six, TRD]

Dermatologist/socialite Lisa Airan didn't snag a mention in New York's cover story on facial plastic surgery a couple of weeks ago, but when the mainstream media shuts you out, you can always deliver the message straight to the people. Airan just uploaded her reel of media appearances to YouTube, a useful reminder that she speaks to a reporter every other day, on average. Follow along as Airan explains why she's not concerned about the economy: Her patients are so high-end, she says, they can afford to keep Botoxing no matter what. We're not sure just how many high-end prospects are trolling YouTube to find their next doctor (especially since so many of the existing videos are by cosmetic docs in third world countries) but judge for yourself after the jump.

Kurt Andersen, the co-founder of Spy and former editor of New York and Inside.com, turns 54 today. Also celebrating: CourtTV creator Steve Brill is 58, hedge funder Dave Ganek is 45, and 60 Minutes' Steve Kroft is 63. Tori Amos is 45 today. National Review editor-in-chief Rich Lowry is 40. And Scooter Libby is 58. On Saturday, Kobe Bryant and Strokes singer Julian Casablancas will both be 30. Village Voice fashion columnist Lynn Yaeger will turn 57. Rick Springfield will be 59. DJ Timmy Regisford will be 45. Novelist Nelson DeMille will turn 65. On Sunday, Gawker chief Nick Denton will be celebrating his 42nd birthday. The New Yorker's Adam Gopnik will turn 52. Mel Karmazin will celebrate his 65th. Craig Kilborn will be 46. Dave Chappelle will be 35. Vince McMahon will be 63. Most importantly, Steve Guttenberg will be 50.

Richie Randazzo is the Park Avenue doorman who won the lottery, bought a new car, and picked up a twentysomething Swedish girlfriend who may or may not have been a prostitute. Today the Times meets up the unlikely loser in this story: Randazzo's pal, Ray Otero, the super at 106 East 85th Street who spends $30,000 a year on lottery tickets but has yet to win a major jackpot. But there's a silver lining! At least residents of the building now know that their Christmas tip money is funding state education. [NYT]

• Two waitresses at 1Oak say they were fired from Scott Sartiano's club so that they could be replaced with white girls. Now they have a lawsuit in the works. [P6]

• An analyst suggests Lehman may be a hostile takeover candidate; a WSJ reporter explains why that's unlikely; and another points out the difficulty involved in selling off its asset management business. [NYP, WSJ, WSJ]

• The Times' Cathy Horyn surveys fall's clothes, and leaves the reader feeling like a second mortgage will be necessary. Thakoon sequin dress for $4,900, anyone? [NYT]

• Barack Obama will appear on the cover of Time for the seventh time this year. [Drudge]

Yes, there's a clutch of new TV shows about fashion and models, but supposing you're a more cerebral type who prefers to get your fix of backstage catfights, diva-ish designers and general industry sleaze from reading? Eighties supermodel Carol Alt would love you to pick up a copy of her autobiographical novel, This Year's Model, which follows the adventures of a wholesome young woman from New Jersey as she navigates the treacherous waters of modeling while keeping her "dignity intact," only briefly slipping off the straight and narrow by accidentially ingesting some hash brownies.

Could anyone passing through Times Square this afternoon please take a second to explain to the Naked Cowboy that his 15 minutes ended, like, three years ago? The man legally known as Robert Burck says he's "in discussions to host an American Idol type show that will feature performers vying for the title of the world's greatest street singer." That's "discussions" as in "maybe if I get a newspaper to write about it, that will be just enough convince a stupid, desperate network exec to take a chance on it." [NYP]

When Americans think about reasons to visit Britain, what usually comes to mind is seeing old castles, eating scones, and drinking tea. But, for celebrities at least, there's another excellent reason: taking magazines to the cleaners! Apparently Jennifer Lopez, Harrison Ford, and Britney Spears are all indulging in "libel tourism," which was inaugurated in 2000 when London-based Russian émigré Boris Berezovsky (more here) took action against Forbes for portraying him as "a brutal thug and crook."

And you thought your marriage has problems? A roundup of some of New York's nastiest divorces. [Page Six Magazine]

What good is an executive assistant if she won't organize your porn collection or lend an ear when you need someone to listen to the stories of your sexual exploits? Fatima Monahan, the onetime secretary to finance heavyweight Frederick Iseman, made this the basis of a $24 million sexual harassment suit against the Caxton-Iseman chairman last April. The private equity mogul's response? He said no hanky panky had taken place and she was paid $125,000 a year to "schedule personal and professional appointments, run errands and prepare checks for personal bills"?

Michelle Williams going on a coffee run in Brooklyn with her mom Carla and daughter Matilda ... Aretha Franklin waving to fans on her way out of a Midtown hotel ... ... Katie Holmes and Suri going to a paint-your-own-pottery shop on the Upper East Side ... America Ferrera getting out of a limo on the set of Ugly Betty ... Brandon Davis standing on the sidewalk and talking on his cell .... Taylor Hicks signing autographs outside his Broadway show ... Gisele Bundchen heading into Spa Belles ... and the cast of The Real World: Brooklyn on St. Mark's Place.

Eric Zinterhofer seems to have it all, huh? He's a Harvard Business School grad and a partner at Leon Black's famed private equity firm, Apollo Management. More importantly, he's married to Aerin Lauder, the billionaire heiress and daughter of Ron Lauder. But there's one little secret he may not be so quick to share with his friends and co-workers! Behind that sturdy jaw and perfect set of gleaming white teeth lies a man with a criminal past. Okay, so it's actually not all that juicy. Unlike his boss's close associate, Jeffrey Epstein, who is in prison for his dalliances with underage prostitutes, Eric's rap sheet consists of a reckless driving charge in Connecticut. Still, we wouldn't suggest drag racing the speed demon if he pulls up next to you at a red light in East Hampton. He's clearly fearless. Eric's rap sheet after the jump.

• Betsey Johnson's penthouse apartment at 45 Fifth Avenue is hers no more: JP Morgan managing director Kemal Askar has closed on the place for $2.5 million. [Real Deal]