• Execs at CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox are supposedly "seething" that the president's three news conferences have cost them $30 million in ad revenue. [THR]
• Is the New York Times Co. heading towards bankruptcy? [E&P]
• More budget cuts at the Star Ledger and San Francisco Chronicle. [E&P, HP]
• The LA Times introduces a new weekly magazine this Sunday. [Folio]
• Star Trek is off to a fast start. The pic grossed $7 million last night alone. [EW]
• It looks like television and radio advertising is rebounding a bit. [MLM]
• Former Radar editor Maer Roshan is now the editor of TheWeek.com. [NYP]
• The Simpsons got its own series of postage stamps yesterday. [Reuters]

We noted those stickers going up around town with timely phrases like "Enjoy Subprime Lending" and "Enjoy Credit Crunch" a few months ago. It's still unclear who's responsible for the guerrilla art campaign. An interview with "EnjoyBanking," one of the people involved, says it's the work of "a diverse cross-section of talent from New York's creative economy—visual artists, writers, economists, photographers, historians, musicians, and filmmakers." But additional cities will be getting stickers of their own soon, and a website dedicated to the project—enjoybanking.com—launches in June. [Art21.org via AnimalNY]

Going to prison is about to get a lot less boring. The federal prison system is introducing email to imprisoned inmates! "It's a way for inmates to still keep in touch with their families and still maintain community ties," says a spokesperson for the Bureau of Prisons. Officials say that the communications will be monitored to ensure that "no convicts are trying to scam from behind bars." But does this mean that Ruth Madoff will set up an AOL account— ruthiem212@aol.com appears to be available!—so she can shoot off messages of support to her husband behind bars? Will Raffaello Follieri begin sending sad love notes to Anne Hathaway? The possibilities boggle the mind. [NYP]

When people think "recession," some things that come to mind may be plummeting stocks and the long, slow slide into crippling depression. But self-loathing and sales of canned tuna aren't the only things on the rise. Unable to spend money on bars, restaurants and trips to the movies, people are opting for a cheaper form of entertainment: anxiety-fueled sex!

New York's most famous subway dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor, took some time to chat with Gothamist today. And he was asked the question that has undoubtedly been on your mind for years now: Why does the photo of him make it seem as if he hasn't aged a day over the past quarter-century? Zizmor says he hasn't updated the photo in 25 years because "it's hard to do transparency, the color always comes out wrong." We have no idea what that means either, but points to Billy Parker for giving it a shot. [Gothamist]

Lydia Hearst appears topless in the new issue of Italian GQ. Since the pics appear in a Condé Nast mag—and not in one owned by, say, Larry Flynt—it constitutes art/fashion, and thus is not at odds with her promise not to take her clothes off when she appeared in the French edition of Playboy. But if you'd like something to spice up your day—and you're not at work where looking at nude pics may be frowned upon—here you go. [Gawker]

Jennifer Aniston checking her BlackBerry while walking with a friend ... Mary-Kate Olsen getting in an SUV in Soho ... Naomi Watts on Bond Street pushing baby Alexander in a stroller ... Whitney Port walking in meatpacking district ... Tony Hawk skateboarding outside the Gramercy Park Hotel ... Kate Hudson carrying a cup of coffee in the West Village ... Shannen Doherty holding onto her stylist's arm ... Katy Perry shopping in Soho ... Kylie Minogue heading into her hotel in Tribeca ... Patti Smith leaving lunch at Da Silvano ... Kate Bosworth and James Rousseau getting in a cab ... Rihanna shopping at Intermix, and later leaving dinner at Da Silvano ... and Amy Ryan leaving a movie set in Central Park.

Does the name "Frenkel Lambert Weiss Weisman & Gordon" mean anything to you? No? Excellent. Feel free to move along. But if the name rings a bell because it happens to be the name of a law firm you've worked with the past, you may want to call another law firm right now since you're probably going to need a new lawyer to sue your old lawyer. It seems Frenkel Lambert filled up 61 dumpsters worth of client files—including medical records, social security numbers, addresses and the like—and dumped it on the street. Identity thieves were naturally quite pleased to see the sensitive info materialize downtown; when a Daily News reporter arrived on the scene yesterday, "several passersby were digging through the mountain of paper." Frenkel Lambert says it is now investigating the incident. In the meantime, we'll just have to there's a connection between this mishap and the "Code Shred" truck that was spotted around the corner early this morning. [NYDN, Dealbreaker]

• Alexander Belopolsky, a financial whiz who has worked for Jim Simons and Israel Englander's hedge funds, has paid $5.026 million for a four-bedroom condo at the Visionaire in Battery Park. [NYO]
• Ed Stevenson, co-founder of the investment firm Renewable Capital, and his wife Lorin, have sold their one-bedroom condo at Trump World Tower for $5.65 million. [Cityfile]
• Goldman Sachs exec Valentino Carlotti, who moved to São Paulo last year to head up Goldman's Brazil-based operations, has sold his two-bedroom condo at 119 Fulton Street for $1.2 million. [Cityfile]

Back in January, when Calvin Klein Jeans first revealed its new ad campaign shot by renowned photog Steven Meisel, company execs said it was so unbelievably racy, they wouldn't even be able to buy commercials on cable TV. But they didn't say anything about 100-foot billboards on Houston Street! "Looks like the recession isn't taming the cheap sluts and man-whores," writes Bowery Boogie. And thank God for that. [Bowery Boogie]

• Employers only cut 539,000 in April, which was slightly better than Wall Street expectations and an improvement over the month of March. But the unemployment rate rose to 8.9 percent, which is a 25-year high. [WSJ, NYT]
• Stephen Friedman has resigned as chairman of the board of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York after questions about possible conflicts of interest given his role as a director (and shareholder) of Goldman Sachs. [WSJ]
• It looks like GMAC is going to need another bailout. [NYT, NYP]

• Are Americans finally shopping again? Maybe. Retail sales were up slightly in April. [NYT]
• Gucci has filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against Guess? Inc. [BN]
• Alessandra Stanley's Times review of Bravo's Project Runway-ripoff, The Fashion Show, featuring Isaac Mizrahi, Kelly Rowland and Fern Mallis, wasn't especially favorable. [NYT]
• Agy Deyn is now pitching bottled water. [Sun]
• Leigh Lezark is the new face of Mango. [Nylon]
• Michelle Obama wore Michael Kors—not Alaïa—to the Time gala the other night. [FWD]
• If you've ever wished you could meet Adriana Lima dressed up as "a modern-day Cleopatra," you'll get your chance this Saturday. [NYM]

• A roundup of restaurants that just opened, or will be very shortly. [Eater]
• The U.S. struck a deal with the European Union and has agreed to drop its proposed tariff on things like Roquefort cheese and Spanish ham. [WSJ]
• A few more places to consider taking your mom for Mother's Day. [GS]
• A high school in Queens has opened a student-operated restaurant. [NYDN]
• Possibly NYC's cleanest (and priciest) butcher shop just opened. [GS]
• Wouldn't it be nice if In-N-Out came to New York? Keep dreaming. [TFB]

Kiefer Sutherland turned up at the 1st Precinct this afternoon in connection with that little headbutting incident the other night after the Costume Institute Gala. (The actor, who arrived armed with a dangerously pointy umbrella, was charged with misdemeanor assault and issued a desk appearance ticket.) Much more concerning, though, is that he seems to have created a very powerful enemy in the process.

We honestly can't remember the last time we heard anyone use "Tommy Hilfiger" and "popular" in the same sentence. But maybe we're just talking to the wrong people. Tommy seems to think his brand is very quite popular, and it's nice to hear that someone has a healthy sense of self-esteem, particularly since so many people are down in the dumps these days. At the after-party for the new Jennifer Aniston movie Management the other night, Tommy explained to WWD that he's now in the "conceptual stage" of building his own chain of Hilfiger-branded hotels. Where will his first property be located? "We like America but we have great popularity all over the world," he explained. "I think we could put a hotel up in just about any major city." Which is true! At least if by "city," Tommy means "suburban strip mall with a McDonald's on one end and a Marshalls on the other." [WWD]

Federal regulators say that ten of the 19 largest financial institutions in the U.S. will have to raise a combined $75 billion in capital by November. Does this strike you bad news? It shouldn't! "The results released today should provide considerable comfort to investors and the public," explained Fed chairman Ben Bernanke in a statement. Be sure to keep that in mind when you explain to your kids why they can't go to private school next year, and when you find yourself sunning yourself in Coney Island this summer because you couldn't afford a proper vacation. [NYT/Dealbook, Bloomberg]

• CBS posted a first-quarter loss as the ad recession took its toll. [THR, NYT]
• News Corp. reported a 70 percent drop in quarterly profits. [LAT, B&C]
• Profit dropped by 46 percent at Warner Music during the same period. [PC]
• Sirius XM posted a $236 million quarterly loss and also announced that its number of subscribers declined for the first time ever. [AP]
• Cablevision plans to "explore" a spinoff of Madison Square Garden. [NYT]
• News Corp. chairman Rupert Murdoch says he plans to charge readers to access the online content of his newspapers in the near future. [E&P]
• The new Bob Dylan album is No. 1 on the charts this week. [THR]
• Felix Dennis says The Week is for sale. For just $200 million. [Folio]

Plastic surgeons have come up with a totally novel plan to keep the industry afloat as interest in pricey procedures wanes thanks to the recession. They're going to start operating on black people! "We know by our statistics that this is a growing group by interest in plastic surgery," explains one doc to the Times. Naturally, you can expect to see a flood of subway ads touting $99.95 Botox injections in the near future. [NYT]

Here's encouraging news for Kathy Freston: The hardcore vegan and dieting devotee may finally be able to let Oprah go as her most famous devotee now that it appears she may have found someone else willing to try her 21-day cleanse. Harvey Weinstein's wife, fashion designer Georgina Chapman, told a reporter at Freston's book party yesterday that she and Harvey "need to try" the cleanse. Sounds promising! And after all, it's not like diet endorsements don't run in the family! [NYO]

We knew media mogul Barry Diller enjoyed the occasional spin on a mountain bike—he's pictured here on a bicycle at last year's Allen & Co. media confab—but we didn't realize he scooted around Manhattan on a Vespa. But that was one of Diane Clehane's revelations when the Mediabistro contributor turned up at Michael's yesterday for her customary Wednesday lunch: